Relationships are at the core of who we are, what we do, and what we achieve. Decisions we make are influenced by and mainly flow out of the context of our relationships. No relationships in our lives are more pivotal and demanding than family life and business life. Unfortunately, many struggle with navigating these two and prioritizing them to extract the benefit from them that produces enriching relationships and valuable decision making. It’s been learned that when family life and business life are regarded as the teammates (and not opponents) they are meant to be, decision making is rich in clarity and is wisdom-powered because of pivotal relationship priority.
The most important factor in any decision I make is how well it sits in my gut. Your gut is never wrong. Even when everything looks good on paper, your gut may tell you differently. The biggest mistakes I made were because I not trust my own natural instincts. Your gut has no capacity for language which is why we often don't know why we feel the way we do. But rest assured, your gut is speaking to you. LISTEN!
Did you know decisions can happen in different areas of the brain? One unspoken factor that heavily influences my clients’ decisions is their awareness of the area of their brain they are using to decide! Your limbic system is the emotional operation center of your brain responsible for processing sensations, emotions, and referencing memories and is not designed to consider facts and long-term consequences. Your pre-frontal cortex is the thought-based operation center of your brain responsible for processing data, and seeing consequences/long-term impacts, and is not designed to process emotion or feeling. Coaching helps us be more conscious and in charge of our choice by: • being aware of the area of our brain that is driving our choices • training ourselves to choose from the optimal area for a given choice • learning to integrate our thoughts and emotional processes to support one another when making decisions
FEAR is one of the factors that everyone avoids and nobody talks about it! So let’s unpack it here! I believe that most of our procrastination issues, not accomplished goals, plans left out in the dust, and all of those dreams that haven’t come true yet are because we have given our whole power to our fears, and we haven’t been able to make peace with them, and mostly, learn how to dance with these fake and irrational, non-existent evidence that lives in our minds. This is one of the most common and biggest factors that influence my client’s decisions, but something we need to be able to accept is the fact that FEAR is not something we weren’t supposed to feel or that we need to avoid but LEARN to have a healthy relationship with it. It is OK to let fear into our decisions or lives, fear is just a reminder that WE CARE! But what we can’t do is let FEAR choose for ourselves!
The golden key to coaching is Curiosity! Curiosity opens the brain to possibilities. It is an unspoken superpower that can influence decisions. When we come to a situation with the intent to listen, to leave our expectations and assumptions at the door, we open up the opportunity to notice patterns in relationships, health, finances, and more. When we PAUSE with curiosity, we can offer Patience, Awareness, Understanding, Space, and Exploration to ourselves and others to make big decisions. Curious exploration and reflection allow for a positive experience to move forward.
My energy. While many, if not most, have been conditioned to make decisions based on external factors, I've found that most of my success hovered around paying attention to my own energy. Focusing on how I am feeling, in conjunction with my thoughts and my decision to take aligned action on what I want and what matters most, have given me the most success and satisfaction in my decision making. Focus on what drives you. Ask yourself the question, am I driven by fear of the matter, or am i driven by the love of the matter. And when a sense of peace ensues, you are on the right track. Pay attention to your energy.
Another factor that comes into play when making big decisions is strategic relevance. It’s hard to make choices in a vacuum. When we have a north star, it’s easier. That’s where strategic relevance comes in. Does this decision move me towards achieving my strategy or does it pull me away from doing so? Thus, we not only benefit by having strategies to improve the impact we can make in our lives and professions, but they also help us to think clearly when faced with a big decision.
Limiting beliefs. It’s that voice inside of us that says, “no, you can’t, won’t or shouldn’t”. It’s a filter through which we diminish our potential. Limiting beliefs are the stories we tell ourselves – and although the subject might change, the content is always the same. We are not enough. The challenging thing with limiting beliefs is we are not always aware that we have them. That’s where a coach can help. Coaches are trained to listen for cues that a limiting belief may be present, and together with their clients, bring them into the light of day where they can be seen for what they really are.
Coach & Business Consultant at Your Torchlight Coach & Business Consultant
Answered 3 years ago
One factor that is often not discussed or considered is core strengths. We excel when we lean into our strengths and satisfaction levels are increased. Learning curves are decreased and less friction is experienced overall when the strengths of the individual or organization are leveraged.
Think about it: big decisions usually require deep introspection to be made effectively. When faced with big choices, get all of your thoughts and feelings on paper..your doubts, fears, obstacles and motivations…pour them out. And don’t forget to focus on your reasons why, that are behind it all. And as you review your inspired thoughts and also your triggers, smart answers will greet you with an unexpected knowing.
Longevity is the main influence on my own decisions and actions — and how I guide my clients. If you don’t use Longevity as the filter for your decisions, you might get to where you wanted to be, but then not live long or well enough to enjoy and appreciate it. My Longevity Formula is lifespan (the number of years you are alive) plus healthspan (the number of years you are healthy), plus purpose. I help clients keep their health and purpose in mind with all they do so they support their lifespan, and that will support the work they do.
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