Executive Coach (PCC) + Board Director (IBDC.D) | Award-Winning International Author at Capistran Leadership
Answered a year ago
I worked with a CEO who was brilliant technically but created tension in every leadership meeting. His team described him as "intimidating" and "dismissive." He genuinely couldn't understand why others didn't just "speak up" like he did. Rather than lecture him about emotional intelligence, I had him identify one challenging relationship and keep a simple journal noting what triggered his impatience, what he observed in his body during those moments, and what story he was telling himself about the other person's competence. The breakthrough came during our third session. Looking at his journal, he suddenly said, "I realize I'm treating everyone the same way my father treated me - I see questions as signs of weakness rather than curiosity." This insight shifted everything. We developed a meeting practice where he'd silently count to three before responding to ideas, giving himself space to choose his reaction rather than defaulting to criticism. He started tracking "questions asked" instead of "problems solved" as his personal leadership metric. Six months later, his team's engagement scores showed dramatic improvement. The most powerful change wasn't in any technique I taught him, but in his newfound ability to see himself clearly in relationship with others.
The Power of Perception: How Coaching Helps Improve Workplace Relationships Perception is everything. Yet, many professionals have little insight into how their colleagues truly see them. We assume our strengths are self-evident, but perceptions are shaped by subtle behaviors that impact workplace relationships. Bridging the Perception Gap One of the best ways to gain clarity is through structured feedback. In my coaching practice, I use 360-degree assessments to highlight gaps between self-perception and external perception. Often, the results are eye-opening. For example, a senior leader I coached was surprised to learn his team saw him as unapproachable. He thought he was fostering independence, but they felt unsupported. Once he understood this, he adjusted by increasing visibility and initiating open conversations. The result? Improved morale and team cohesion. A Case of Miscommunication Another client, a high-performing sales rep, had a rough quarter and felt ignored by his manager--unanswered emails, minimal interaction. Feeling undervalued, he left for another job. His manager was shocked. In coaching, the manager revealed he had intentionally pulled back, believing distance would push the rep to work harder. However, different people are motivated in different ways. Realizing this, he shifted his approach, providing more guidance and encouragement, ultimately improving retention and performance. The Role of Self-Awareness These stories highlight a key lesson: self-awareness is essential for professional growth. Many people unknowingly cultivate a work persona that differs from their authentic selves, creating barriers to connection. Coaching helps clients recognize these patterns and align their leadership style with their values and team needs. Transforming Insights into Action Once clients understand how they are perceived, they can: - Adjust communication styles** to resonate with colleagues - Seek regular feedback** for ongoing alignment - Practice active listening** to build trust - Identify triggers** that impact interactions Final Thoughts Perception shapes workplace success. By developing self-awareness and making intentional changes, professionals can strengthen relationships, enhance leadership, and foster a more engaged team. Coaching provides the tools to bridge the perception gap and drive lasting growth. Do you know how others perceive you? If not, it's time to find out.
**Rewriting the Pattern: How One Shift Changed Her Entire Team Dynamic** *By Riana Malia, Author, Speaker, and Reinvention Strategist | Creator of the Clear to Createtm Method* In my work with high-achieving women, I often hear a version of this: > "I've tried the feedback sessions, the communication training, the personality assessments. Why am I still misunderstood?" That's exactly what my client, a brilliant founder leading a fast-scaling team, shared when we began. Despite her empathy and strategic vision, her team felt hesitant around her. She didn't want to be "softer"--she just wanted to be *received* without walking on eggshells or being dismissed. Our work didn't start with leadership tactics. It started by clearing the deeper pattern. What surfaced was a long-held subconscious belief: > "If I don't take control, everything will fall apart." This pattern--rooted in childhood survival--was shaping her energy, her tone, even her facial expressions in high-pressure moments. She wasn't *choosing* to lead that way. She was *defaulting* to a nervous system wired for vigilance. Using the Clear to Createtm Method, we cleared the root imprint using quantum neural techniques, and rebuilt her internal blueprint for collaboration and trust. She practiced responding from grounded intention, not protective reflex. Her communication softened without sacrificing strength. Her presence shifted. And the result? One of her directors--previously hesitant to speak up--told her, > "It feels like there's room for me to bring more of myself now." That's leadership. We didn't just change her communication style. We changed the *energetic frequency* she was leading from. Because strategy without energetic congruence only creates more friction. But when your internal alignment shifts-- your external relationships can finally thrive. .
One example that stands out is when I worked with a mid-level manager who was struggling with their relationships with senior stakeholders. This client was highly skilled in their area of expertise but had difficulty navigating interpersonal dynamics and influencing key decision-makers. This was impacting their ability to push initiatives forward and get the necessary buy-in for projects. The Coaching Approach: Active Listening and Empathy: First, we focused on improving listening skills. I encouraged the client to listen not just to respond, but to understand the concerns and motivations of their colleagues and stakeholders. By practicing active listening, they began to build stronger rapport and trust. They learned to approach conversations with more empathy, which made them more approachable and easier to work with. Reframing Communication: One strategy I used was teaching them to reframe their communication style. We worked on adjusting how they presented ideas, especially when dealing with more senior stakeholders who valued high-level strategic thinking over tactical details. By using clear, concise language and framing discussions around the stakeholders' goals and priorities, they were able to make their ideas more compelling and relevant. Building Credibility: Another key strategy was to focus on delivering quick wins. I coached them to identify small, low-risk initiatives that could build credibility with stakeholders. These early successes allowed them to demonstrate their value and build trust with decision-makers, making it easier to gain support for larger initiatives later. Managing Conflict: There were also some instances of conflict resolution. We role-played several scenarios where they had to manage disagreements or navigate difficult conversations. Through these exercises, they gained confidence in asserting their ideas while being receptive to others, which helped reduce tension and foster more collaborative relationships. The Result: Over time, the client improved their ability to influence and collaborate with key stakeholders. They received positive feedback from colleagues about their improved communication and more strategic approach. This shift didn't happen overnight, but the client gradually gained more buy-in for their projects and established stronger, more productive relationships with senior leadership.
Certainly! I once worked with a client who struggled with building rapport and trust within her team. She tended to focus heavily on tasks, often overlooking the importance of interpersonal relationships, which strained her interactions with colleagues. To address this, we started by enhancing her active listening skills. This involved practical exercises during our sessions where she would practice summarizing the other person's point of view to ensure she truly understood their perspectives. We also worked on her emotional intelligence by recognizing and appropriately responding to her colleagues' non-verbal cues and emotional states. As we progressed, she began initiating small but significant actions like scheduling regular check-ins with her team members and recognizing their achievements, both publicly and privately. Over time, these efforts fostered a more collaborative and supportive environment within her team. Colleagues who were once distant became more engaged and open, which significantly improved the overall team performance and morale. This shift not only enhanced her professional relationships but also contributed to a marked increase in project success rates. It's a powerful testament to how strategic relationship-building within a team can lead to substantial positive changes in a work environment.