One of the most problematic mindsets I come across when working with women is perfectionism. This is problematic in a few ways. First, perfectionism leaves no room for error, causing women to be extremely self-critical in a black and white way and interfering with self-compassion and the ability to learn from mistakes. It can also make it hard to get started on things, as women wait for the perfect conditions to start OR feel overwhelmed by the thought of having to get it perfect and put if off instead. Some tools that can be used to shift this mindset are self-compassion, thought challenging, and exposure. To practice self-compassion, cut yourself some slack by reminding yourself you are doing your best and it's ok to not get it perfect. Challenge the belief that it/you must be perfect by examining the evidence for and against this belief (i.e. that there is a huge learning benefit from mistakes, that nobody is perfect, etc.), as well as considering the source of it (for example, is a critical person really a quality source of information on how to best navigate the world?). Lastly, get better at tolerating imperfection by practicing - intentionally do an activity you aren't great at for the sole purpose of enjoyment and practicing being ok with not being the best.
One common mindset that we all have probably fallen prey to at some point is the idea that your worth depends on externals (e.g., how your body looks, what you wear, your house, your reputation, even who you surround yourself with). However, the more we pursue these things in an attempt to increase our "worth," the more dissatisfied and empty we feel inside. That's because externals cannot change your inner worth. Nothing can. Every human is born with innate, unchanging, infinite worth regardless of who they are or what circumstances they're in. If you've ever felt that sense of wonder and adoration towards a newborn baby, then you know it's true. The beautiful thing is, that innate worth you were born with never goes away. Everyone still has infinite worth, no matter what age. It's still in there. You couldn't get rid of it if you tried. The more you spend time with yourself - your true, inner self - the more you come to recognize it. Try regularly taking some time out to be in a space where you are not distracted by externals. Maybe take a walk without earbuds, do some yoga solely for the purpose of being with your body (not focusing on results), try a short meditation, or just sit with yourself in silence for a few minutes. Maybe even do a social media fast for a few weeks and see what happens. The stillness will be uncomfortable at first if you're not used to it, but it will make a big difference in your sense of inner peace and satisfaction over time. And with practice, you'll come to feel a little something inside that you will learn to appreciate, and perhaps those external things that used to feel so necessary won't have the same pull on you anymore. Give it try; you might be surprised at the results.
One of the most common struggles I see in women is their reluctance to prioritize their own needs. Socially we women are taught to be "helpful" and "be a good girl" (which is code for "don't make waves and don't let anybody think you are difficult"). Difficult is subjective. Difficult might mean that we are advocating for something different than someone else in the room. For girls and women that skill is often shut down at very early ages as we learn to "get along" and "be friends with everyone". It's a clear line from there to what women internalize as how to be a good romantic partner and certainly is the messaging around what it means to be a "good mother". Rarely are women asked, "what do you need right now?" After decades of this kind of training, when women are asked about what they need, their response is often focused on how they can help, and care take someone else. My advice, stop answering reflexively and be still for a moment before answering. That still moment can allow you to really notice what you may need. Once you know what you need, then comes the tricky part, asking for it. It's hard to do something different than what you've done your whole life. So, first, acknowledge that it will feel strange, uncomfortable even. Remember, just because it feels strange, it doesn't mean you are doing something wrong. Think of this as practice. You won't always get it right the first time, so don't give up trying. Also, this is not an all-or-nothing proposition. If you ask for what you need doesn't mean that someone else's needs can't also get met. Stop thinking about this in ways of "winning and losing" that generates conflict. Clear and compassionate conversation about what your needs are (including the use of "I statements") goes a long way. Finally, remember this a balance of your needs and the needs of others, so be thoughtful. I prefer to think about my needs and the needs of others in a way that I am kind and considerate of both parties - how can I love me and you at the same time. In addition to being a clinical psychologist with over twenty years' experience, Dr. MacBride is also a mother of two. She regularly treats women with trauma, pregnancy-related issues, motherhood in general, and PPD, and is eager to help share what she's learned to raise awareness and help others.
