One unique challenge I've encountered in marriage counseling is people feeling discouraged and catastrophic when they have a big fight after they start working on their relationship. How I address it as a therapist is to introduce the idea of change happening in a non-linear fashion. I often use the example of a baby learning to walk to illustrate the point. No baby learns to walk overnight. More often, what you'll see is that babies will oscillate between two behaviors, crawling and walking in a period of time, with different frequencies until walking becomes the new norm. This non-linear perspective on change helps people understand that setbacks are not the opposite of the change; they are a part of the change.
Founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching at Growing Self Counseling & Coaching
Answered 2 years ago
Taking responsibility for oneself is always the biggest challenge in marriage counseling. It's very easy for all of us to blame our partners for the issues, and think about how much better things would be if THEY changed. But it's much harder for all of us to recognize how our way of being may be impacting others. When we are doing a better job of being loving and lovable ourselves, we will get better results in our relationships. That's hard to take on board, but when people finally get it and start taking responsibility, amazing things can happen in a marriage!