What is one piece of advice you would give to parents or guardians about navigating personal social media with their children? What resource or conversation starter do you recommend?

The most important piece of advice I give parents is to fix your own relationship with your phone before you try to police theirs. Children, and especially teenagers, have an internal radar for hypocrisy. You cannot ask your child to be present at the dinner table if you are glancing at work emails, and you can't tell them to stop scrolling if they see you doing it for hours. Your goal isn't just to set rules; it's to model a healthy, balanced digital life. They learn how to self-regulate by watching you self-regulate. For a conversation starter, I recommend swapping suspicion for curiosity. Instead of asking "What are you looking at?"—which immediately sounds like an interrogation—try "Show me the funniest video you saw today." This small change shifts the dynamic from one of surveillance to one of connection. It shows you are interested in their world, not just in catching them doing something wrong.

As a parent and someone who spends a lot of time engaging with families online, I've learned that kids don't respond well to lectures, they respond to curiosity. Instead of treating social media like a threat, I try to treat it like a shared space we can explore together. When my kids show me a video or a trend, I don't jump to judgment. I ask questions and let them teach me. That small shift opens the door to real conversations instead of defensive reactions. One piece of advice I'd share with any parent is to start the dialogue before there's a problem. Kids want independence online, but they also want to feel safe, supported, and trusted. When we take a collaborative approach, they're much more likely to come to us when something feels off. A simple way to start the conversation is by saying, "Show me something on your feed that made you laugh or think today." It's non-threatening, and it gives you a glimpse into what they're seeing. From there, you can build toward trickier topics like privacy, comparison, or safety without sounding like you're delivering a warning. As a resource, I often recommend Common Sense Media to other parents in our community. They break things down in plain language and offer guides for different platforms, which is helpful when kids are constantly bouncing from app to app. The goal isn't to control every click, it's to stay connected enough that they don't feel like they're navigating it alone.

Most parents focus on screen time or privacy settings, but what I really want them paying attention to is the emotional aftertaste their child is left with when they come off an app - do they come away energized or dysregulated. Social media is a measuring stick, constantly signaling where we stand in relation to others, and many young people don't yet realize the difference between genuine connection and performing to stay relevant. Parents need to be actively involved in helping their children learn to recognize the difference. I might just ask, show me the kind of posts where you feel completely comfortable being yourself, and the kind where you suddenly feel you need to change or prove something. This question pulls them towards noticing what is happening inside, rather than just describing what they are doing online. Once they can start identifying these differences - the activation in the body, they are starting to build emotional literacy in an environment that is designed to bypass it. Youngsters who identify dysregulation symptoms at their onset tend to be safer than most adult users who spend time online. The goal is to help them gain enough self-knowledge which stops them from giving up control without understanding their actions.

In 1986, the Environmental Protection Agency required companies to publicly disclose the toxic chemicals they released, but it did not restrict pollution levels. Surprisingly, pollution dropped by nearly a third simply because transparency changed behavior. The same principle can guide parents who feel overwhelmed by trying to control every aspect of a child's online life. Instead of relying on strict content restrictions, parents can focus on digital transparency and accountability. Screen monitoring tools can serve as a healthy form of visibility rather than punishment. When children know that parents can see their online activity, they are more likely to make thoughtful choices and come to parents when something unexpected happens. This approach turns online safety into an ongoing conversation about trust and responsibility, helping kids build the habits they need to navigate the internet safely on their own.

I find that it is important to ensure children feel safe and comfortable talking about their privacy online. So, parents can try to suggest co-navigating social media with their children instead of fully controlling what children can and cannot do. Social media is a place for young people to explore their interests and creativity while connecting with like-minded people. Shutting children down when they want to do something will only encourage them to hide these things from you. So, create an environment for open communication and ask them why they want to post certain things, which will encourage digital responsibility over time.

