I’m working on an article about the emotional challenges people face when decluttering or downsizing, especially during big life changes like retirement, empty nesting, or losing a partner. If you’re a therapist, counselor, or mental health professional and would like to share your thoughts, please answer these questions: - Why is it so hard for people to let go of their things, especially during big life changes? - What can help someone deal with the difficult feelings that come up when they’re downsizing or decluttering? - How can people approach downsizing in a way that feels gentler and less stressful, while still moving forward?

When it comes to understanding why people struggle to let go of their things during big life changes, I've often seen that this challenge is deeply rooted in emotion and identity. Our belongings frequently represent memories, relationships, or even aspirations we've held onto over the years. For instance, holding onto an old keepsake might feel like preserving a connection to a loved one or a pivotal moment in our lives. However, this emotional attachment can make it difficult to separate the object itself from the meaning we assign to it. Recognizing that the value resides in the memory not the item is a crucial first step toward letting go. It's about honoring the past without feeling tethered to it.

One reason it's so hard to let go of things during major life transitions is because our belongings often carry emotional weight, they represent memories, relationships, even parts of our identity. In moments like retirement or the loss of a partner, people are already grieving, and letting go of items can feel like a second loss. What helps is creating space for both the grief and the growth. I often encourage clients to pause and honor the story behind each item, what it meant, and what it represented, before deciding its place in their future. Downsizing doesn't have to be all-or-nothing. Approaching it with compassion, like setting gentle limits or involving a supportive friend or therapist, can turn it into a healing process rather than a painful one. It's not just about clearing space, it's about making room for what's next.

As a somatic therapist who works with midlife transitions, I've noticed that our bodies hold onto possessions as extensions of our nervous system's need for safety and identity. When clients face major life changes like empty nesting or retirement, their body literally interprets letting go of belongings as losing pieces of themselves. I had a client who couldn't pack up her adult daughter's childhood room because her nervous system was stuck in "mother mode"—the physical space represented her primary identity for decades. We worked somatically to help her body recognize that she was still a mother even without the physical reminders. The key is working with your body's responses, not against them. I teach clients to notice physical sensations when handling items—tightness in the chest, shallow breathing, or stomach tension are all signals that your nervous system is activated. Taking breaks to feel your feet on the ground or wrapping yourself in a blanket can help your body feel secure enough to continue. Start with items that create the least body tension first. Your nervous system needs repeated experiences of "I can let go and still be safe" before it will allow you to release more meaningful possessions.

1. Big life changes can mean leaving behind a part of your life that's familiar. This transition can be very challenging no matter what the circumstances. Your day to day routines, the things you need around you and the way you use your home might all be undergoing a huge transformation and wrapping your head around that doesn't come easy, especially if you're finding it difficult to really visualise how you'll function in your new life. This can make the process of letting go of things very difficult. 2. Support during the decluttering process is crucial, but often close family members or friends are not the best people to help. The best support always comes from someone who can remain objective, but understanding, and isn't at risk of letting their own agenda or emotions derail the process. Understanding the size of the project they face when it comes to decluttering is also important. Too often people leap in and try to take on far too much too quickly because they don't understand how physically and mentally tiring it can be to sort through all of your things. Taking the time to assess what needs doing before you start, so you can be realistic about what it involves and what help you might need will always be beneficial. Doing this with plenty of time in hand means you're much less likely to suffer from those feelings of overwhelm and anxiety as your deadline gets closer. 3. Look at it as a positive step. We avoid using the term "decluttering" because it feels dismissive of the things you own. Yes, some things will hold no value to you, but others will, but you'll need to get rid of them anyway. Viewing the experience as an "editing" process is much more positive. Don't look at it in terms of what you need to get rid of, look at it as what are the things you really want to bring with you into your new home. Declutter little by little and allow plenty of time. Working through a lifetime of things takes time and rushing the process becomes stressful and overwhelming. It's much better to do this over the course of several months, working through each room or category of things a drawer at a time. Get help. Whether it's a professional or a non-judgemental, supportive friend, having someone to keep things on track and keep you company is a huge help. Whether they're just running things to goodwill for you, or getting stuck into the nitty gritty of the decluttering, an extra pair of hands and someone to chat to makes the whole process a lot easier.

