One recommendation I have for parents who need to address school refusal behavior is to explore the root cause of why the child is avoiding school. What I have found in my work with parents struggling with this is that often times they will simply try to force the child to go to school instead of trying to understand where the behavior is coming from. Once the parent explores this with their child, they typically feel heard and will lower their guard when it comes to attending school. Another reason for exploring the cause of a child refusing school is to ensure their safety. Maybe they’re refusing school because they’re being bullied, harmed in someway, or simply being mistreated by faculty. None of this can be found out without talking to the child and inquiring on why they’re refusing to attend school. It’s also worked when the parents I’ve suggested this to have tried it!
Owner Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Outside The Norm Counseling Inc.
Answered 2 years ago
As a child and family therapist, my recommendation for parents addressing school refusal behavior is to prioritize understanding over immediate solutions. It's natural for parents to want to fix the problem quickly or resort to criticism, but children often refuse school because of deeper emotional or social challenges. Take the time to empathetically listen to your child's concerns without judgment or comparison to your own childhood. When children feel understood and supported, they are more likely to open up about their struggles and collaborate on finding solutions. This approach fosters trust and strengthens the parent-child bond, ensuring that your child turns to you for guidance and validation rather than seeking support solely from peers.
Understanding the underlying cause of school refusal is crucial. Often, this behavior stems from academic or social challenges. Imagine sitting in a classroom with peers who quickly grasp the material while you struggle to make sense of it. This scenario is a daily reality for many children with undiagnosed conditions. Therefore, I always recommend that parents have their children assessed for potential mental health and learning disorders. Many children face unnecessary struggles due to undiagnosed conditions such as dyscalculia, non-verbal learning disorder, dyslexia, or ADHD. Additionally, children with specific learning and mental health disorders often face social rejection due to impulsivity or lack of social skills. For instance, a child with a non-verbal learning disorder may have difficulty interpreting non-verbal cues, constituting 70-93% of communication, making it hard to form and maintain peer relationships. Early identification and intervention are crucial to supporting these children to thrive academically and socially.