First off, breathe, and give yourself some grace. We are all so eager to reinvent the wheel, but when it comes to New Years resolutions small, actionable, and short bursts are the key to success. As humans we are motivated by progress and when you set shorter-term goals that will lead to bigger, long term goals. By having these shorter, more attainable goals you will not only feel more successful, but be able to stick to the goals without feeling so restricted or unfulfilled. And should you fall off the wagon of long or short-term goals, you can always get right back up and start again! One misstep, one missed workout, or slip of your diet will most likely happen, but it's how you come back that matters. So again, take a deep breath, know life happens and start again!
If your fitness resolution isn't going as planned, don't be too tough on yourself-it's more common than you think. A common reason for this failure is staying motivated, especially when you're doing it alone. Without support or accountability, it's easy to lose focus or feel overwhelmed. To pivot, try switching it up. If you're struggling at the gym, try working with a personal trainer who can give you guidance, structure and, encouragement. Trainers can also help you create a program that fits your current lifestyle and goals so your workouts are more doable and enjoyable. Or if the gym isn't convenient or motivating, try online fitness programs. Resolutions don't have to be set in stone. Changing your plan doesn't mean you failed-it means you're growing and adaptable. Whether you change your routine, get help or, try something new, just keep moving and figure it out.
One way would be to club your original resolution with something easy but totally out of the box--for instance, if your goal is to grow your business this year, decide to work on that along with finishing a full course on parkour techniques. Focus more of your energy on the latter in the beginning, and as you make progress, you'll start to believe that if you can do parkour, you can work on your business too. Ultimately, you'll end up making considerably well on both because you'll use your primary success to boost you forward towards your real goal.
Change can be hard! There are several things we can do when a resolution isn't working out. Establishing S.M.A.R.T. goals can be helpful in framing a resolution in more manageable steps. S.M.A.R.T. stands for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. I recommend dedicating time to writing the resolution using a S.M.A.R.T. Goal setting worksheet (many are available for free on Google!) "I want to be healthier this year" is a common new years resolution; applying S (specific) as a first step, you want to specify how you define health-- do you want to lower your cholesterol/LDL levels? do you want better sleep? Making a resolution Measurable is important not only to keep track of the progress, but also in increasing our self-efficacy, because it will give us a morale boost when we are making progress towards the resolution and keep us going. If our resolution is not defined/measured, we can sometimes actually be making progress towards a change and not realize it, then become discouraged and unmotivated to continue. Making a goal Attainable is making sure there are no/little roadblocks; for example, if I want to start running fifteen minutes 3x/week but I don't have running shoes, the first step to making more attainable would be to get the shoes. R (relevant) is also helpful to write down and refer back to when you feel not motivated at times; some questions to consider are "how important is this goal to me? how does this goal help me? what can I expect from meeting this goal?" Lastly, a tip for establishing Time-bound is to chunk each goal setting into smaller units. A new years resolution is often set as a year deadline (e.g. "this year, I'm going to lose 20 lbs.") but it can be helpful to set a SMART goal for smaller chunks (e.g. "By March, I'm going to lose 5 lbs."). This way, you can reassess if the goal to lose 20lbs still makes sense for you, and also, if you do lose 5lbs by March, it's a success under your belt. Another helpful framework to consider is the Stages of Change model (precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance). It is not a linear process i.e. we all revert from action stage (e.g. going to the gym on Jan 1st) to a prior stage (e.g. not going/questioning why). When you find yourself in a contemplation stage (a sign of this is ambivalence towards the goal), it can be helpful to do use a decisional balance sheet, where you asses the costs and benefits of change and not changing.
You know, Mark Twain once said, "The secret of getting ahead is getting started." But maybe our problem isn't with starting - it's with how we start. Or if we start all. Who made up the " new years resolution rule? Who said we need to completely reinvent ourselves every year and in January start all over and be someone else? Life, last I checked, doesn't work in perfect annual cycles. In fact, many of us have trouble getting from week to week. Let's face it , some days or years, you're absolutely crushing it, checking off goals like items on a grocery or huge to do- list. Other years? Just getting out of bed and showing up is your gold medal-star moment. Here's what I've learned: Progress isn't a straight line. Progress looks different for all of us. It's more like a crazy, topsy curvy, looping roller coaster, full of twists, turns ups, downs, and unexpected sudden drops! The real win isn't in achieving perfection - it's in staying on the ride-- and the life journey. The way to pivot is to "lighten up", allow yourself to change and shift and hit the "re-set" button whenever you need to. So here's my invitation to you as get into 2025: Let's celebrate the small wins. Did you drink one glass of water today? Win. Did you learn one new word in French or Spanish? Or not use a four letter word? -- Bueno! That's a win. Did you take three deep breaths before responding to your supervisor's email? That's a win-- The key is to master taking small steps, and some days no steps at all. Live in the present and create as you go!
