At it's core, one of my favorite questions for blind spots is "What's your part in the mess?" The sad truth is that we're all playing a part in creating the challenge that we're facing. If we can identify our contributing behaviors, that opens the door for us to influence the situation in a different way, increasing options and agency. The question sounds different in different conversations, of course. I recently asked "In what ways are you rewarding or reinforcing those behaviors from your direct reports," and in another conversation I asked, "What are you doing that contributed to arriving back in this situation." Asking something like, "What's the unspoken message at work that causes that behavior to arise," is a similar "what's our part in the mess" question that gets at systemic pressures. Helping our client and thought partner step back and perform a more challenging diagnosis of the situation can really move the conversation to new ground.
One of the most powerful coaching questions I ask to help leaders uncover blind spots is: "If your team couldn't reach you for two weeks, what would they do?" Think about that for a moment. It's not just a question; it's a reality check. Sometimes, we get so caught up in being the go-to problem solver that we forget our real job: developing other leaders. And here's the thing-if we're always stepping in, we might be unintentionally holding our team back from growing into the incredible leaders they could become. Now, I know how hard it can be to step back. It's natural to want to jump in and fix everything. But here's a little exercise to try: grab a Post-it note and write, "I'M THE PROBLEM." No shame here-it's just a reminder. Now, place that note right up against your face, so it's touching your nose. Can you read it? Nope. It's impossible. You're way too close. And that's how it works in leadership, too: sometimes, we're too wrapped up in the day-to-day to see that we might be getting in the way. So, take a step back. Give your team space to figure things out. You'll be amazed at how much they grow when they have the room to shine. And remember, our job is to create more leaders, not just solve problems. Think about lighting a candle: when you use one candle to light another, does the first one lose its flame? Of course not. It keeps shining, and now there's more light. That's what it's like when you empower others. Here are some simple, human ways to put this into practice: Pause Before You Jump In: Next time a team member comes to you with a problem, count to 10 in your head before responding. It gives them a moment to think more deeply and maybe even come up with their own solution. Trust me, that pause can be powerful. Ask Questions That Spark Growth: Instead of solving the problem, try asking, "What do you think the best solution might be?" or "What would you do if I weren't available?" These questions nudge your team to think like leaders and take ownership. Celebrate Their Wins and Mistakes: Yep, even the mistakes. Every time your team tries something new-whether it works or not-they're learning and growing. Be there to support them and cheer them on. It's all about creating an environment where people feel safe to take risks and grow. Because at the end of the day, leadership isn't about being the hero who saves the day. It's about lifting others up so they can shine on their own. And when you do that, everyone wins.