Teach them about privacy settings before they need them. Most kids jump onto social media without understanding privacy settings. By the time parents realize this, their kids have already overshared with strangers. I sit down with my kids before they join any new platform. We go through every privacy setting together. Who can see your posts? Who can message you? Who can find you in search? We set up their accounts together on my laptop so I can see the screen clearly. I explain why each setting matters. Public posts can be seen by colleges, employers, and strangers who might not have good intentions. I also teach them to audit their settings every few months. Social media companies change their privacy policies often. What was private last year might be public now. This takes maybe 30 minutes per platform. But it prevents years of problems later.

The smartest way to help kids navigate tech isn't to lay down the law but to invite them into open conversation as equals. Kids often know more about apps and platforms than we do, but they haven't lived long enough to see the pitfalls. If you're always lecturing ("Put that phone down"), you'll just get eye-rolls and silence. But if you share your own experiences, like getting sucked into social media and feeling anxious afterward, you turn tech talk from a rulebook into something more real and relatable. Start with an honest story: "I got caught scrolling last night and suddenly an hour was gone. Have you ever had that happen?" Suddenly, it's not you versus them. It's both of you figuring out how to handle technology's pull together. You're showing self-awareness, modeling curiosity, and giving your child permission to admit struggles without fear of judgment. You can even try a team-building activity: watch a documentary like The Social Dilemma and make it a joint investigation, not a punishment. Ask, "I'm curious to know more about the truth behind this. Want to join me and find out more?" That way, you become allies working out the rules of a new world rather than adversaries. The best digital boundaries start with empathy, not enforcement.

Follow them on social media, but don't comment or like their posts. I follow both my teenagers on Instagram and TikTok. But I made a deal with them - I won't embarrass them by commenting "love you sweetie!" on their posts. This approach lets me see what they're sharing and who they're interacting with. I can spot potential issues early. Last month, I noticed my daughter was getting mean comments on a video. We talked about it privately, and she decided to delete it. The key is staying invisible on their posts. I don't like, comment, or share anything they post. That's their space with their friends. But I'm there watching, ready to step in if needed. This works because they chose to let me follow them. I didn't demand it. And I've proven I can be trusted not to interfere with their online social life.

I run a company that specializes in offering secure digital environments to schools, so what parents really need to cover with their children is the risk of location tagging on social media posts. People tend to focus on the content of a photo, but the metadata & location information are usually overlooked and extremely revealing. Many popular social media sites automatically add the precise GPS coordinates when a picture is uploaded, even if the user has not actively selected to tag a location. An attacker or a stalker can pull out those coordinates and identify exactly where a child is or where they are spending time repeatedly. This is a serious lapse in safety and something that parents need to fully understand and talk openly with their children about. A great way to start that conversation is to just ask your child, "Do you know how a stranger could actually find our house just by looking at the last three pictures you posted online?". That question immediately indicates the privacy settings issue and encourages them to be active auditors of their phone's camera settings and social media permissions to turn off all location tracking permanently.

Be curious more than you are critical. Social media is not a tool as parents like to assume. It is an environment. Therefore, children aren't using social media, they are growing up inside it. While most parents try to control their experience, they should focus more on how to co-exist in it with awareness. Don't ask, "Why are you posting that?" or "Who are your friends?". Try, "What do you like about this trend?" or "Why did you decide to follow her/him?" Their answers will teach you a lot and they might begin trusting you with the details of their digital life. I recommend Common Sense Media, a nonprofit that prioritizes kids' safety in the digital era. Their guides help parents understand what platforms children use through context. Unfortunately, a lot of other guides use a fear-based angle when it comes to children using social media. Common Sense Media shows what's trending, what is safe and what to watch out for.

Talk early and often about boundaries. Parents shouldn't expect kids to instantly understand the safe and unsafe uses of social media. It can be a great tool for family and school-related communication, yes, but it can also expose kids to people and content they might not be prepared for. For younger children and pre-teens, it's okay to limit their privacy online as long as you're clear about why. Framing it around safety, not control, helps build trust rather than pushback. Ask questions like, "Has anyone messaged you that you don't know?" to help them think critically about who they interact with and what they share. As they grow older and demonstrate more maturity, slowly offering more privacy shows that you respect their independence while still being a supportive presence. Social media is part of their world now, but we parents can help make it a safer, more thoughtful space by staying involved and approachable.

