Founder - Fractional CMO & Digital Strategy Consultant at Thel LLC
Answered 4 months ago
Hi, my teenage daughter (17) has been deep into bouldering at the gym and the field (Boone NC / Moore's Wall NC) -- it's impossible to scroll with both hands engaged in a survival grip over gravity. This is not a thirty minute sport either ----she spends hours a day at the climbing gym, and most of her weekends outside on the boulders or with both hands in the air spotting partners. Jonathan Poston 919-606-9676 Chapel Hill NC
The best I could give is a first hand account of someone who does not even possess children, but has been around many children and adults who are facing the same exact predicament. What I have observed is that children will be more inclined to do screen-free activities when the activity is enjoyable, active, and, most importantly, theirs to do, as opposed to an arrangement that creates an alternative to screens. The spark tends to be noticed in minor details, such as how it illuminates when they are constructing something, cooking or when outside. The most effective strategy I use when interacting with the parents who are in my circle is the gentle encouragement as opposed to coercion. They make the hobby convenient to use, provide their children with space to explore and make it an activity rather than a duty. I have observed children remain occupied with the activities such as climbing, art and music because the surrounding environment made them feel like the activities were exciting and welcoming. And as regards personal anecdotes, I can offer none of that as a parent, but I will be glad to tell you what I have seen, or contribute to the framing of the kind of questions which may lead more fruitful results in a family which has success cases in regard to screen-free experiences.
Child, Adolescent & Adult Psychiatrist | Founder at ACES Psychiatry, Winter Garden, Florida
Answered 4 months ago
In my family, we've found the best antidote to the screen's instant gratification is an activity that demands the complete opposite. My 16-year-old and 14-year-old sons are both serious, competitive tennis players and have been for most of their lives. What I've seen—both as their father and as a child psychiatrist—is how the sport has shaped their understanding of effort. Tennis is a world of delayed gratification. You can work for months to fix one part of your serve, and you don't just win every match—there is a very good share of losses in there, too. This is a hard lesson, but it builds grit. I leave the technical coaching to their coaches; my role as their father is to support their journey with the sport. We talk a lot about how it feels to work that hard for a result, good or bad, and how that gratification is different from what a screen provides. I talk with them about what they love about the sport and what keeps them going. We've also built our own habits around activity; I'll go to the gym or for a walk with them. It's about sharing the value of a disciplined, physical life, not just talking about it. This is the core of what they're learning: to stick with something difficult, follow a schedule, and accept that results aren't instant. As a psychiatrist who works with children and teenagers, I see the fallout from a low-gratification-delay world every day. I talk to so many bright, capable kids who are quick to feel defeated. The moment something gets hard—whether it's schoolwork or a relationship—their instinct is to quit because they haven't exercised that "resilience muscle." A demanding hobby is like a training ground for real life; it builds that muscle in a way a screen just can't.