As the founder of an Event Planning business and mom of two, I've realized the holidays (and honestly, life in general) come with way too many expectations — most of them placed on moms. Somewhere along the way we decided we have to do everything perfectly: the tidy house, the coordinated outfits, the magical traditions, the spotless kitchen, the flawless schedule... and then we wonder why we're so exhausted before New Year's Eve even roles around. This year, I finally said it out loud: My New Year's resolution is letting go of CONTROL. Not the healthy kind of control — the unrealistic, impossible, "I need to personally manage every detail or everything will fall apart" kind. The type of control that keeps me in a constant state of pressure and performance. The type that whispers, "If you don't handle it yourself, it won't be done right." I'm over it. Letting go of control doesn't mean chaos. It means freedom. It means trusting that not everything needs to be perfect to be beautiful. It means: Letting the house look lived-in instead of obsessively photo-ready. Letting simple traditions replace the complicated ones that secretly stress me out. Letting go of being the default planner, scheduler, fixer, and emotional thermostat for everyone. I've spent so many years automatically stepping into the "I'll do it" role — at home, at work, at events, everywhere. Owning a business trained me to take charge. Motherhood trained me to anticipate needs before anyone speaks them. But somewhere in that mix, I took on things no one ever asked me to carry. Control can feel like safety (trust me, I'm an Event Planner by profession) but it can also become a cage. And I'm choosing to step out of it. This year, I want to enjoy moments instead of orchestrating every detail of them. I want to leave space for spontaneity. I want to let other people show up for me, not just the other way around. I want to let my kids remind me what actual joy looks like — imperfect, messy, loud, real. So that's my gentler, kinder resolution: To release control, and make room for more peace, more joy, and more presence. Because life — especially mom life — was never meant to be lived on a tight, color-coded timeline. And honestly? The less I try to control everything, the more magical everything seems to become. Shumaila Panhwar, mom of two, Los Angeles, CA, SoCal Event Planners LLC
Toxic body image standards- women across the world should absolutely let go of toxic body image standards this holiday season and beyond. Healing our relationships with our bodies helps women to enjoy the holidays more fully and stress less. Negative self-talk- look, nobody is perfect. As an imperfect human who is bound to be flawed, it's time to let go of the inner voice that says you're just not good enough. Focus on reframing your perspective to nurture a more positive inner dialogue. The weight of others' opinions- because yours is the only one that really matters. Whether it's the critical mother in law that thinks your tree is a little too short, the aunt who always has an opinion on your wardrobe choices, or the coworkers that seem to have it all together. Cultivating a strong sense of self can help us put the opinions of others where they belong... after our own. I can provide photos if you are in need. Thank you!
1. Picture-perfect gift wrapping Replace with: Use kraft paper or reusable gift bags. Make them more decorative by letting your kids draw on the outside. 2. Endless shopping for gifts Replace with: Instead of more stuff the kids will quickly forget about, opt for something simple they'll actually use and appreciate, like food, experiences, or cozy basics. 3. Daily Elf-on-the-Shelf madness Replace with: A simple tradition like reading a holiday story a few nights a week. 4. School activities overload Replace with: Pick the most important event for your family for the holiday season and let go of the rest. Melissa Catena founder, Playgrounds List (playgroundslist.com) mom of two in Lafayette, California
This season, let go of measuring your success by output and the pressure to over-schedule. While building Aitherapy, I learned that chasing productivity cost me quiet moments with loved ones. Replace the packed calendar with clear mental boundaries and time to truly unplug. Choose simple, unhurried moments over elaborate plans, and let "good enough" be enough. You'll protect your creativity and empathy while making space for what matters most. Jane L., mom of two in Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Christmas is a special time for family, but it's the kids who are enjoying it the most. When I first became a parent, I had such fond memories of Christmas that I did my best, year after year, to recreate that magic for my son and create some new family traditions. But the thing is, no one prepares you for how stressful that can be, so while everyone else is enjoying the magic, you're running around behind the scenes making sure everything's perfect. There were times when I felt more exhausted after the holidays than before. One thing I've learned over the years is not to stress too much about presents, and definitely don't buy too many of them for your kids. Instead, focus more on spending quality time with your family and make sure your kids remember you laughing with them under the Christmas tree, not nervously pacing from one room to the other trying to hold everything together. I'm sure that, when you look back on your own childhood Christmas memories, those are the fondest ones that come first.
I stopped trying to make our holidays perfect and everything got better. The eye-rolls, the forgotten ingredients, the arguments over board games, that's the real stuff. Once I let go of the picture-perfect idea, we all relaxed and actually enjoyed each other's company. Those messy moments are what we remember, not the flawless dinners.
Parents are encouraged to relinquish unrealistic expectations, such as perfectly posed photographs, coordinated attire, and excessive scheduling. Instead, prioritizing candid interactions, authentic decision-making, and purposeful rest is recommended. Avoiding the tendency to compare and the fear of missing out can be achieved by cultivating gratitude. Streamlining event planning, discontinuing traditions that lack personal significance, and embracing comfortable imperfection within the home environment are also advised. Adopting sustainable goals, combining store-bought and homemade elements, and establishing boundaries by declining unnecessary commitments can further support well-being. Releasing the expectation to quickly recover after holidays and recognizing the importance of rest are essential. Collectively, these adjustments enable parents to foster greater joy and authenticity, thereby enhancing the overall quality of family life throughout the year.
**Jennifer Rapchak, mom of two in Alexandria, Virginia** I've been in the fitness industry for 14+ years, and I work with hundreds of moms every week who are juggling kids, careers, and self-care. One thing I constantly see? Moms sacrificing their own health because they think they need to be "perfect" in every other area first. Here's what I think moms should let go of: **The "perfect workout routine" expectation.** You don't need a flawless 60-minute session five days a week. Replace it with showing up for 20-30 minutes when you can--even if your kids are in the Kids Club at the gym or doing homework nearby. Progress beats perfection every time. **The guilt around asking for help.** At Results Fitness, we have on-site childcare for kids as young as 3 weeks old, and moms still apologize for using it. Stop. Replace that guilt with the understanding that taking care of yourself makes you a better parent. I see it happen constantly--moms who start working out consistently have more energy, patience, and confidence at home. **Trying to "bounce back" after the holidays.** Every January, I watch parents set punishing resolutions that crash by February. Replace extreme goals with small, sustainable habits--like strength training twice a week or walking 10 minutes daily. My most successful clients don't restart every season; they build momentum year-round by staying consistent, not intense.