Mental health professionals, what's one piece of advice you give to clients struggling with self-esteem, and why do you believe it's effective?

Great question! I think the most prevalent misconception that I hear about self-esteem and self-love is that it's a feeling. As in, you have warm, positive feelings about yourself if you have healthy self-esteem. In reality, loving yourself is a choice, just like loving other people is a choice. It's about what you choose to do. You can love yourself by taking good care of your body, by being patient and compassionate towards yourself, rather than beating yourself up for mistakes, by doing things that make you happy. It's also about challenging yourself. Just like a parent's responsibility is to help their children grow and develop — because they love them — it's your responsibility to facilitate your own personal growth. Giving yourself the opportunity to try things, fail, improve, and try again is a profoundly loving act, and one that builds healthy self-esteem. And interestingly, the positive feelings will follow. --- I hope that's enough for you to go on! Let me know if you have any questions for me. Sincerely, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

If you are struggling with low-self esteem, trust there is a part of you in there that deserves to be loved exactly as you are. I would advise to gnetly challenge the inner critic in your head, by asking, is this true? is it helpful? is it kind? it is likley not, and you do not have to live that way. We are not here just to suffer but to experience the triumph from the suffering. Challenge your mean thoughts, go for it. Then work towards accepting that on some level, they aren't even YOUR thoughts, they are programming. Cultivate compassion for your inner child that had to hear those harsh words and internalized negative messages. Admit there may be a payoff to the low-self esteem, then work towards letting that go, to make room for more adaptive thoughts like, "I'm doing my best," "i'm a human being," "I am here to learn, and grow," etc. Kids don't deserve to think poorly of themselves, and neither do you. You are inherently worthy of love because you are love. I also advise to write down your thoughts...get that poison out of your head, you don't need to hold it anymore, its heavy. Be free, healing yourself heals others. Take care!

Our self-esteem “score” affects our ability to trust others appropriately, as well as the quality of our decision making. The ability to bring things out into the light and not hide our faults, scars, and weaknesses reflects our true self-esteem. Trust issues are also a reflection of our self-esteem. We don’t want to become too trusting nor too suspicious. You can be respectful of someone, but still choose not to trust them; the healthier your trust is, the higher your self-esteem. Lastly, our ability to forgive others and move on shows us that self-esteem is going in a positive direction. Choose to forgive, pray, and then move on.

When considering esteem, one must understand and consider that one's esteem is a multi-layered concept: Self-Worth, Self-Esteem, Self-Concept. Self-worth is what we BELIEVE about ourselves; Self-esteem is how we FEEL about ourselves; and, Self-concept is how we VIEW ourselves. Healing unresolved wounds or other issues at the core level of Self-worth will subsequently address and enhance Self-esteem and Self-concept. Heal and be well.

When you're struggling with low self-esteem, one powerful technique is to practice receptive curiosity towards the specific thoughts you're noticing. Instead of automatically believing the harsh self-judgments that pop into your mind, approach them with curiosity. What we think of as low self-esteem is really just a collection of individual thoughts, feelings, and sensations. You can simply observe, 'There's a thought calling me inadequate' or 'Here's that familiar voice of self-criticism again.' Allow the thought to arise without fighting it, and watch as it naturally loses power and fades away. This is what practicing mindfulness looks like. You create an open space to witness the thoughts, rather than fusing with them as reality. This mindful detachment can dissolve the grip of self-defeating mental loops over time.

What are three things you love about yourself? If you're not sure how to answer that question, try this: ask someone who loves you instead! Consider reaching out to a family member, partner, or close friend. Try saying something like, "I've been feeling down lately and am looking for some support to improve my mood. I'm reaching out to you because you're an important person in my life. Would you please share some things you love about me?" Write down their responses so you can revisit them anytime you need a boost. You've got this!