A common mindset that many women struggle with is people-pleasing, specifically the belief that saying "no" is selfish or damaging. This often leads to putting others' needs first, even at the expense of their own well-being, leaving women feeling drained and undervalued. One of the first steps to overcoming this mindset is recognizing that saying "no" isn't selfish; it's actually a form of self-care. When you constantly say "yes" to everything, you're often saying "no" to your own needs, goals, and even your mental health. Shifting to a mindset where you see boundaries as necessary rather than damaging can help you feel more in control of your time and energy. It's important to remind yourself that it's okay if others aren't always happy with your decision; it doesn't reflect your worth or make you less of a caring person. By prioritizing your own needs, you're actually showing up as a more authentic, grounded version of yourself, which will benefit everyone in the long run.
One common mindset among women that should be changed is the tendency to prioritize the needs of others over their own. Often, women are conditioned to put their families, partners, and friends before themselves, leading to feelings of burnout, resentment, and a diminished sense of self-worth. To shift this perspective, women can make time for activities that nourish their physical, mental, and emotional well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies. Learn to say no to requests that don't align with their priorities or values. Express their needs and desires clearly and directly without apologizing or seeking validation. Question traditional gender roles and expectations that perpetuate the idea that women should always be selfless. Acknowledge and celebrate their accomplishments, both big and small. Many women are taught from a young age that they are caretakers, often leading them to put the needs of others ahead of their own. This mindset, while well-intentioned, can contribute to chronic stress and burnout, as well as decreased self-esteem. Reframing self-care as essential rather than selfish can help women view their well-being as a priority rather than an indulgence. This shift can empower them to set boundaries and make self-nourishing choices with confidence. Making time for activities like exercise, meditation, creative pursuits, or relaxation not only enhances physical and mental well-being but also strengthens the sense of self. Pursuing personal interests can reinforce individual identity beyond family or work roles, providing a source of joy and fulfillment that supports overall health. Encouraging women to protect this time, even in busy schedules, can help establish a healthier balance in their lives. Learning to decline requests that don't align with personal goals or values is crucial. This skill allows women to conserve energy for priorities that matter most to them, rather than feeling obligated to help others out of guilt or habit. Saying 'no' can feel difficult at first, especially when others are accustomed to dependability, but it's a powerful step towards honoring personal boundaries and reinforcing self-worth.
One common mindset that should be changed is that many women struggle with settling for less than they deserve. This seems to stem from a lack of confidence and not recognizing their true value, whether in personal relationships, career, or life in general. I see this frequently in my law practice, especially when women hesitate to push for what they deserve in a divorce or remain in unhealthy marriages because they don't believe they can achieve more or succeed on their own. This mindset can be deeply ingrained, often influenced by societal expectations or internalized beliefs that tell women they should compromise their happiness or needs to avoid conflict or disruption. But the truth is, women deserve to have their voices heard, their needs respected, and their lives fulfilled. Settling for less only diminishes the possibility of achieving that. To shift this perspective, we should all begin by recognizing and acknowledging a woman's worth. For an individual woman, this starts with self-reflection and an honest evaluation of her circumstances. Is she accepting situations that make her unhappy because she feels she can't do better? By acknowledging her value and understanding that she has the right to pursue more-whether it's better treatment in a relationship or a more fulfilling career-she can start making empowered decisions. It's also crucial to cultivate confidence, preferably at an early age. This can be done by setting small, achievable goals and celebrating victories along the way as well as surrounding oneself with a supportive community. Ultimately, shifting this mindset is about embracing the idea that women are deserving of happiness, respect, and success, and they don't have to settle for less. It can be embraced individually but also needs to be embraced by society as a whole. In this way, we can help women lead more fulfilling lives, both personally and professionally.
I believe that one common mindset among women that needs to change is the tendency to undervalue their own accomplishments and capabilities, often referred to as 'imposter syndrome.' Many women, even those who are highly skilled and successful, often doubt their achievements and fear being exposed as 'frauds,' which can limit their career growth and personal confidence. Personally, I've found that actively acknowledging my achievements, no matter how small, has been a key step toward overcoming these self-doubts. Celebrating successes, seeking feedback, and reminding myself that growth involves learning from mistakes have been crucial in shifting this mindset. Surrounding myself with supportive peers and mentors who encourage and validate my skills has also been a major influence. Overall, women can begin to change this mindset by consciously challenging negative self-talk and reframing it into positive affirmations. Additionally, sharing their experiences openly with others can foster a sense of solidarity, making it clear that many face similar doubts. By building confidence through self-recognition and collective support, women can redefine their self-worth and potential in both personal and professional spaces."
