Child, Adolescent & Adult Psychiatrist | Founder at ACES Psychiatry, Winter Garden, Florida
Answered 4 months ago
Hi, Please find my concise responses for your article below: 1) Where does the issue lie if a young child falls in with a bad crowd? It is rarely just about being "rebellious"; it is almost always a search for belonging. Adolescents are naturally trying to separate from parents to find their own identity. If they don't feel understood or validated at home, they will seek that acceptance from peers—even negative ones. They aren't just acting out; they are looking for a tribe that accepts them easily. 2) Where does the issue lie if the child becomes more difficult to deal with (anger/violence)? Aggression is usually a sign of a flooded nervous system, not spite. When a child becomes violent, it often means they don't have the verbal tools to express their fear or distress. It is a panic response. They feel out of control internally, so they try to control their environment through force. We view this as a symptom of emotional dysregulation, not just "bad behavior." 3) What would be the most effective approach for a parent? Are punishments viable? Harsh punishment often fails here because it turns the parent into an adversary. You cannot punish a child into emotional regulation. I recommend a "connect before you correct" approach: validate their feelings to lower the emotional temperature first, then apply logical consequences later when they are calm. If safety is at risk, stop trying to discipline at home and get professional help immediately. Bio: Name: Dr. Ishdeep Narang, MD Title: Dual Board-Certified Psychiatrist (Child, Adolescent, and Adult) Company: Founder, ACES Psychiatry Bio Link: https://www.acespsychiatry.com/psychiatrist-orlando-dr-narang/ Best regards, Dr. Ishdeep Narang
When people ask me where the issue lies if a young child falls in with a bad crowd or suddenly becomes defiant, I've learned it's rarely just "rebellion" or a single parenting misstep. In my medical and media work, I've seen many families where a child's acting out was the first visible sign of unmet emotional needs, chronic stress at home, or feeling unseen at school. I remember one family I worked with where the child's anger looked like defiance, but it turned out he was masking anxiety and shame after repeated failures in class. Children don't wake up wanting to be difficult; behavior is often communication. When anger turns into spitefulness or even physical aggression, it usually means the child lacks safe tools to regulate overwhelming emotions. When parents ask what to do when things go out of hand, I emphasize that punishment alone is rarely effective and can actually fuel more resentment. The most effective approach is to shift from control to connection—setting firm boundaries while actively listening and addressing what's driving the behavior. I've seen real change when parents replaced harsh consequences with consistent structure, calm consequences, and professional support when needed. Early involvement of a mental health professional can prevent patterns from becoming permanent, especially when safety is a concern. Discipline should teach, not intimidate, and the goal is to help the child feel safe enough to change, not scared enough to comply. Bio link: [https://parthanandi.com/](https://parthanandi.com/)
Hi there, I'm Lachlan Brown, a behavioral psychologist, mindfulness practitioner, and co-founder of The Considered Man. I also speak from personal experience as a father, which impacts how I think about child behavior, emotional regulation, and family dynamics. Here are my insights for Bored Panda: When a young child falls in with a "bad crowd," it's rarely about the crowd alone. From a psychological perspective, children are often seeking belonging, identity, or relief from an unmet emotional need. That doesn't automatically mean poor parenting or a rebellious phase gone wrong. More often, it signals a gap between what the child needs internally and what they're currently able to express. Peer influence becomes powerful when guidance at home feels emotionally unavailable or overly controlling, even if intentions are good. When a child becomes increasingly difficult at home (e.g., showing anger, spitefulness, or even aggression), it's usually a sign of overwhelmed emotional capacity rather than malice. Young nervous systems don't yet have the tools to regulate intense feelings, so distress often comes out sideways. Violence or extreme defiance is a red flag that the child feels unsafe, unheard, or chronically dysregulated. In those cases, focusing only on behavior misses the deeper issue driving it. If things escalate beyond a parent's ability to manage, the most effective approach is to shift from punishment to containment. Consequences can still exist, but punishment alone tends to reinforce fear and shame, which worsen behavior over time. What helps most is restoring safety, structure, and emotional attunement - often with professional support. Therapy, parent coaching, and family-based interventions can help parents respond calmly while still setting firm boundaries. In short, difficult behavior is best understood as communication. When parents address the underlying emotional drivers, they're far more likely to see real, lasting change. Thanks for considering my insights! Cheers, Lachlan Brown Mindfulness Expert | Co-founder, The Considered Man https://theconsideredman.org/
When a young child gravitates toward a negative peer group, it's rarely just one cause. It's usually an interaction between temperament, unmet emotional needs, supervision gaps, and a child's search for belonging, rather than simple rebellion or bad parenting. Children who become increasingly angry or aggressive at home are often signaling stress, insecurity, or a lack of skills to regulate strong emotions, not intentional malice, and this can be intensified by inconsistent boundaries or unresolved family dynamics. When behavior escalates, punishment alone is usually ineffective and can worsen defiance. The most effective approach combines firm, predictable limits with emotional coaching, safety planning, and professional support when needed. Parents should focus on de-escalation, consistent consequences tied to behavior, and teaching coping skills, while addressing underlying triggers through counseling or family therapy if violence appears.
Founder & Medical Director at New York Cosmetic Skin & Laser Surgery Center
Answered 4 months ago
I am not a licensed family therapist. Do not cite me as one. I am a physician. I see patterns. "When a child runs with a bad crowd, it is rarely one cause." Guidance matters. Stress can fuel risk taking. "If anger turns spiteful or violent, I start with safety." Then I look for skill gaps. Poor emotion regulation, trauma, ADHD, and mood disorders can sit underneath. Punishment alone can backfire. Set calm limits. Reward the behavior you want. Get help early, especially with threats or hitting. Parent Child Interaction Therapy is one option.| Bio: https://cosmeticlaserskinsurgery.com/about-us/ A 2025 randomized trial enrolled 50 kids ages 3 to 7. A smartwatch added to PCIT cut mean tantrums to 10.4 minutes vs 22.1 minutes. Parents responded to prompts in 3.65 seconds: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2842819