Psychotherapist and Continuing Education Provider at EngagedMinds Continuing Education
Answered a year ago
As a therapist and educator who works with busy professionals (and often juggles a full schedule myself), I always emphasize that self-care doesn't have to be a separate, time-consuming event--it can be woven into the flow of your day in small but meaningful ways. One of the most effective strategies I use is habit-stacking, or pairing a small act of self-care with something I'm already doing. For example, while waiting for my morning coffee to brew, I take a few intentional deep breaths and set an intention for the day. It's a 2-minute practice, but it helps me start the day with more calm and focus. Another key tip I share with clients (and practice myself) is to reframe self-care as essential maintenance, not something extra. Just like charging your phone, we need to recharge ourselves. I often say, "If you don't have five minutes for yourself, that's usually a sign you need ten." For those struggling with time management, I recommend starting by identifying one small daily ritual--whether it's stretching for a minute before bed, drinking water mindfully, or stepping outside for fresh air between meetings. Consistency in small ways creates momentum, and over time, these moments add up to real change in how you feel. Lastly, give yourself permission to adjust--self-care doesn't have to look perfect every day. Some days it might be five minutes of quiet, other days it might be saying no to an extra commitment. Start small, be flexible, and remember that you deserve care, even on busy days.
The "Good Samaritan Experiment" is a Princeton University's theological seminary study that explored how being in a hurry or not might impact altruistic behaviors. In the study, researchers randomly assigned seminary students to two groups. Both groups were told that they were to be giving a lecture on altruism. On the way to give their lecture, they were to encounter a person slumped over in a doorway clearly in distress. The question being explored was, just how many of these students would stop and offer assistance to this person on the way to give their lecture on altruism. The first group was told that they were running about 5 minutes behind and so they would have to "hurry" to the lecture whereas the second group were told that they were about 10 minutes early and so they could take their time walking to the lecture. Fascinatingly, 10% of the "hurried" students stopped to offer assistance where as 63% of the "non-hurried" students stopped to help the person in distress. This one psychological study illustrates just how meaningful and impactful having time/bandwidth truly is. The implications of this study are far-reaching and profound. One broad-brush takeaway is that the average person does indeed "care", but that person without time "can't". Relationships, parenting, economic opportunities, communities, politics, and social advocacy each benefit tremendously from simply having "time". Paradoxically, time is the one commodity that is increasingly sparce. Social media, 24/7 work environments, and constant communication with our smart devices perpetually jockey for our time. This experiment chillingly illustrates that there likely is an inverse relationship between "busyness" and "compassion"; As our society progresses more "forward" and our time becomes more limited, our empathy, care, and altruism just may diminish. Therefore, you may want to take this to heart and value and treat "time" as a priority. This can include maintaining strong boundaries, saying no, or having a smaller circle of my people in your life; all in the spirit of owning and valuing my time. Additionally, many people find it exceptionally rewarding to maintain a relatively simple existence and challenge the societal momentum to give away one of your most precious commodities - time.
Learning about attachment theory majorly shifted the way I view myself, others, and relationships. I vividly remember the classroom I was sitting in learning about attachment styles for the first time, and how a lightbulb went off in my head. Suddenly, every past relationship dynamic made sense. I began identifying attachment styles in everyone I knew, even in characters on my favorite TV shows. This understanding has greatly transformed my relationships as well as how I guide clients and help them to heal attachment wounds and relational traumas. Knowledge of attachment theory enables understanding of what triggers and overwhelms a person, as well as what they need to feel safe and secure in a healthy relationship.
