Low self-esteem is a trait that can drive some people to cheat which makes them feel validated or desirable. When someone feels insecure or has low self-worth, they may step out of the relationship to look for validation to fill that emotional void. Attention from someone new can boost their confidence and make them feel desirable. However, this kind of validation is short-lived and leads to feelings of guilt and even lower self-worth. Instead of addressing their insecurities themselves or together within their relationship, they look outward for attention. Building up genuine self-esteem through practicing self-awareness, going to therapy, or having open communication with a partner can reduce any urges to look for attention elsewhere and can create more stable and honest connections.
Child, Adolescent & Adult Psychiatrist | Founder at ACES Psychiatry, Winter Garden, Florida
Answered 4 months ago
How do factors like self-esteem, emotional regulation, or upbringing play into infidelity risk? Infidelity is often a symptom, not the core problem. In my psychiatric practice, I often see this pattern in individuals who grew up with conditional love. If their self-worth was always tied to external achievements, like grades, athletic performance, or simply being "the good kid," they may not have built a stable, internal sense of value. As an adult, a moment of emotional distress, like feeling bored, unseen, or like a failure, can feel intolerable. Poor emotional regulation means they can't sit with that discomfort. The affair then becomes a highly destructive, impulsive attempt to find a source of external validation to quiet that internal void. It's using another person to self-medicate a core wound from childhood. Dr. Ishdeep Narang, M.D. Board-certified psychiatrist specializing in treating adults, children, and adolescents. Founder of ACES Psychiatry in Orlando, Florida, which focuses on providing comprehensive, evidence-based mental health care and reducing stigma through education. https://www.acespsychiatry.com/