Good Day, Let go of things at big life transitions which are retirement, becoming an empty nest, or loss of a partner we do this because our stuff is very emotional. It's a piece of who we were, of the people we loved, and the roles we played. Thus when we are asked to let go of it, it feels like we are losing a part of ourselves or saying good bye again. What I have found to be helpful is to slow down and allow space for those feelings. Talk about the memories behind certain items. Take photos, write notes about them, or pass them along to someone who will value them. These small rituals ease the process and give a sense of closure. Instead of what should I get rid of? Try what truly is of value to me now? That change in thought process helps to make decisions from a place of clarity not pressure. Decluttering is about more than just creating space it is also about honoring your past as you make room for the life you are present in. If you decide to use this quote, I'd love to stay connected! Feel free to reach me at gregorygasic@vmedx.com and outreach@vmedx.com.

While I am not a therapist, working in the self-storage industry gives us unique insight into the emotional challenges people face when decluttering or downsizing, especially during major life transitions. We regularly work with customers going through retirement, the loss of a partner, or the shift to an empty nest, and it is clear that the process involves far more than just moving things; it is often about navigating grief, change, and identity. It is hard to let go of belongings during these times because objects carry emotional weight. They represent memories, milestones, and sometimes even a person's sense of self. When everything else feels uncertain, physical items can become anchors. Letting them go may feel like letting go of the past or losing a connection to someone who is no longer there. What helps many people is permitting themselves to take the process slowly. Temporary self storage can offer a practical buffer. It allows people to clear space in their homes without feeling forced to make permanent decisions. That sense of flexibility often brings emotional relief, making it easier to sort through belongings with a clear head and at a manageable pace. To approach downsizing in a gentler way, it is important to set small goals, focus on one category at a time, and create rituals around letting go. Whether that means taking photos of items, journaling memories, or passing things on to family, these steps help people feel like they are preserving meaning, not just getting rid of stuff. Downsizing is easier when framed not as losing part of a life, but as making space for a new chapter.

The inner conflict of downsizing is the fear of forgetting that to let go means to forget. When retired or after a loss, people experience a crisis of meaning. What then? What now? The past is safer; our belongings enable us to remain there. What they require to get ahead is a change. Downsizing is a way of re-scripting your life history, drawing back from what no longer serves you to make space for what truly matters. It can be made easier by a therapist by helping you write a new script that honors loss but opens up space for meaning, rebirth, and expansion. Keep your eye on the life you are building, and not just on what you are letting go of. Go through the process in whatever way is right for you. Establish definite boundaries and keep hold of what holds real meaning, without the need to keep everything linked to your past.

People find it hard to let go of things because they feel like they are physically letting go of a part of themselves. People use objects of visual reminders, so naturally there is the fear of forgetting. As a mental health counselor, I often help my clients process the grief that comes with change. When downsizing or decluttering, you are quite literally mourning the loss of physical objects. You are also mourning the loss of a previous home- a place of comfort and safety. To make the process feel more gentle, I help my clients visualize how they can recreate their safe space by focusing on their values and not so much on the physical items. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches people how to use their core values to create a more fulfilling and meaningful life. ACT is a helpful therapeutic approach to encourage change.

Why is it so hard for people to let go of their things, especially during big life changes? Our stuff becomes an anchor when everything else feels uncertain because we were never taught how to adapt to major life changes. When someone's retiring, losing a partner, or becoming an empty nester, their belongings represent who they were, who they are, and sometimes who they hoped to be. The greatest barrier to transitional change is ourselves. People focus on recreating the past, but that's a fallacy because you can't go backwards. Objects give us a sense of control when life feels out of control, but when holding onto the past becomes your majority focus, transitions can't succeed. --What can help someone deal with the difficult feelings that come up when they're downsizing or decluttering? I teach clients to scale their thoughts between productive and non-productive and to not engage with non-productive mentalities. You are what you think, and when you focus on what's lost, your life becomes that loss. The key is reframing: instead of getting rid of things, we talk about making space for what's next. It's much easier to build a new life when you're not hyper focused on the one you lost. In my experience, the lives people build after transitions are often greater than what they had before, but only when they participate in life rather than judging it. --How can people approach downsizing in a way that feels gentler and less stressful, while still moving forward? I give all my clients in transition one assignment: when given an opportunity with potential for positivity like a party invitation or a chance to network, say yes unless you have a valid reason based in reality, not fear. The more you participate in the new, the faster you build a life you'll likely prefer to the old. Remember your why and connect to your values and vision for the future to see which possessions support that vision. But most importantly, be easy on yourself. There's no room for shame in this process. Focus on forward progression through simple tasks, one after another, and before you know it, a new life will be built.