My advice to parents dealing with social media with their children is to begin with a family tech agreement rather than imposing a strict list of rules on them. Sit down & together create a living document with expectations for all of the people in the house. A good way to start the conversation is with the question "Let's draw up what we think is reasonable for use of phones & social media in our home." What are your worries for me and what are mine for you? This is reassuring to the child as they feel they are being heard and it establishes clear boundaries about things such as how to put devices away during dinner or what kind of message is deemed appropriate to share online. The aim is to build mutual understanding & establish responsible habits for their long-term lives in the digital space.

City Unscripted co-founder and CXO, and mum to nine-year-old Sakura The core advice I would give is around transparency with social media. From eating food to driving responsibly, learning about digital boundaries by walking the talk and having open conversations with kids about things like content consumption, privacy and digital citizenry is what it's all about. I use Sakura to help me think about what business content is appropriate to share publicly and what I should keep private. I articulate how I protect the privacy of my clients, set limits on professionalism, and consider long-term consequences before passing them such personal moments. It's these very real-time discussions about real digital options that theoretical advisories around her future social media use simply cannot adequately reproduce. The best lead in is spending looking at my social media together and asking Sakura what she thinks about the choices I have made with posting, privacy and how I interact with former colleagues and friends online. This shared discovery allows her to understand the concept of digital footprints, photo consent for photos of others and the balance between authentic sharing and safeguarding one's privacy before she must confront that decision on her own. We talk about why certain family moments should remain private, the different boundaries required for professional relationships versus friendships and what can happen when digital content has unintended consequences. Concentrate on modeling mindful digital citizenship in your own social media behavior and invite your children into age-appropriate discussions about the choices you are making in the moment. The point here is to consider the role of social media guidance as a conversation about values, privacy, and digital stewardship that grows with your child's grasp of these concepts over time — and serves as an incubator for healthy independent decisions once they have their own online presence.

I'm Andy Zenkevich, Founder & CEO at Epiic. We help companies succeed in the digital + AI world. Here's my advice for parents on navigating personal social media with their children. Explore together Set aside a time to accept followers, check notifications, or explore new social media features together with your kids, as partners rather than supervisors. Sit side by side and discuss why certain posts or followers seem good or bad. This way, it becomes easier for you to ask "what are you interested in online lately?" in a way that doesn't feel like you're fishing for problems. Make it a weekly habit to browse or adjust privacy settings together. This can defuse fights over what kids post while also giving you genuine insight into your kids' online lives. Then your kids can sound alarms sooner, and you feel more accessible. This is a great way to turn what might have been blown-up conversations into a collaboration. To start this conversation, you can ask something along the lines of, "Can you show me how you would make a good post here, or can you show me how you decide who to follow? I'm really curious." Take this as an opportunity to learn from your kids about how social media works, or to take them up on a challenge with a new app. Encouraging your kids to teach you about social media is a great way to raise tech confidence in both you as parents and your kids.

I believe the most powerful approach to guiding children on social media is to model the behavior you want to see. In my household, I show my sons what responsible posting looks like by being mindful about not sharing negative content about family members or engaging in online arguments. Starting conversations about specific posts you encounter together can be an excellent way to discuss digital citizenship in a natural, relevant context.

My central piece of advice is about what I call ""COLLABORATIVE SOCIAL MEDIA AGREEMENTS."" These are signed contracts parents make with their kids in which everyone agrees to talk about those boundaries AFTER THEY ARE SIGNED and not decide things on their own. I've spent years helping families reconcile relationships torn apart by social media conflicts and guide many others to more successfully navigate the digital parenting successfully. This technique works because it respects the growth of children's autonomy and offers necessary structure and security. When parents enforce social media restrictions without the guidance of their children, kids frequently find ways to skirt around them or hide what they are doing online — not good, as it promotes harmful secrecy. Collaborative instruments take into account that children have genuine needs for social peer interaction and self-expression, in conjunction with parents' legitimate concerns about repo/delinquency, mental harm and exposure to age-racing or shocking content. Execution takes place with routine family rendezvous that author all to create rules around posting, privacy settings, screen-free times, content boundaries and penalties for breaking the rules. The agreement can cover both child responsibilities and parental pledges -- such as parents pledging not to comment publicly on children's posts or respecting restricted (private) accounts. And here's the best conversation starter I can think of: "I want to understand how you use social media to make friends and express yourself, and I hope you will listen while I explain my concerns for your well-being." Let's come up with a set of guidelines that take both of our positions into consideration." This framing sees parents as partners rather than enemies, and respects children's genuine social media requirements. I also share the Common Sense Media Family Engagement Lab resources, which include age appropriate discussion guides and research-based information to support families who are seeking guidance on how to help their children stay safe on various platforms and with new online trends. The implications of cooperative action include youngsters willing to disclose their online problems in a situation where they feel parents would not react punitively but in a supportive manner instead. This fosters a continuous conversation that changes as kids get older and as digital spaces change (going beyond static do's and don'ts).

