How to Raise Children Who Feel Loved and Connected Dear Friends, Authority Magazine is launching a new series called: How to Raise Children Who Feel Loved and Connected Children thrive when they feel seen, understood, and held in a steady bond of trust. Yet many parents struggle to create that deep sense of connection while juggling daily pressures, limited time, and the constant pull of technology. A child who feels truly loved develops confidence, resilience, and a stronger ability to build healthy relationships throughout life. How can parents create that kind of foundation in a consistent and meaningful way? In this interview series, we would like to speak with parenting experts, therapists, educators and anyone with wisdom to share about “How to Raise Children Who Feel Loved and Connected.” In addition, after all interviews are completed, a roundup article featuring the best ideas will be published in Buzzfeed. Individuals who are accepted for this series will be featured in at least 1 - 3 articles Hudi Gugenheimer and Yitzi Weiner will be the primary leads for the series. Most interviews will not require phone interviews and can be done by email. Requirements: In this interview series, we would like to speak with parenting experts, therapists, educators and anyone with wisdom to share about “How to Raise Children Who Feel Loved and Connected.”

Hi Hudi and Yitzi, I would love to be considered as a parenting expert for your series! I'm a Parenting Coach (Master's Degree in Counseling and Board Certified Behavior Analyst) and I specialize in helping parents of kids with challenging behaviors (strong-willed, highly sensitive, and neurodiverse kids) know exactly how to manage those challenging behaviors in a way that creates a connected relationship with their child while teaching their kids the skills they are missing to behave better! So many parents I coach do feel this constant pressure to multi-task, to get an impossible amount of tasks done each day, all while trying to raise the kids they love so much. It creates overwhelm and chronic stress for the parents, which shuts off their ability to truly connect with their child. As much as we love our kids, they don't always FEEL deeply loved or known by their parents because of these connection challenges, and the negative impact of this on the child's self-esteem, emotional regulation, coping skills, etc. can't be understated. I have a lot of practical strategies that I've taught hundreds of families successfully and would be happy to share for your article! I would love to have an email or phone interview with you and appreciate your consideration. Thank you so much!

As a therapist who specializes in helping families connect, I know that helping parents raise children who feel loved and connected involves two things. First, the parent must love and be connected/ integrated with themselves. Second, the parent can be educated on practical things they can do to improve the connection with their kids. I will address both of these with my answer. Loving ourselves is foundational to loving others. Parents who are worried about their kids feeling loved and connected often felt disconnected or unloved by their parents growing up. This is not a barrier, but a chance to break a pattern. Through therapy, healing experiences of connection with others, and awareness, any parent can have a loving, connected relationship with their children. There are practical ways to help children feel loved and connected as well. The first is what I call the Homecoming Hello. This is a practice where, whenever someone comes home, they go around and greet everyone at home with a verbal and physical greeting. It does not have to be anything big, just a small way to connect with everyone. Technology can be a great disconnector in families. It is also often used as a crutch for managing the feeling of disconnection. Being intentional as a family and creating realistic rules about technology use is important to protect times of connection. This could be done through a family meeting where everyone can have a say on how they can feel more connected in the family.

One of the challenges in the technological space is the lack of eye contact between parents and children. Eye contact encourages the action of mirror neurons which are necessary for the development of empathy and the ability to read faces. My research has shown that there is a significant generational difference between those who were raised prior to the advent of cell phones and those after. This has come up specifically in the ability to feel comfortable with engaging with others in person due to difficulty understanding social cues.

Hello, I found your call for interviews interesting as I am qualified both professionally and by lived experience. As a licensed therapist my work focuses on attachment, child development, emotion regulation, and evidence-based positive parenting approaches. I have specialty training via post graduate fellowship at University of Michigan Psychiatry specializing in autism spectrum disorder, parenting, and children and adolescents. I regularly support families navigating stress, time constraints, and modern parenting challenges, helping them strengthen connection without focusing on perfection or unrealistic expectations. I balance the reality of parenting and self compassion while helping parents build structure within their home to best support the whole family. I emphasize natural consequences and putting energy behind activities to bolster healthy attachment, appropriate structure, and little nervous systems. I have fifteen plus years of therapy experience and know the challenges of being a present working parent - who is also often tired like everyone else! My training is grounded in attachment theory, trauma-informed care, and neuroscience-based understanding of how children develop emotional security and resilience.

