Every family has financial conflicts – if they didn’t, money wouldn’t be one of the leading causes of divorce! We like to make the discussion of financial priorities part of the new client orientation process. We provide a list of priorities and ask each person to rank their financial priorities in order of importance. By comparing the lists and examining scenarios where the priorities may compete against each other, we can allow the couple to see how pursuing different priorities might affect their financial success, positively or negatively. This allows us to address potential financial conflicts before negative consequences can lead to worse relationship conflict.
This scenario is actually quite common when it comes to retirement planning. I recently had clients where one spouse wanted to purchase a second home and the other wanted to travel instead. I had them independently work on lists of their top priorities over the next 20 years. I then had them come together to see which goals/priorities were common between them and which weren't. After a transparent discussion of their common priorities, a second home became the top goal as it checked multiple boxes for both - getting away, spending time with family, flexibility in scheduling, etc. The compromise was to take a bigger trip every 4 to 5 years to celebrate birthday, anniversary, or other milestones.