Can you share an example of how you have used your understanding of psychology to improve your communication skills in personal or professional settings? What did you do differently and what was the outcome?

Hi! Thank you for the thoughtful question. As a psychotherapist and mentor, my understanding of psychology informs almost every facet of how I communicate, but one moment that stands out was during a professional collaboration that had become tense. A colleague and I were working on a shared project, and I noticed a pattern: every time we disagreed, she would become withdrawn, and I would feel the urge to over-explain or convince. Early in my career, I might have leaned into that tendency, to try to fix, clarify, or win someone over. But my training taught me that when someone shuts down, it's often about safety, not resistance. So I did something different: I paused the conversation and acknowledged the shift in tone without blame. I said something like, "I sense that something in our conversation is feeling off. I care about how we both feel in this process...can we take a moment to reset together?" Instead of pushing for resolution, I prioritized regulation, attunement, and shared intention. The energy softened almost immediately. The outcome? Not only did we move through the conflict with more ease, but it deepened our trust and allowed for a more honest, and productive, working relationship moving forward. In both personal and professional settings, the most powerful communication often comes from understanding what's underneath the words. Psychology helps us listen not just to what's said, but to what's needed. And that's where connection truly lives. Please lmk if I can add more or expand on my thoughts. Dr. Victoria

I've used aspects of the Gottman Rapaport method many times in my personal relationships. This is a technique very commonly used in couples counseling, developed by the Gottmans. It includes using "I" statements, repeating what you heard from the other person, and validating their perspective. It's amazing how much it changed the other person's emotions when I stayed calm, helped them feel heard and validated their perspective. This can be used with anyone (not just your partner) and helps build more connection. The best part is you don't have to agree to validate the other person so I still stayed grounded in my perspective but stayed open to listening to the other person.

As a psychologist and the founder of a mental health platform, I've found that one of the most powerful tools in communication is active listening -- not just hearing words, but deeply understanding what's behind them. One situation that stands out was during a session with a client who was resistant and emotionally closed off. Instead of trying to "pull" answers or offer solutions too quickly (which often creates more resistance), I applied the principle of reflective listening -- paraphrasing their thoughts in a way that showed understanding without judgment. For example, instead of saying: "You need to open up more," I reflected with: "It sounds like you've had to protect yourself for a long time -- that must be exhausting." That one sentence shifted the entire tone of the conversation. The client paused, took a deep breath, and then started speaking more openly. From that point forward, the therapeutic alliance strengthened significantly. This experience reinforced how psychological insight -- particularly in understanding defense mechanisms, trauma responses, and emotional triggers -- helps build trust, which is essential for any effective communication, whether in therapy, leadership, or personal relationships.

One of the most unexpected ways I've used active listening is in improv. (Yes, therapy brain even follows me there.) In improv, the golden rule is "Yes, and"--you take what your scene partner gives you and build on it. But to do that well, you have to really listen--not just to their words, but to their tone, body language, and what they might be setting up in the scene. If you're too busy thinking about what you want to say next, you miss the moment. This mirrors what I do as a therapist--listening beyond just words, attuning to the underlying emotions, and responding in a way that moves the conversation forward instead of shutting it down. In improv, this meant I was able to pick up on subtle cues and run with them, which made the scenes way funnier and more connected. In real life? It's made me better at reading people, rolling with the unexpected, and staying present instead of getting stuck in my own head. Turns out, whether you're in a comedy scene or a tough conversation, really hearing someone makes all the difference.

I've used my understanding of psychology so many times to improve how I communicate, especially in tough conversations--like, those ones where emotions could easily spiral. One moment that really stands out was during a project at work where a teammate kept missing deadlines, and I was honestly getting super frustrated. Instead of reacting out of irritation, I paused and reminded myself about emotional intelligence--something I really value. I thought about how their behavior might stem from overwhelm, not laziness. So, I used active listening and asked open-ended questions like, "Hey, how's everything going on your end?" instead of, "Why are you late again?" That simple shift created a totally different energy. They opened up about personal stress, and we actually found ways to rework the timeline together. After that, our collaboration just flowed better. I think when I stopped assuming and started *seeking to understand*, everything changed. Please let me know if you will feature my submission because I would love to read the final article. I hope this was useful and thanks for the opportunity.