It's easy in today's modern world to get lost in all of the things that we "should" be doing. Parenting is no different. I was surprised to learn that the magazine "Parenting" didn't exist before 1987. The pressures that are on today's parents are different than they ever were in the past. From technology to college resumes to kids' athletic endeavors, most modern parents are stretched incredibly thin. Yet clearly, there are also many things that are much better now for kids as a result of some of this. What is perhaps most important to note in response to this question is that kids feel connected, seen, and loved not by parents who are knocking it out of the park based on whatever book they just read or podcast they just listened to, but by having a relationship with a parent who is real, attuned to them, and fallible. If (when!) you make a mistake as a parent, you have an opportunity to model not only what the appropriate response is to making a mistake, but also to potentially allow for a moment of profound connection with your child. Disconnection happens when you present yourself as some sort of champion parent who makes zero mistakes and hands down rules and judgment from on high. No child, and certainly no humna being, can relate to that. You are as distant from your child as the ancient Greeks believed they were from the Gods on Mount Olympus. Check your ego at the door, get down on their level, and apologize. While it is important for parents not to judge themselves too harshly and try to be aware of potentially getting caught up in the modern hysteria of idyllic parenting, it's also important to note that this does not absolve you from trying to do your best. Which begs the question, how can you balance doing your best without doing too much? The short answer is this: if you feel you have energy that you want to put into being a parent, spend it first on yourself. Regulated adults raise regulated children. When caregivers model self-awareness, self-compassion, and healthy coping, children learn these skills implicitly.

As a parenting coach, professional counselor, and mother of seven, I was excited to see your upcoming series, How to Raise Children Who Feel Loved and Connected. This is truly the heart of parenting, but it can be so easily forgotten in the busyness of daily demands. In my work with families, I often share this quote from Wild Faith: "The loudest way to love your child is to help him feel seen, heard, and understood." This idea feels like the foundation of what I teach. When children feel understood, connection follows. The following are ways I encourage parents to take practical steps to love and connect with their child: 1. Discover your child's personality. Parents can gain insight into their child's strengths, struggles, emotional needs, motivators, communication styles, etc. That's a great starting point. It's like looking at a mall map and seeing where you are, where you want to go, and how to get there! 2. Explore your child's love language. Parents figure out a child's love language and can communicate love more effectively, in a "language" the child can relate with. This deepens the bond you feel. 3. Understand your child's unique wiring. Parents can put the pieces of the puzzle together to better understand what's behind the behaviors and emotions that they're dealing with. Some children are highly sensitive, neurodivergent, emotionally intense, or struggling with mental health issues. When we examine these behaviors with curiosity, they might make more sense. Instead of labeling behaviors as simply disrespectful, defiant, or disobedient we can see the needs, lacking skills, or areas that need more support. 4. Use the powerful pause and curiosity. Parents benefit when using the simple but effective powerful pause and curiosity. These allow parents to observe the triggers, struggles, or patterns of behavior that indicate what a child's trying to communicate. When we don't jump to conclusions but take time to really understand, we can be surprised to find a child communicating something they don't have the words to express. These clues help us problem solve in more effective ways. Parents learn to understand a child and become a team. A parent can hear what a child's communicating (both the spoken and unspoken), adjust their approach to be more effective, respond with empathy and understanding, and then build trust that can transform a relationship. This is the essence of loving them and creating connection that's meaningful and lasting.

I am new to Featured, so I am not exactly sure what "answers" you are looking for, but I am an educational advocate for children in foster care. While I usually work with foster parents, there are some universal truths about helping any child feel loved and connected. Often, parents feel pressure to provide their children with the best of everything: the best schools, the best toys, the best technologies, the best experiences. But those bests often come with big price tags. But they see their "friends" posting on social media about all the great things they do with their families and feel even more pressure to measure up. And of course, the kids think they want these bests also because of peer and media pressure. And yet, the memories children hold are of times when an adult took the time to read with them every night, even if only for a few minutes. Or the trip they took to the local park, where they walked around the lake and chatted about their hopes and dreams.