One common mindset among women that I believe needs changing is the feeling that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Too often, we internalize the belief that we need to do it all-whether it's managing a career, caregiving for family members, or taking care of our own needs. There's an expectation that we should be able to juggle everything perfectly, and if we can't, it somehow means we're failing. I want to challenge this mindset. Asking for help is not a weakness; it's a strength. It's an acknowledgment that we're human, and that we don't have to carry every burden alone. In fact, reaching out for support can be one of the most empowering things we can do for ourselves. It allows us to focus our energy where it's most needed and helps us build stronger connections with those around us. To shift this perspective, I encourage women to reframe their thoughts around help. Instead of seeing it as an admission of failure, view it as a form of self-care and self-respect. When we ask for help, we give ourselves permission to prioritize our well-being and to lean on the strengths of others. It's about recognizing that collaboration and support are key components of resilience. Building a support network-whether it's through friends, family, or professional services-can transform how we navigate challenges. We're stronger together, and by letting go of the idea that we have to do it all alone, we open ourselves up to more joy, balance, and fulfillment.
One common mindset among women is the belief that they must be everything to everyone-constantly balancing roles without prioritising their own needs. This can lead to burnout and feelings of inadequacy. Shifting this perspective starts with recognising that self-care isn't selfish; it's essential. Women can practice setting boundaries and giving themselves permission to say no, understanding that taking care of themselves actually strengthens their ability to support others. Embracing the idea that "rest is productive" can foster a healthier, more sustainable balance. www.alexandraintegrativetherapy.com Qualified psychotherapist & counsellor
Psychotherapist | Mental Health Expert | Founder at Uncover Mental Health Counseling
Answered a year ago
A prevalent mindset among women that often needs to be shifted is the belief that they must excel in all aspects of life to be worthy of success or affection. The pressure of achieving perfection in career, family, and personal spheres creates overwhelming stress and unrealistic self-expectations. To begin altering this mindset, women can focus on celebrating their achievements without comparison, acknowledge areas of growth as learning experiences rather than failures, and prioritize mental health and self-compassion. Emphasizing strengths while accepting limitations helps cultivate a more balanced self-image. Encouraging open conversations about challenges and vulnerability can foster a sense of community and shared experience, alleviating the weight of individual perfectionism. This compassionate approach supports women in embracing their authentic selves and leading a fulfilling life that values progress over perfection.
One mindset that needs to change is letting others decide what you can and can't do. You gotta ask, why can't I do it? Who's gonna tell me what I can or cannot achieve? It's always been about pushing those limits, about questioning those boundaries. You don't need anyone else telling you your path. Let me figure it out for myself. It's all about priorities-balance it, set your goals, and focus. There's no ceiling unless you let there be one.
One common mindset I've encountered among women is the fear of expressing vulnerability. This often stems from societal expectations to be strong and self-reliant. In my coaching, I've seen how embracing vulnerability can actually be a transformative step toward personal growth and emotional healing. For instance, one of my clients finded that writing about her struggles in a supportive community helped her find clarity and build emotional resilience. By allowing herself to be vulnerable, she not only processed her trauma but also connected deeply with others, creating a stronger sense of belonging. Encouraging women to express vulnerability through creative writing can foster self-findy and healing. This approach allows them to explore their emotions safely, helping them shift from a place of isolation to one of empowerment and connection.One common mindset among women I encounter in my coaching is the belief that they have to go through personal struggles alone. This perspective often leads to feeling isolated and overwhelmed. From my experiences with Superbly Scripted, I've seen the power of community and shared storytelling in fostering healing and growth. By engaging in group writing exercises, individuals not only find new insights into their emotions but also realize they're not alone in their journey. In working with clients who faced trauma and addiction, I observed that transformative change happens when women accept their authentic voices. Through personalized writing exercises, many overcome the stigma of sharing their struggles and find empowerment in expressing real stories. Writing allows them to reframe their experiences, seeing them not as weaknesses but as sources of strength and resilience. Data from our community feedback shows a significant increase in emotional clarity and resilience when women participate in guided writing sessions. A participant shared that structuring her emotions into stories helped her confront past traumas effectively, illustrating how a shift in perspective can be achieved through such creative processes. By prioritizing introspection over isolation, women can transform their challenges into narratives of empowerment.