As a Registered Counsellor I have worked with many clients that battle with self-image and confidence. One of the most effective tools when working with clients is setting up short-term action-based goals. More often than not, people with low self-esteem are focussed on the big picture and struggle to acknowledge the reality of their daily lives, therefore not acknowledging the small wins. Setting up mini goals that are achievable gives them tangible evidence of progress within their daily lives. This realization of seeing their capabilities, whether it be in their personal lives or career, usually sparks a chain reaction to start building their self-esteem up again.

One piece of advice that I give to clients who struggle with self-esteem is to consider their self-talk from a different perspective. For example, a client might present to me following a bad break-up wherein she feels as if she "should have known better" or "could have been more assertive but did not feel confident enough to do so". I often encourage the client to consider how they would advise a close friend who was in a similar scenario. It's remarkable but relatively consistent that most people are much kinder in their approach and much more considerate of the extenuating circumstances when they're not the subject of the "crisis". Moreover, people with self-esteem challenges tend to be willing and able to extend grace and compassion to others in a way that is more difficult when done to self, so this intervention allows them to consider themselves from a friend's perspective. And when you think about it, the longest relationship you'll ever have in life is with yourself, so why shouldn't you speak to yourself like a friend?

In building strong self-esteem and self-confidence, it is important for you to “come home to yourself.” “Coming home to yourself” is re-discovering the connection to your body. There is true power in body-based approaches with fostering self-compassion and confidence. Somatic Therapy hones in on body sensations, movement, posture and alignment, and the nervous system to help one recognize the true wisdom and compassion that are rooted in bodily intelligence. This naturally helps individuals blossom into self-love, acceptance, confidence, and positive self-esteem. Many mental health concerns stem from a lack of connection to ourselves and self-empowerment. In today's society, we are moving at such a fast pace that we are disconnected from our bodies. We are taking in thousands of advertisements, information, and news, that leads us to overwhelming feelings of dread, comparison, and stress. Some examples of putting this in action are: doing a body scan meditation, practicing yoga, going a guided visualization, or even grounding outside and taking in your senses and surroundings. I believe that by turning inward and focusing on your body's story and innate intelligence that we can find presence and love from within that can significantly improve every aspect of our lives.

I often recommend journaling to clients who are struggling with self-esteem. I believe it can be extremely beneficial because it provides a powerful outlet for emotions and allows for reflection on personal feelings, growth, and perspective. By putting our thoughts and feelings on paper, we can gain a better understanding of why we feel the way we do. This self-awareness can help us make more informed decisions that are in line with our true selves, ultimately boosting our self-esteem and overall well-being. Journaling helps us process our emotions, uncover patterns in our thinking, and deepen our self-awareness, which can be empowering on our path to self-acceptance and self-love.

When working with self-esteem challenges, I encourage my clients to "check the source." Often our criticisms and negative-self talk did not originate from us, but rather are messages we have received from other people in our lives. By checking the source, we get to ask ourselves- "Is this source trustworthy?" We often find the sources are not ourselves and not sources that we wish to trust or believe on a topic as important as ourselves and our worthiness. This allows us to shake free of old narratives that don't suit us and begin to create our own story about ourselves and our abilities.

One actionable advice is to challenge negative self-talk by questioning its validity. Encourage clients to ask themselves if there's evidence supporting their self-critical thoughts. By fostering a habit of critical examination, clients learn to distinguish between distorted perceptions and reality. This promotes self-awareness and empowers them to cultivate a more balanced self-view. Through practice, they can gradually replace self-deprecating beliefs with more accurate and compassionate perspectives, enhancing self-esteem. This approach draws on cognitive-behavioral techniques, proven effective in reshaping thought patterns and promoting psychological well-being.

One of the most effective pieces of advice that I can give my clients that are struggling with self-esteem issues is to use the "superman effect". This would be adding one piece of clothing that changes who you are and that person is more confident. A piece of clothing could be anything like glasses. Everytime you put those Glasses on before a presentation or meeting, you are associated with someone who is strong and confident. There is research to support this as well