I feel deeply about this subject and am actually in the middle of writing a book on it. My basic thoughts are that our society has moved from control based parenting to permissive based parenting and now really would benefit from a middle ground of 'connection based' parenting. Connection-based parenting assumes that: - Children are inherently motivated to connect and cooperate when they feel secure in their relationships. - Behavior is communication. When children "misbehave," they're usually communicating an unmet need or an inability to manage their emotions. Our job is to understand the communication, not just stop the behavior. - Emotional attunement is the foundation for everything else—cooperation, learning, moral development, and relationship quality. - Limits and boundaries are important, but they work best when delivered in the context of a strong, secure relationship rather than as tools of control. - The parent-child relationship is the primary vehicle for learning and development. Everything else—rules, consequences, explanations—is secondary to the quality of this relationship. This model sees the parent's role not as controller or enforcer, but as: - Safe harbor (providing security) - Emotional coach (helping them understand and manage feelings) - Guide (offering wisdom while respecting autonomy) - Mirror (reflecting back their worth and capability) Our role as loving parents is to always align with the WISH of the child. Every communication includes within it a 'wish'. The job of the parents is to uncover the wish and find a way to validate it; even if the child's accompanying behavior is less than ideal. The parent does not have to validate an unwanted behavior, but there is ALWAYS a way to align with and validate the WISH embedded within it. Happy to talk more about this. Thanks! Marc Zola, LMFT

As an educationist with over a decade experience of working with schools, teachers and families I have come to realise that upbringing of children is less about tips and strategies and more about doing what is real and being with utmost sincerity. Raising children in this fast paced world requires conscience and consciousness of adults on what, why and how we build the relationship. I believe that there are three fundamentally core anchors that can make a child feel loved and connected. 1. Making them feel seen: To see a child is not merely about empty phrases like "good job" or "well done". It is about complete and careful attention to detail that they can receive from the adults in truth and honesty. Children sense the difference between a fleeting remark versus a slightly more invested acknowledgment. Noticing the efforts, thoughts, ideas that the child brings forth in their life, whether it be in play or work, goes a long way in building their confidence. 2. Making them feel heard: To hear out a child means more than just their words. When we understand their body language, tone and behaviour we get to meet the child at a deeper level that can make them feel heard. Instead of trying to label an emotion or offer a quick fix for their feelings when we hear them out with the sole reason to understand them, the child feels validated. It is the ability to pause, hold back while listening and offering help when they need it that gives children a sense of being heard. 3. Making them feel valued: To value a child is to revere their presence. Whether small or big, tidy or messy, giving a child the responsibility to do a task conveys our trust in them. This is not to keep them busy nor because it is their duty but a simple sense of involving their contribution and feeling a genuine gratitude for it. At the core of these anchors is intention more than effort. It is the presence and consistency in those little moments of how we show up that our love for children finds its expression and bridges a connection.

Dear Hudi Gugenheimer and Yitzi Weiner, I am writing to express my interest in contributing to your series, "How to Raise Children Who Feel Loved and Connected." As a Dual Board-Certified Psychiatrist (specializing in both Child/Adolescent and Adult Psychiatry) and the founder of ACES Psychiatry, I have a unique vantage point. I treat children struggling to find connection today, and I treat adults who are still healing from the lack of it decades later. My approach moves beyond standard parenting advice. I focus on the neurobiology of connection—how a parent's presence acts as a regulator for a child's developing nervous system. Potential angles I can discuss: The Myth of the Perfect Parent: Why "Rupture and Repair" builds a stronger bond than trying to be calm 100% of the time. Micro-Moments: How 5 minutes of "unfractured attention" is worth more than 5 hours of distracted presence. The "Safety" Signal: Why children cannot feel loved until their brain detects safety, and how parents can broadcast that signal even during discipline. I can provide clinically grounded, practical insights that help parents let go of guilt and focus on what actually drives development. Credentials: Name: Ishdeep Narang, MD Title: Dual Board-Certified Psychiatrist & Founder Company: ACES Psychiatry Location: Orlando, FL Website: www.acespsychiatry.com Bio: Dr. Narang is a nationally recognized expert in child and adult psychiatry, advocating for a holistic approach that combines medical expertise with deep emotional attunement. I look forward to the possibility of contributing. Best regards, Dr. Ishdeep Narang