Educational and Child Psychologist at Balloon Educational Psychology
Answered 10 months ago
One psychological concept that has profoundly changed the way I view both myself and the world is Attachment Theory, developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. This framework highlights how the quality of our early relationships--particularly with caregivers--shapes our emotional development, our ability to regulate behaviour, and our approach to relationships throughout life. As a Child and Educational Psychologist, this theory deeply resonated with me, not just on a professional level, but as a human being navigating connection, trust, and resilience. Attachment Theory has fundamentally shifted the lens through which I understand children's behaviour. Instead of asking, "What's wrong with this child?" I find myself asking, "What has happened to this child?" Behaviour becomes a form of communication, not a symptom to be managed. This has had a powerful impact on my practice. In my bespoke intervention work, I design support that centres emotional safety and relational trust. In my work with schools, I help staff reframe behaviour management through an attachment-informed approach--transforming policy and culture to nurture, not punish. This understanding has also shaped the ethos of my business, Balloon Educational Psychology. Our mission--Championing young hearts, minds & dreams--is rooted in the belief that connection is the foundation of growth. Attachment Theory reaffirmed that when a child feels seen, safe, and supported, they can thrive emotionally, socially, and academically. This theory hasn't just influenced how I support others--it's become a compass for how I move through the world.
The concept of attachment theory completely changed how I view myself and my relationships. I had no idea I was anxious-avoidant until my now-husband sent me the book "Attached" by Levine and Heller - talk about a life-changing gift! Before this revelation, I was that frustrating person who craved closeness but then felt smothered when I got it. I'd pull away when someone showed too much interest, then feel absolutely crushed when they gave me the space I supposedly wanted. It was exhausting for everyone involved, especially me. Reading "Attached" was like someone had been spying on my relationship history and wrote it all down. Learning how my early childhood experiences created this blueprint for adult relationships explained so much about my contradictory behaviors. This understanding transformed my life in real ways. I finally had words to explain my feelings instead of just feeling broken. I could tell my partner, "Hey, I'm feeling overwhelmed and my avoidant side is kicking in - I need space but it's not about you." And most importantly, I learned attachment styles can change with awareness and effort. My husband's secure attachment style gave me a safe place to practice vulnerability. By understanding each other's needs, we've built something that feels both secure and spacious enough for me not to panic. The best part? This knowledge spilled over into improving my friendships and family relationships too. I'm more compassionate toward myself and others now, recognizing that many relationship difficulties come from these deep patterns rather than personality flaws. I'm still working on it, but having this framework has made navigating human connection so much clearer. That book literally changed the trajectory of my life and relationships.
One concept that has changed the way I view the world is to be your own best friend instead of your worst enemy. It helps to be kind, accept, and love oneself rather than to judge oneself harshly and put oneself down. At the end of the day, you have to stand up for yourself and be there for yourself if you face any challenges. The last thing you want to do is to battle yourself when you face external challenges.
One psychology concept that profoundly changed my perspective is Self-Perception Theory, which suggests that we can influence our emotions and attitudes by observing our behaviors. This understanding has encouraged me to engage in positive actions, like smiling or helping others, to improve my mindset. If you're interested in how mindset can shape personal growth, check out a list of growth mindset books on Life The Love (https://www.lifethelove.com/growth-mindset-books/)
One psychology concept that truly reshaped my perspective is the "growth mindset," developed by Carol Dweck. This theory posits that individuals who believe their skills and intelligence can be developed through hard work, good strategies, and input from others have a growth mindset. Conversely, those who see their talents as fixed assets have a fixed mindset. Embracing a growth mindset has encouraged me to view challenges as opportunities to improve rather than insurmountable obstacles. Recognizing that my abilities could be developed over time led me to approach learning with more enthusiasm and resilience. Before understanding this concept, I often avoided tasks that seemed too challenging, assuming I lacked the innate skill to succeed. Now, I'm more inclined to embrace difficult projects and persist through setbacks, understanding that each effort is a step towards greater competence. This shift in mindset has not only enhanced my personal and professional growth but also made the learning process much more enjoyable and fulfilling. It's empowering to believe that with effort and perseverance, improvement is always within reach.
One psychology concept that profoundly shifted my perspective is Carol Dweck's growth mindset theory. It challenges the notion of fixed abilities by emphasizing that intelligence and talent can be developed through dedication and hard work. Embracing this mindset has taught me to view challenges and setbacks not as reflections of my limitations, but as opportunities to learn and improve. This understanding has transformed my approach to personal and professional growth. By shifting from a fixed mindset to one that values resilience and continuous learning, I've become more willing to take on new challenges, persist through failures, and actively seek feedback. Ultimately, this has not only bolstered my confidence but also enriched my relationships and career by fostering a culture of adaptability and innovation.