What's one tip for getting the most out of therapy sessions with a psychologist? What makes this tip effective for you?

One of the most effective tips I offer, both as a therapist and someone who values therapy myself, is this: Come to session with curiosity, not performance. It's so easy to fall into the trap of trying to "do therapy right" and to show up with tidy insights, explain things clearly, or feel like you need to have a breakthrough every time. But therapy isn't a test, and it's not a performance review. It's one of the few spaces where you don't have to be polished or productive. You just have to be real. When you approach therapy with curiosity, about your emotions, your patterns, your reactions, you give yourself permission to be imperfect, messy, uncertain, or even completely stuck. And that's often where the most meaningful work begins. You can say, "I don't know why I'm feeling this way," or "I'm noticing I want to shut down right now," and trust that those moments matter. Your therapist isn't grading your progress. They're walking with you while you explore it. Curiosity also helps you stay present in the session, rather than getting caught in self-judgment. If you're feeling resistance to a topic, instead of pushing past it or apologizing, you can get curious: Why is this so hard to talk about right now? What would feel safer? That gentle exploration often leads to insights that a scripted narrative wouldn't uncover. This mindset is also powerful between sessions. If something comes up during your week: an emotional reaction, a communication misfire, a sudden drop in energy, you can jot it down or voice-memo it with curiosity instead of labeling it as "bad." Then bring it into your next session without editing. That openness allows therapy to meet you where you actually are, not where you think you should be. Ultimately, therapy works best when we bring our full, imperfect selves into the room. Curiosity makes that possible. It quiets the inner critic and opens the door to growth that's grounded in compassion, not pressure.

Your Most Important 5 Minutes of Therapy Happen Before You Arrive My single most important tip for getting the most out of therapy is this: arrive 10 minutes early, and before you even walk in the door, take five of those minutes to sit in your car and ask yourself, "What is the one thing I need to talk about today?" I've seen the power of this simple ritual time and again in my own psychiatry practice. I once worked with a client who felt perpetually stuck. He was a master at filling the hour; we'd have a pleasant chat about his week, but I sensed he was skillfully avoiding the one thing that was really bothering him. Initially, he would leave the sessions feeling frustrated, like he wasn't making any real progress because, in truth, we weren't getting to the heart of the matter. The challenge was that our sessions would begin without a clear focus to cut through that avoidance. I suggested he try this pre-session pause. The very next week, he walked in and said, "Okay, I know what it is. It's the resentment I feel every time my boss emails me after 6 p.m." That was it. That was the entry point. By setting an intention beforehand, he gave himself the permission and the courage to name the real issue, transforming our sessions from a general catch-up into a focused, problem-solving collaboration. This tip is so effective because it shifts you from being a passenger to being the driver of your own therapeutic journey. It helps you push past the natural tendency to avoid difficult topics and ensures that you, not the clock, decide the most important subject of the day. It honors the investment you're making in yourself and turns that 50-minute hour into a powerful catalyst for change.

As a psychologist, I love this question! I think the best thing clients can do to get the most out of their sessions is to go into them as honestly and candidly as possible. Sometimes it is tempting to only share details that prove your point in a challenge or that make you look good, but if you only share that information you are missing the best opportunity in therapy. Feedback. As your therapist, we are looking for ways to support you and not to judge your choices. I care deeply for my clients and also can hold space for their pain, problems, and parts of themselves that they do not like or have shame around. Even more, flaws do not cause me to dislike or lose respect for my clients. I expect them as we are all flawed. Therapy is so much more effective if you allow your full self in the room as early in the process as possible.

One of the best ways to get the most out of therapy is to build a strong relationship with your therapist and set clear goals for what you want to work on. These two things—trust and direction—can help make therapy more helpful. First, it's important to have a good connection with your therapist. When you feel safe and understood, it's easier to open up and talk about hard things. Therapy often brings up deep emotions, so it helps to have a therapist you trust. For me, I do better in therapy when my therapist is kind, listens closely, and makes me feel supported. That strong relationship gives me the comfort I need to talk honestly. Second, clear goals can give your therapy sessions more purpose. Goals help you and your therapist stay focused on what you want to change or improve. For example, you might want to feel less anxious, handle stress better, or work on your relationships. Talking about your goals early on helps you use your time in therapy in the best way. When you have a therapist you connect with and goals that guide your sessions, therapy becomes more than just talking—it becomes a tool for real growth. You're not just working through problems; you're also building a better understanding of yourself.