Put social media talks on the regular schedule. Don't make it a big deal, just a weekly, casual check-in. Try asking, "What's something online that made you feel good or stressed this week?" This simple question shows you're curious, not looking to bust them. I've found that once this becomes a routine, kids will share the most surprising parts of their online lives, no stress involved.

I've managed paid social campaigns across Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok with budgets up to $5 million since 2008, and here's what the data actually shows: the best protection isn't restriction--it's teaching kids to audit their own digital footprint like a marketer would. Have your kid Google themselves once a month and screenshot what comes up. I do this with clients to show them how their brand appears in search results. When kids see their own digital presence from an outsider's perspective--what a college recruiter or future employer would find--it hits different than any lecture. Make it a regular thing, like checking grades. The conversation starter I recommend: "Show me how you'd use privacy settings to create different audiences for different content." I segment audiences for every campaign I run--you don't show the same ad creative to everyone. Teaching kids that Instagram Close Friends, private accounts, and audience segmentation aren't about hiding things but about strategic communication gives them actual control. They learn that not everything needs to be public, and that's a professional skill, not paranoia. From working with healthcare and education clients, I've seen how one poorly tagged photo or comment can surface years later. The tracking and tagging systems I implement with Google Tag Manager for businesses work the same way on personal social--everything is indexed, everything has metadata, everything is findable. Once kids understand that social platforms are tracking and storing everything the same way I track conversions, they start self-editing naturally.

Start with curiosity, NOT CONTROL. Instead of asking what your child posts, ask what they like online--who they follow, what makes them laugh, what they skip past. That question opens a real conversation instead of a checklist of rules. Kids read tone faster than words, and showing interest builds more trust than any privacy lecture. One specific tactic: do a "scroll together" once a week. Each person picks one post from their feed to talk about—something funny, confusing, or upsetting. It turns social media from a solo scroll into a shared experience, and it teaches digital habits through observation instead of correction. Parents often learn just as much about trends and tone as kids do. A great conversation starter is simply: "What's something online that made you think twice this week?" It's open enough to invite honesty without pressure. Over time, that one question helps normalize reflection, which is far more powerful than monitoring ever will be.

I always advise parents to develop an emotional language at home before establishing social media boundaries. Because they are unaware of the regulations, the majority of children avoid getting into trouble online. They get into difficulties because they are unable to express their emotions. In my experience working with teenagers, the three feelings that motivate risky internet behaviour are fear, embarrassment, and curiosity. A young person will conceal their internet existence if they believe they can't express those feelings to a parent without facing criticism or punishment. A regular check-in that isn't concerned with monitoring their behaviour is the ideal place to start. I advise parents to have what I refer to as a "no-fix" discussion. It implies that you listen without offering advice, corrections, or solutions. "Tell me something you saw online today that made you think" is a common prompt. Because it lowers defences, I have frequently used this line in family therapy sessions. When an adult is inquisitive rather than domineering, teens are much more inclined to open up. These discussions eventually lay the groundwork for discussions about limits, privacy settings, and safety strategies. I frequently suggest the Cyberbullying Research Center's conversation guidelines to anyone looking for a more in-depth resource. They emphasise emotional awareness and digital decision-making more than screen time disputes. Everything is altered by that change from control to connection.