"Women often think less of their accomplishments than they really are." A lot of women think that their success is due to luck, chance, or help from other people rather than their own skills and hard work. This can keep them from being fully proud of their accomplishments and from looking for better job prospects. "Changing this point of view starts with learning to recognize yourself." Women who want to see the clear effects of their contributions can make it a habit to write down all of their wins, no matter how big or small. Change the way you talk to yourself. For example, instead of saying "I was just lucky," say "I earned this by using my skills." Asking for positive feedback from mentors or coworkers can also help women have a better view of themselves, which can help them enjoy their successes and see themselves as worthy leaders.
Many women tend to undervalue their achievements and feel they need to "earn" their success repeatedly, often due to imposter syndrome. We see this mindset especially during the job search process, where it can hold them back from aiming for higher roles or negotiating assertively. As a job search platform favored by Gen Z and millennial women, Rise strives to shift this perspective. One example is having a community forum that allows women to share shoutouts and wins, celebrating each other's successes. This public recognition reinforces each woman's value and builds confidence. Women-centric communities can play a powerful role in encouraging women to embrace their accomplishments, helping them pursue new opportunities with assurance.
A mindset I often see is the belief that self-care, especially aesthetic choices, is selfish or vain. Many women feel guilty investing in themselves, as if their value lies solely in taking care of others. This narrative needs to change. The shift starts by seeing self-care as essential, not indulgent. Whether it's skincare, fitness, or aesthetic procedures, the key is aligning decisions with personal well-being rather than external expectations. A question I often ask patients in my consult rooms is, "Are I doing this for you, or for someone else?" When care is rooted in how you want to feel, it becomes empowering and your decisions attain clarity.
As a businesswoman deeply involved in insurance and real estate, I've noticed a mindset among many women where they undervalue their skills and hesitate to take professional risks. This stems from internalized doubts about their capability to lead or manage complex tasks. I've seen that when women accept their strengths and unique insights, they can excel in traditionally male-dominated fields, such as insurance and real estate management, much like my own experiences. For instance, when I transitioned from real estate to join PTL Insurance, I initially underestimated how my prior experience could drive our business strategy. Emphasizing client-centric solutions, I realized that women often excel at understanding client needs and building relationships-skills crucial in insuramce. Women in various sectors can shift their perspective by recognizing the strength these interpersonal skills bring to professional settings. Moreover, my experience has shown that embracing calculated risks can yield immense benefits. In property insurance, assessing potential risks and making informed choices is part of daily operations. This approach can be applied to personal growth-encouraging women to step outside their comfort zones, be it through seeking leadership roles or advocating for their ideas within a company.
I've noticed that many women underestimate their abilities in business settings. In my team at PinProsPlus, I've seen talented individuals doubt themselves. I encourage them to recognize their strengths and contributions. We started holding workshops focused on building confidence and sharing successes. As a result, team morale improved, and productivity increased by 15%. By shifting focus to their achievements, they can embrace their potential. Supporting each other helps change this mindset.
One mindset I've noticed among women in tech and marketing is the hesitation to accept new technologies due to a fear of conplexity. During my time at Digium, we constantly acceptd VoIP innovations that initially seemed daunting but ultimately streamlined our operations and expanded our market reach. Women can harness their adaptability and creativity to transform these challenges into opportunities. Understanding customer needs is a female strength often overlooked. At SkySwitch, we focus on providing UCaaS solutions that are customizable to fit various business needs, demonstrating that tech doesn't have to be intimidating if it aligns with user requirements. Women can leverage their intuitive understanding of customer pain points to innovate and lead in tech spaces. Additionally, I advise embracing flexibility and continuous learning. In marketing, a key to success is remaining open to changing trends, as seen in our strategies at SkySwitch during the pandemic. Women who cultivate a culture of adaptability within themselves and their teams often find they lead with greater confidence and effectiveness.