What's one approach you take when counseling children through grief that differs from your work with adults? How do you adapt your methods for different developmental stages?

The biggest difference when counseling children through grief is that I must speak their language, which is the language of play and action, not just words. While adults often process grief by talking about their feelings, children process grief by doing things with their feelings. My approach, therefore, is to help them externalize their grief—to get the memories and emotions out of their heads and into a tangible form they can see, touch, and interact with. How I adapt this depends entirely on their developmental stage. For very young children, who are concrete thinkers, I might guide them in creating a physical "memory box." We'll decorate a shoebox and I'll help them fill it with sensory items that represent their loved one—a photo, a piece of their favorite candy, a swatch of a shirt that holds their scent. This makes the abstract concept of memory something real they can hold onto. As children get older, the projects evolve. For a school-aged child, I might help them create a comic book or a short story that captures their favorite memories, giving them a sense of narrative control. For a teenager who is grappling with identity, I might guide them in working on a "legacy project." This shifts the focus from remembering the past to carrying the person's values into the future—like planning a small fundraiser for a cause they cared about. In all cases, the goal is the same: to make grief an active process, not a passive state.

When counselling children through grief, it's crucial to adapt your approach to their developmental stage, as their understanding of loss changes with age and development. For younger children, I often use play, sand, drawing, and storytelling, since these creative tools allow them to express feelings they can't yet put into words. School-age children may need concrete explanations and reassurance, so I encourage open questions while helping them make sense of the permanence of death. With adolescents, I focus on giving space for reflection and dialogue, although play may still be part of this work. No matter the stage, I emphasise building trust, creating safety, and offering age-appropriate ways to process emotions.

With adults, I often rely on verbal processing and encourage talking through loss, exploring meaning, and reflecting on feelings and behaviors. Conversely, with children, I shift toward play, art, and symbolic expression. Children and adolescence may often lack the ability to articulate grief and other emotions, so giving them developmentally appropriate resources allows them to externalize feelings in a safe, less intimidating way. For children in early childhood (ages 3-6), it's beneficial to use concrete language to reduce confusion, for example "Grandpa died" instead of "Grandpa passed away". Keeping sessions short and structured, with repetition and activities can help them express their feelings and build understanding. For children in middle childhood (ages 7-12), art and play begins to blend with more conversation since they understand more concepts, such as the permanence of death. It's encouraged to normalize their feelings and introduce age-appropriate coping skills, like art, journaling, and memory boxes. Also, consistency at home can help be accomplished by involving their family members. In adolescence (ages 13-18), it's possible to have more adult discussions while encouraging their identity, autonomy and peer influence. It's important to offer safe spaces for private expression of their emotions while balancing independence with connection and emphasizing trust and confidentiality. With children, we must meet them at their developmental level by using concrete but creative methods, while with adults, we can rely more on dialogue and relationships. Ultimately, the goal across all ages is the same, which is to provide safe, appropriate ways to process grief, express emotion, and build resilience.

What's one approach you take when counseling children through grief that differs from your work with adults? With children, I rely much more on play, art, and storytelling. These give them a safe way to express feelings they often don't have the words for. Adults tend to process through direct conversation, but kids usually need something more concrete and creative to help them make sense of loss. How do you adapt your methods for different developmental stages? For younger kids, I keep things simple and use games, drawings, or routines to help them feel safe and supported. School-aged children can handle more structured conversations, so I help them label emotions and learn coping skills. With teens, I treat them more like adults—listening openly, respecting their independence, and giving them space to talk honestly about their grief.

What a great question! So often, parents think that in order for therapy to be effective that it will involve a lot of talking and processing of feelings. Interestingly, children process much differently than adults or even teens. They need much less discussion and often benefit from sessions that are not as focused on talking, but more focused on expressing in other ways such as art, other creative activities, movement, and play. There is no "right" way to grieve, so in grief therapy with children, our team of therapists at my office focus on supporting each client individually in ways that they benefit from most. That way each client is receiving exactly the tailored support that they need in order to thrive even in the most challenging times.

When counseling children through grief, I utilize projective interventions such as play therapy, drawing exercises, and music selection rather than the talk-based approaches typically used with adults. These creative methods allow children to express complex emotions without being limited by their developing vocabulary or feeling judged for their feelings. I find that younger children particularly benefit from play-based interventions, while adolescents often connect more with music or art therapy as these mediums align with their emerging identity and self-expression capabilities. This developmental consideration is crucial when designing appropriate therapeutic interventions for young people experiencing loss.

When you're counseling children through grief, you can't just sit them down and have a conversation like you would with an adult. Children don't have the words to express their feelings, but the grief is still there. My approach is to give them a different language to communicate what they're feeling, whether it's the loss of a parent to addiction or any other kind of loss. The main difference is that with children, we don't just talk; we create. We use play and art therapy to help them process their grief. For a young child, it might be having them draw a picture of their feelings or acting out a story with a toy. For a teenager, it might be writing in a journal or creating a song. The key is to give them a tool to express what they can't put into words. We adapt our methods to their developmental stage. For a very young child, it's about giving them a safe space to play. For an older child, it's about giving them a sense of control over their narrative. The goal is to meet the child where they are and to help them find a way to honor their grief in a way that feels natural for them. My advice is simple: the most effective way to help a child heal from grief is to give them a safe space to do it in a way that feels natural for them. A business that truly wants to help people must be willing to meet them where they are.

When working with children around grief, our focus is more on play, art and narrative to enable them to express emotions they can't yet put into words, while for adults it's more about conversation and reflection; we also adapt for developmental stages by using simpler language and shorter sessions for younger kids, building discussions that go deeper with age and coping abilities in mind so that each learners feels safe and understood at their level.

Counseling children through grief necessitates a distinct approach due to their developmental differences in processing emotions. Creative and play-based activities are effective, as children often express feelings better through play than words. Unlike adults, who may benefit from structured discussions, children thrive in interactive methods such as art, storytelling, or role-play, providing a safe outlet for their emotions.