Clinical Director and Registered Clinical Counsellor at Lotus Therapy
Answered a year ago
The first step in not working New Year's resolutions is re-evaluating with compassion and non-judgment why they are not working. Most of the time, resolutions fall through because they are too general, unrealistic, or there is no plan of action concerning how they shall be carried out. Reflecting on whether the goal aligns with your values at this point in your life is important. It is a great help if the resolution can be reworded to make it more specific, measurable, and achievable. Pivoting can mean completely redefining the resolution or cutting it up into smaller, actionable pieces. For instance, if someone set a resolution to work out every day but now sees that as too ambitious, scaling back to a goal to "move my body for 20 minutes three times a week" can build confidence and consistency. Another is moving from outcome-based goals, such as losing a specific amount of weight, to process-based goals, such as increasing overall fitness or energy levels. This can help alleviate pressure and facilitate progress in the process. Another thing that can help is considering unconventional resolutions. Instead of self-improvement resolutions, one may set resolutions regarding self-compassion, relationships, or emotional well-being-for instance, practicing mindfulness on a regular basis or calling loved ones once a month.
You should shift your mindset and find the reason behind it. People tend to develop goals with too much emphasis on outcomes rather than behaviors. For instance, someone who wants to "run five miles a day" could become frustrated when they get busy or lack motivation. Instead of nailing yourself into a habit, evaluate what's feasible and begin with smaller, flexible goals, such as moving 15 minutes per day - jogging, walking, stretching. Breaking your goals down into manageable bits helps you maintain a bit of routine, and keeps your steps consistent without stressing yourself out. As you move forward, looking for resolutions with the goal of curiosity and pleasure can bring motivation back. So, for example, if you wanted to meditate daily but you find it a pain, you could try other forms of mindfulness, such as guided visualization or bedtime journaling. Making resolutions as experiments, not firm commitments, eases the need to "do it right".
Our New Year's resolutions should be "dietary" rather than "medicinal" - or, put another way, preventative instead of reactive. We take medicine only when we need to fix a problem, but we eat food every single day to keep us going. When it comes to resolutions, we need to chew on the change every day and make it part of what we do every single day. So these resolutions and "deals with the universe" don't have to be huge swings for the fences - they can be simple alterations to things you're already doing. Smaller, more consistent changes keep us healthy so we don't have to go back to the metaphorical medicine cabinet later for a quick fix. One way to pivot from more traditional fitness resolutions: Make your resolutions about the time, not the activity. If your resolution is to do yoga 3 times a week, change it to "I'm going to do something active for 3 hours a week." Life happens, and if we can't make it across town to a yoga class, instead of doing nothing because yoga can't happen, go for a hike or a run or something active in that time slot. Your resolution to do only yoga or pilates may not happen all the time, but if you just commit to moving your body somehow in those time periods, you're going to stay more on track with your commitment. Motion is medicine, period.
When New Year's resolutions aren't supposed to pan out, it usually creates a barrier to your ambition. It continues as such, but here are some thoughts and tips on how to pivot while providing alternative traditional resolutions. Reframe the Goal (Psychological Approach) In some instances, failing to meet a New Year's resolution can be caused by the setting of an unrealistic or too rigid goal. Develop Outcome Goals to Process Goals, rather than saying, "I want to lose 20 pounds," "I will aim to exercise for 30 minutes 3 times a week." Such a goal is easier to achieve and places less pressure on someone. Focus on Little Things Break down large goals into smaller tasks. If your resolution is "to get firmer," a simple step would be taking the stairs rather than the lift or walking every single day for 10 minutes. Be Available for Self-Compassion A lot of people do not meet resolutions because of a negative mindset. Psychologists will propose self-compassion as the next point. Treat yourself with kindness because as setbacks happen, everything happens as part of the process. Pair Activity With Social Support When motivation fails, get a workout buddy, join a group, or hire a trainer. The effect of accountability can help to focus. Adopt the Mantra: 'Progress, Not Perfection' Instead of trying to justify every day as a gym day with: "I'll definitely have to hit the lair daily," it can be more motivating to work toward keeping up with the progress-habit building, instead of dysfunctional quests aiming toward perfection. Missing one or two days and then getting back in the game can be all right. Reassess/redesign your goals (Reflection) Time spent weighing resolutions that do not pan out is really the time to introspect and assess what went wrong, such as: Why is the goal not done? It could be because of an unreal dream, or it simply is not in tune with where you are in life. Liberalize the Resolutions Traditional New Year resolutions tend to be fixed: lose 20 pounds or quit sugar completely. People tend to be disappointed when results are not in a straight line. Make your resolutions flexible, more specifically, "I want to feel healthier in 2025". This leads to mindset changes in routines and habits.