As a therapist, I typically recommend a few things. The first is to write things down! I have heard a million times "I wanted to talk about something but I don't remember...". Keep a little notebook or notes in your phone for easy access. Logging emotions is also very important. Tracking patterns is the bigger picture here though. It is important to see what is contributors to feelings and the influence. Something that is on a more personal level is telling your therapist what you need. Not every person will be able to give you that and I have seen a lot of people stay with unfit therapists for a long time. We are all people so there are millions of different fits. Just because one therapist can't give you something doesn't mean another cannot. It's just complex and finding the right fit. It is just important to tell your therapist your needs and truth. We can only help if we know and I would hope if that person did not feel equipped to deal with the issue, they will refer out. Also, think of the therapeutic relationship as the role model for others. This is where you get to make mistakes and learn to communicate in a safe place.

One tip I give to every client—whether they're in our residential program or attending outpatient therapy—is this: Bring the thing you least want to talk about into the room first. That's where the real work starts. Most people come into therapy trying to manage how they're perceived—even with their psychologist. They talk about the stress at work, the relationship issues, the surface-level anxiety. But the core stuff—the shame, the resentment, the relapse they haven't told anyone about yet—that's buried. And until that comes up, progress stalls. In my own life and in our clinical work at Ridgeline Recovery, I've seen this shift change everything. When clients stop trying to be the "good patient" and start being brutally honest, the entire tone of therapy changes. You stop managing the session, and you start participating in your own healing. It's not easy. People think they need to build rapport or feel "ready" first. But the truth is, the longer you wait, the harder it becomes. Naming the real pain early not only deepens the therapeutic alliance—it accelerates transformation. As a mental health professional, I've trained my team to meet those moments with zero judgment. When a client says, "I've never told anyone this before," we lean in. That trust is earned, and it's sacred. But it only happens when the client is willing to be vulnerable from the jump. So if you're going to therapy and you want it to actually work—don't dance around what's hard. Drag it into the light. That's where healing starts.

I once broke down crying in the middle of an airport parking lot in Mexico City—and that moment changed the way I show up to therapy forever. As the owner of a luxury transport company, I'm usually the one solving problems, managing logistics, and making sure every client feels safe and seen. But that day, after three back-to-back cancellations, a no-show driver, and a frantic bride's call from her hotel suite, I realized I'd hit a wall emotionally. So when I sat down with my therapist later that week, I did something different: I came prepared with one story, one emotion, and one question. My tip? Come into each session with a single emotional moment you want to unpack. Not a topic—an actual memory that stirred something deep, whether it's anger, shame, guilt, or pride. That forces you to drop the intellectualizing and go straight into what therapy is best at: processing. For me, recounting that airport breakdown helped me realize I was over-identifying with my business. I wasn't just managing a premium private driver service—I was absorbing every client's panic, every driver's emergency, and calling it mine. That one story shifted six months of therapy. It reframed how I delegate, how I recover from mistakes, and how I define success. So now, before every session, I write down one moment from my week that made me feel something strong. It's simple, human, and always productive.

As a clinical psychologist who provides evidence-based therapies like CBT and ACT, here are the top ways to get the most out of this kind of therapy session: - Keep your goals front and center. Why did you start therapy, and what do you want the outcomes to be? Let that guide where you start each session. For example, if your therapy goal is to reduce anxiety, make sure to focus on how anxiety showed up for you this week. Your therapy goals are your guiding lighthouse if you're lost in the weeds of recounting your week. - Talk about what worked and what didn't. In most evidence-based therapies, you learn new strategies or skills to apply in your real life. If you tried them out, share what was helpful or what got in the way. If you didn't try new skills, be transparent about why -- and make a plan that better fits your lifestyle for next time. - Rank your top 2-3 topics to discuss. Therapy session time can easily be eaten up by sharing every concern that came up during the week. A great evidence-based therapy session leaves time for processing, learning new strategies, and making a plan for how to address it next time. You can help that process along by writing down and focusing on 2-3 main concerns from the week. This is also a way to empower yourself to take control of the direction of your own therapy. You may feel more present and engaged by going in depth on a few topics rather than covering many at surface-level. - Be upfront with your psychologist about how therapy is going for you. It can feel uncomfortable giving feedback to anyone, especially your psychologist. But ultimately, we as providers need to know how you're truly feeling about therapy to provide you the best possible service and outcomes. If something was very helpful or made a big difference in your life, let us know! If you're feeling doubts about a particular skill or your goodness of fit with a therapist, be sure to share it sooner rather than later. If your psychologist is able to accept the feedback and adapt, you'll have a better quality therapy experience. If they learn they can't provide what you're looking for, they can help connect you with a provider who does. And if they don't make the changes that you're wanting to see, you haven't wasted any time by wondering in silence. You learned what you do and don't want in a therapy experience, and can use it to guide your search for a better fit. www.drsabrinastutz.com