We have to start by acknowledging that neurodiversity shows us a tapestry of minds, and how we approach raising connected children has to honor that reality. Right now, the prevailing system is built around neurotypical characteristics rooted in Industrial Age education standards that have remained largely unchanged. A person's value gets measured by their ability to be productive within the status quo. A child's value gets measured by how well they can conform to it. Parents need to be at the forefront of this shift. That means understanding neurodiversity not as "neurotypical versus neurodivergent," but as a model that recognizes everyone processes and experiences the world differently. Not just from a socio-economic standpoint, but from a lived, neurological understanding. Many of the largest struggles children with ADHD, autism, and other neurodivergences face, stem from the fact that the world still adheres to outdated modalities. Many parents are still operating from frameworks that were never designed with neurodiversity in mind. This is why Parent Training is one of the most critical resources available that many advocacy organizations suggest to parents. It teaches parents how to shift their approach to understand their child's likely strengths and use those to support the challenges their child faces in this system. It teaches parents to recognize that consequences may need to look completely different based on how their child processes the world. Time processing, executive function delays, sensory needs, emotional regulation patterns, all of these fundamentally change what effective parenting actually looks like. In this vein, to answer your question, when parents understand that their child's brain may be wired differently, and that this may not be a deficiency, they can create connection through understanding rather than trying to force conformity. A child should grow up feeling truly seen for who they are, not who they're expected to be. This is the foundation of trust and love. That doesn't happen through traditional reward and punishment systems that assume all children process consequences the same way. It happens when parents learn to work with their child's neurology instead of against it. The foundation of connection isn't built on making a child fit the mold. It's built on redesigning the mold to fit the child, and that starts with parents willing to challenge the systems they were raised in and learn something different.

This one's really about creating emotional safety for kids. I've seen that they feel most connected when you've got a regular rhythm, attention that's predictable, not all the time, you know? Short, fully present moments with them really make a difference over long, distracted ones. Talking openly about emotions helps build trust. When they feel like they're understood, their behavior tends to improve naturally. Discipline works a lot better when you're starting from a place of connection. Parents can make this work by creating little routines, like having a chat before bed, or shared meals, or just a regular check-in. Consistency is key, and it makes the kids feel more secure.

I would be happy to speak on this. I am a relationship and motherhood therapist who understands deeply the challenges parents are facing. There is so much information on parents on how to be a good parent that is removing the authenticity and connection that parenting requires.

Hello! I'd like to submit Jessica Marshall for your series on "How to Raise Children Who Feel Loved and Connected." This is a bit of an outside the box approach to your topic. Jessica brings a unique perspective in parenting conversations: what actually protects children's emotional wellbeing when family structure changes. As a family law attorney with 15+ years representing parents in custody disputes, high-conflict divorces, and relocation cases, she has witnessed what helps children maintain love and connection during some of the most destabilizing moments of their lives. While most parenting experts focus on day-to-day connection, Jessica has observed patterns across hundreds of families navigating separation, co-parenting conflict, and custody transitions. She's seen which communication approaches anchor children, which small rituals preserve their sense of safety, and which parental behaviors, however well-intentioned, erode trust and stability. Many children experience family transitions, whether through divorce, separation, or custody changes. Jessica's expertise addresses a reality that traditional parenting advice often avoids: how to maintain deep connection when family structure is in flux. She can speak to: How parents can provide age-appropriate transparency that builds trust rather than anxiety What children need to feel stable even when everything else is changing Red flags parents miss, like withdrawal, regression, and behavioral changes. How children thrive when they see respectful communication between parents, even if the relationship has ended Why using children to relay information between parents destroys their sense of security Recognizing when therapists, child specialists, or other advocates need to be brought in early Jessica is Managing Partner at Anderson Boback & Marshall, a Chicago-based family law firm. She has represented clients in custody, divorce, and relocation cases for over 15 years and has been recognized as an Illinois Super Lawyer. Please let me know if you are interested and I would be happy to set this up. Thank you!

Hello Hudi and Yitzi, For your 'How to Raise Children Who Feel Loved and Connected' series, I would be honored to contribute. I raised my daughter entirely on my own, from birth to adulthood. There was no co-parent, no safety net, and no shared load. My child is now a happy, grounded young adult who feels deeply loved, heard, and secure; however, the outcome did not happen by accident. It took great awareness and willingness to reflect, address, and repair issues on my end—to heal. And deliberate effort, emotional discipline to be the parent and person she needed to feel loved and connected. Single parenting definitely adds an extra layer of challenge to connection. Many factors are at play, such as tighter timeframes, higher stress, and fatigue, both physical and emotional. Strong attachment and deep trust are still definitely achievable. My lived experience sits exactly at that intersection: doing the hard, unseen work of connection while carrying everything alone. What I bring to this conversation is a genuine perspective shaped by years of real moments—mistakes, repairs, small daily choices, and consistency over time. I share what helped my child feel safe, valued, and emotionally anchored, even when our circumstances were far from ideal. I would be glad to share insights around: * What children actually need to feel loved when a (single) parent is stretched thin * How repair builds security more than perfection (key!) * Why presence and emotional steadiness are so vital * How single parents absolutely can create trust and connection despite pressure * What lasts with children long after childhood ends (so much meaning in this!) Your series matters because many parents often both doubt themselves and are very hard on themselves. I tell people a lot that they're doing better than they think. Children don't need ideal conditions (they don't know what they don't know), but they do need parents who are aware, present, and keep showing up no matter what. It would be a privilege to participate via an email interview. I appreciate your consideration. Warm regards, Elena Patrice One Parent Wonder

