Psychotherapist and Continuing Education Provider at EngagedMinds Continuing Education
Answered a year ago
As a therapist, one key technique I use to build rapport — especially with clients who are hesitant to open up — is to practice trauma-informed care by offering choice, transparency, and control from the very first interaction. For example, I approach intakes as a conversational dialogue rather than rigidly reading through a long intake form. I let clients know they can skip questions, pause, or return to topics later, and I emphasize that they set the pace and decide what feels safe to share. I also recognize that building rapport can take months, even years, depending on people's lived experiences and histories of relational harm. This approach is effective because it helps clients feel empowered, respected, and in control — reducing the risk of re-traumatization and creating a foundation of trust. When clients sense they have true choice and are not being pressured, they're far more likely to gradually open up in a way that feels safe and authentic for them.
To help guarded clients open up, I normalize their experience and give language to what is being left unsaid. For example, I had a client who initially came into therapy because his wife felt he needed to connect with his emotions more and learn how to communicate better. He believed therapy was silly and mostly pointless. When a client comes to therapy for this reason, which happens often- I'll say something like, "As men, we're often conditioned to not value or prioritize emotions. Later, when we enter relationships, our partners can experience us as closed off, but in reality we might not even know what we're feeling or how to share those feelings." This gives the client a sense of alignment, normalizes their experience, and lets them know that they are not doing anything "wrong." As a result, they may begin to share about what growing up was like and how they were taught to deal with emotions.
I always start by being human first—before diving into anything clinical, I spend a few minutes just talking like two people in a room. I might ask how their week's been, or if they watched something interesting lately. I think when clients—especially those who are hesitant—see that I'm not rushing them into vulnerability, they start to relax. I never force deep conversation early on. I let them know we go at *their* pace. One technique I use a lot is gentle self-disclosure. I might say something like, "Honestly, I've had days where my anxiety made even sending an email feel overwhelming." I've found that when I normalize struggle, clients feel less judged and more understood. It builds trust without me making it about me. I've seen this especially help teens and young adults—they often expect a therapist to be distant or overly formal, and when I show up real, they meet me there. Please let me know if you will feature my submission because I would love to read the final article. I hope this was useful and thanks for the opportunity.
I work with many men who are new to therapy — often torn between wanting to open up and not quite knowing how. One simple but powerful technique I use is encouragement. When a client pushes past their usual edge of self-expression, I acknowledge it. I let them know I see their effort, and that this kind of courage — not perfection — is what leads to growth. That moment of recognition often builds trust and momentum. It helps them feel proud of themselves, and it helps us feel aligned in the work.
Building rapport with hesitant clients relies on active listening, which entails understanding their concerns and context. By showing genuine interest and empathy, you create a space where clients feel valued and more open to sharing. Techniques like paraphrasing, asking open-ended questions, and validating feelings can help transform this listening into actionable insights. For instance, summarizing a client's uncertainties before offering solutions demonstrates care and attentiveness.
Building rapport with hesitant clients can be achieved through active listening and tailored communication. Active listening involves fully engaging with clients, understanding their concerns, and responding thoughtfully, which fosters a sense of being heard. Tailored communication, based on clients' specific needs, further encourages openness and strengthens the client relationship.