Be radically honest—with yourself and your therapist. Therapy works best when you're willing to bring your raw, unfiltered truth into the room—even the parts that feel embarrassing, contradictory, or hard to say out loud. That might mean admitting that you're still stuck on an ex, that you lied about feeling "fine," or that you're unsure whether you even want to change. It's okay if your thoughts feel messy or if your emotions don't line up with your actions. That's actually the material therapy is made for. It's effective because honesty creates clarity. When you're real about your inner world, your therapist can actually meet you where you are—not where you think you "should" be. It cuts through surface-level progress and gets to the root of patterns, pain points, and possibilities. Honesty doesn't mean you have to bare everything at once; it just means showing up authentically, bit by bit, even if it's uncomfortable. It builds self-trust and deepens the therapeutic relationship, which is one of the biggest predictors of positive outcomes. Ultimately, honesty is an act of courage and self-respect. And in therapy, it's the foundation that transforms talking into healing.

Here's what I've learned after years of doing therapy: The clients who get the most out of our time together aren't necessarily the ones who talk the most - they're the ones who show up with intention. Before each session, ask yourself: What do I most need today? What's been weighing on me? What would feel most helpful to explore right now? Maybe it's "I want to understand why I keep having the same fight with my partner" or "I need help processing what happened at work this week" or even "I'm feeling overwhelmed and don't know where to start." All of these are perfect starting points. Here's why this matters: When you come in with intention, you're not waiting for me to figure out what you need - you're actively participating in your own healing. You become the expert on your experience, and I become your guide in exploring it. Without this clarity, sessions can feel scattered. You might leave thinking "that was nice, but what did we actually accomplish?" But when you know what you're working toward, even difficult sessions feel productive because you're moving in a direction that matters to you. Your healing isn't something that happens to you in therapy - it's something you actively create. And it starts with knowing what you need.

To get the most out of therapy sessions with a psychologist, it's very important to be as honest as possible - even when it feels uncomfortable. Therapy works best when your therapist has a full, accurate picture of what's going on, and that requires vulnerability. Being open about your thoughts, fears, and behaviors (even the ones you wish you could hide) allows your therapist to guide you more effectively and compassionately. As a therapist, I understand how intimidating it can be to be vulnerable in a new environment. Remembering that it is a safe, confidential space can help you feel comfortable opening up and help you move past surface-level conversations and into deeper insights and growth. Honesty creates the space for real change and connection to happen.

My main tip for getting the most out of therapy is to get curious about yourself. This is the time to ask yourself questions like: What feels off right now? Where do I keep getting stuck? What patterns am I tired of repeating? And of course, don't stress if you don't have the answers - the whole point of therapy is to help you figure this out. But therapy won't be very helpful if you're not curious about all the messy and beautiful things that come up in vulnerable conversations with your therapist.

"Bring the real stuff—especially the uncomfortable stuff." The sessions where you feel awkward, uncertain, or even resistant to talk are often the ones that create the biggest breakthroughs. Therapy works best when you're willing to be honest about what's hard to say—not just what's easy to say. You don't need to have all the answers. Just bring what's real.

From the horse's mouth—one of the most effective ways to get the most out of therapy is to come in with some clarity. Write down what's been on your mind, what you want to explore, or even just a question that's been sitting with you. It doesn't have to be perfect, but having a loose thread or goal helps us focus the session and go deeper, faster. As therapists, we're attuned to follow your pace—but when you bring even a little structure, it becomes a shared roadmap rather than us feeling around in the dark together. And if you ever feel stuck on what to say? Start with: "I wasn't sure what to talk about today, but here's what's been showing up for me." That's more than enough.

One of the most powerful tips I give patients—and practice myself—is: come to therapy with radical honesty, even if it feels messy or unpolished. That means naming the thoughts you're afraid to say out loud, the contradictions, the impulses, the numbness—whatever is real for you in that moment. As a psychiatrist, I've seen how this kind of honesty accelerates healing because it builds authentic trust, not just between you and your therapist, but within yourself. When you stop trying to "perform" in therapy and instead show up exactly as you are, the work becomes more direct, more liberating, and often more somatically felt. You move out of intellectualizing and into real transformation. That's where neuroplasticity happens—when your brain and body start to believe that even the most uncomfortable truths are safe to explore.

"The breakthroughs don't happen in the session—they happen because of what you do between them." To get the most out of therapy, treat it like a structured growth process—not just a venting space. Keep a therapy journal between sessions to track emotional patterns, test new behaviors, and note questions or reactions. This turns passive reflection into active self-discovery and gives your psychologist deeper, more actionable context to work with. I'm David Quintero, CEO of NewswireJet. Mastering my own mindset didn't just help me grow the business—it kept me from burning out while doing it.