As a somatic trauma therapist specializing in nervous system healing, I'd bring a unique perspective to this series, which is that children don't just need to hear that they're loved, they need to feel it in their bodies through co-regulation and nervous system attunement. In my work with adults carrying childhood attachment wounds, I've learned that feeling unloved often isn't about what parents said or did, but about nervous system mis-attunement. This means that parents who were physically present but emotionally dysregulated passed on stress rather than co-regulation, and the child's body learned abandonment. I can offer practical, body-based practices for parents to regulate their own nervous systems so they can be truly present, and speak to how repairing ruptures matters more than perfection, and how breaking intergenerational trauma patterns starts with parents doing their own somatic healing work. My background includes a Master's in Contemplative Psychotherapy, specialized training in EMDR and somatic therapy (Hakomi Method), 7+ years treating complex trauma and attachment wounds, and founding Sona Collective, a trauma-informed therapy practice in Seattle and Denver. All of this has given me insight into treating early attachment wounds for lifelong healing and connection.

Raising emotionally secure children requires parents to foster love and connection amidst life's distractions. Key strategies include prioritizing quality time through dedicated family meals or game nights, which establish undistracted interactions. This approach mirrors business practices, such as regular client check-ins, which strengthen relationships and build trust. Prioritizing these meaningful connections enhances both family dynamics and professional partnerships.

Building a connection with children comes down to consistency. It is the daily small moments not grand gestures that create this connection, by listening, taking time for them and being emotionally present. These moments help them understand that they matter regardless of how crazy life may be. The emotional needs of children change as they grow. Meeting your child where he or she is at listening to their emotions, offering empathy, non judgmental listening, creates a bond of trust between your child and you. Trust is developed and provides your child with a secure feeling in their relationship with you. Healthy behavior models are essential as kids will model what they observe so you should be demonstrating respectful ways to manage conflict in your life this provides the foundational knowledge to help create quality relationships in their own lives. When balancing disciplinary action and expressions of love, you are letting your child understand that you love them regardless of the situation. In the end, teaching children to love themselves and connect with others is simply about creating a consistent environment of being present, listening and providing healthy role models. It is those simple, everyday acts that provide the building blocks for developing self confidence, learning to be resilient and developing the skills to have meaningful relationships.

The best connections come from mistakes in the little ways, and not always when everything is going right. One simple habit that i recommend for repairing a relationship with your children is a quick fix at the end of each day. When things have calmed down and ideally are quiet, think of one time today you felt like you were in too much of a hurry, or felt off, be responsible for it without explaining it away too much and tell your child how you would like them to feel from you. Speak calmly, remain still, and provide a realistic forecast for the next day. Invite your child to add or modify one item from your summary and express gratitude for their contribution. This is important as it gives the child a feeling of authority and security. The longer you show your child that closeness has nothing to do with flawless conduct, but rather with trustworthiness, stability, and seriousness the closer they will be to you.

I would be honored to contribute to this series. My work sits at the intersection of mental health, youth sports, and family dynamics, and I spend my days helping young people feel anchored, seen, and supported. For more than twenty five years, I've served as a high school guidance counselor and mental performance coach, working directly with teens, parents, and varsity athletic programs. I am also raising four athletes of my own. Everything I teach comes from the blend of real-world practice and real-life parenting. Children feel loved when they sense presence, consistency, and emotional safety. Those qualities grow when adults slow down, listen without rushing to fix, and create small but steady moments of connection in the middle of busy lives. I emphasize simple, repeatable habits—micro-moments of attunement that build trust over time. This is the core of both my counseling work and the talks I give to parents and coaches across the country. If selected, I will offer perspective rooted in: Daily work with teens navigating pressure, perfectionism, and identity. Parent-child communication skills that strengthen trust, especially during adolescence. Mental performance coaching that helps young athletes stay confident, resilient, and self-aware. My lived experience as a mother of four, raising kids through high-level sports, academics, and the ups and downs of real life. My goal is always the same: help parents create a foundation where their children feel loved, connected, and strong enough to meet the world as themselves. I'd be happy to complete the interview by email and meet all deadlines.