Founding Attorney and Mediator at San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law
Answered 8 months ago
One of the best ways to break an impasse in mediation is to reframe the conversation and shift the focus from conflicting positions to shared interests. When couples get stuck, it's often because they're locked into their individual demands rather than looking at the bigger picture-what they truly need to move forward. I guide clients through this by asking thoughtful, open-ended questions that encourage reflection, such as, "What would make you feel secure moving forward?" or "How will this decision impact your children in five years?" These questions help de-escalate tension and redirect the discussion toward solutions that work for both parties. By shifting the focus from past conflicts to future goals, I help clients see common ground they may not have recognized before. This approach keeps the process productive, allowing couples to move past roadblocks and reach fair, lasting agreements.
I made good experience with using the dialogue technique after Michael Lukas Moller, where the participants talk about themselves as monologue in a switching cycle. This raises understanding for the needs of the participants, enablig further dialogue. Source: https://www.vandenhoeck-ruprecht-verlage.com/media/pdf/c6/01/91/drimalla_amor_altert_nicht_downloadmaterial_113112.pdf
I find that reframing the conversation is one of the most effective techniques for breaking an impasse in a mediation session. When things get stuck, I like to shift the focus from entrenched positions to the underlying interests of the parties. I often ask questions like, "What are you really hoping to achieve here?" which encourages everyone to think beyond their initial stances. This simple change in perspective can reveal shared goals or common ground that wasn't obvious before. Taking a short break when emotions run high can help reset the conversation and allow people to return with fresh insights. Overall, this approach not only diffuses tension but also opens the door to creative solutions that might have been overlooked initially.
As the owner of Remote Ops Solutions and with my training as a lawyer, one of the most effective techniques I use to break an impasse in mediation is reframing the issue. By shifting the focus from positions to interests, I help parties see the bigger picture and uncover shared goals. Active listening also plays a key role-I make sure each party feels heard, which often lowers tension and opens the door to compromise. Finally, I use creative problem-solving to present win-win solutions that align with both sides' priorities while moving the conversation forward.