New Year's resolutions are tough! We start off with the best intentions and then-ALAS-life! These resolutions come from a great place-a desire to better ourselves in some capacity! But sometimes, when it comes to a resolution, we start off with a goal that is much larger than where we are at in our lives right now. When we struggle to reach that goal, we are met with disappointment and sometimes even negative beliefs like "I failed" or "Why bother?" Dear Reader, your goals are too good, you are too good, to get stuck like that! The simplest trick is to set a smaller, more manageable goal that can gradually increase over time. For example- if your New Year's resolution was to run a mile every day, but you currently weren't even going for a walk... this was likely too big of a jump. Maybe start with something more manageable like, "I will go for a 2-minute walk on my lunch break, 3 days a week." After a few weeks, if you're doing well, you can increase to a 10-minute walk, 3 days a week. Slowly but surely you will work your way up to that mile-a-day goal! Next, if you fall off, just start again. The other reason people struggle with New Year's resolutions is at the first sign of waiver, we subscribe to the belief that we have to do it perfectly. And if it's not perfect, then we shouldn't do it at all. Remember that if you miss a day, if you mess up, give yourself grace and try again! This is the key to changing our habits and lifestyles and accomplishing our goals! You can also consider following a framework by setting a "SMART" goal: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely. Using these strategies will help you continue making progress on that amazing desire that drove you to set your New Year's Resolution in the first place! Cheering for you!
A resolution, or declared intention, is only as good as the goal it maps to. The benefit of stating a resolution is the extra motivation boost from the initial support and accountability when someone shares his or her intention publicly. Bringing the resolution to life moves to goal-setting and a few key parameters that may inform a needed pivot: 1. The brain can only handle 1-2 goals at a time. 2. Use the SMARTER goal framework (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-limited, Evaluated, Reviewed) 3. Pivot sooner than later, as soon as you realize the plan isn't working 4. Recognize that the process of setting the goal counts and that setbacks are natural and expected resilience-builders on the journey 5. Ask for and keep using your support system. If you don't have one of these, start there- it's a resolution success essential!
Studies show that the older you are the less likely you are to set a New Years Resolution. I have to wonder if that's because people who have set them in the past, never followed through, and eventually decided it wasn't worth setting another one. New Years can be a great time to have a "fresh start feeling" but there has to be a realistic expectation. When someone's resolutions are "fizzling out" we need to dig deeper and find out why. Why did they want to make a change in the first place? Was it something that "sounded good" or something they truly wanted to do/change. Go back and make a list of why this change will positively impact your life and include who else will also be impacted (often we will make changes for others before we will make changes for ourselves). Having a written "why" & referring back to it often can make a difference when it comes to sticking with change. Next, I would examine the habits that will support or destroy the desired resolution. (Ex: you have a resolution to stop drinking alcohol everyday but continue to go to happy hour with your coworkers everyday after work). A simple shift in routine or habit (choosing to go two times a week instead of five, or only bringing cash with enough money for a soda instead of a cocktail) can make a difference. And finally, I would look at the actions necessary to stick to the resolution and put a specific plan in place. (Ex: you want to write a book this year, but have you actually time blocked time into your calendar to write or are you planning on writing a book when your "get to it?") Resolutions succeed or fail because of mindset and habits. When we dive deeper into these two areas we can determine what the "weak link" is and make appropriate adjustments to reset ourselves up for success.
As a psychologist, my first advice is: Don't make New Year's resolutions. Instead, set achievable goals year-round. The New Year often acts as a gratuitous mandate to make change-like receiving permission to improve yourself. But you don't need permission. You have it anytime, including right now. New Year's resolutions fail because they're typically too ambitious and vague. Goals like "lose weight," "learn Spanish," or "get married" are ideals, not plans. They lack specific steps, timelines, and an acknowledgment of the challenges involved. Change involves discomfort. You'll need to accept that exercising and eating less will feel hard. You might study Spanish and travel to Mexico, only to understand nothing. You'll suffer through bad dates and tough relationships on the way to finding a partner. The process matters more than the resolution itself. Focus on small, realistic steps in the direction of your ideal. Accept that setbacks, pain, and slow progress are part of the journey. Move toward the goal, and give yourself the grace to adjust your approach as you go. Real change isn't tied to January 1, it's tied to your commitment. -- Dr. Adam Goulston, PsyD, MBA, is a US-born, Japan-based entrepreneur and a Doctor in Human & Organizational Psychology. His company, MacroLingo (https://macrolingo.com), applies psychological know-how to help global businesses and researchers communicate their innovations with sensitivity and a deep-felt need to help society.