My favorite piece of parenting advice has always been, "just add water." It can be applied in so many ways. Little ones are fussy? Play in the bath. Summer time boredom? Set up a sprinkler. Big emotions taking over? Have a drink of cold water. I love the advice because it helps us to look beneath a child's behavior and focus on an underlying need (like play and connection) or help a child access a sensory calming tool in a state of upset. I received this advice when my first child was born and I've seen my parenting style follow a similar essence. When a challenge pops up in my family, I make every effort to get curious before jumping into solution or punishment mode. It makes a world of difference. Oh! And the same principals can be applied to us as adults. A drink of water, a bubble bath, or hot shower helps us feel better too!
Good day, One of the best pieces of parenting advice I ever got was, "Listen to your children, even when they don't seem to have much to say." It also serves as yet another reminder of the immense need to establish and maintain an open line of communication with kids, letting them feel listened to and important, no matter how petty or trivial their concerns appears to be. I've found that listening, even to the simplest conversations, often yields insights into the child's world that can help build trust and foster a deeper connection. This has helped form my style of parenting, one of patience, empathy, and agreement allowing me to teach my children without pushing them away due to their perspective. The conversation has helped foster a safe environment where my children feel comfortable coming to me with big and small issues they're dealing with.
The best piece of parenting advice is actually advice I received related to my work as a clinical psychologist when I was working with autistic children and their families in their homes. The advice is pretty simple but has complex implications - "chaos creates change." While this phrase often has been a balm to me when clients are struggling and helps me remember that change is often brought about by challenging situations, it has also been so incredibly helpful in my own parenting journey. So often, parenting is incredibly overwhelming particularly parenting a child with big feelings like my son. When I remember that chaos creates change, it helps me remember to use the chaos as a signal or cue that changes are needed, rather than something to fall apart over. It helps me take action, which is often the most helpful thing I can do as a parent!
Help them become themselves. I will not ask my daughter to be who i want, i will try my best to help here become who she deserves to be. She will have her own tastes, a i do, she will have her own skills, i am just here to accompany her on the way.