About every 3 months sit with your partner and talk about how you have worked to keep the relationship strong and healthy. Share with each other what you find interesting about the other person and what you love about the relationship thus far. You don't have to wait for a Valentines Day or a birthday to celebrate your relationship. Discussing the relationship on the fly is exciting. It demonstrates that you are thinking about your partner all the time. Everyone likes feeling special. Nothing says I love you more that taking a random day to say, "Hey I love you. I can't wait to tell you why?
Always validate each others feeling Making sure to validate each other's feelings, is how my husband and I have been able to keep our romance alive in the last seven years of our marriage. In my relationship experience, I have learnt that one of the easiest most effective ways to maintain passion in a relationship, is by constantly being that one person that makes your partner feel heard, seen and understood. The point is, when partners validate each other in their relationship, they help each other build up their self confidence and esteem, they also succeed in creating a romantic atmosphere of trust and transparency. Such that there is constantly among them, the need to share their daily experiences of pain, disappointments, joys, and victories with one another, and there is also a genuine interest and desire to listen, because you want to share in their experience, and be whatever they want you to be at the moment - celebrate with them, and support them in coming up with a solution. The truth is, the quality of a couple's romantic life is a direct reflection on the friendship that exists amongst them, and the relationship they have built, and making sure to be the comfort that your partner can always count on, being that one person they can trust not to judge them for their mistakes and oversights and making sure to always validating their feelings, is in my experience, by far one of the most effective ways to keep romance and passion alive in romantic relationships.
Long term couples often feel the need to prioritize emotional and sexual intimacy to keep the “spark” alive—but don’t leave experiential intimacy behind! This type of intimacy is built through shared experiences and working together towards a common goal. Experiential intimacy can be cultivated through shared hobbies, small or significant adventures together, or spontaneously exploring something new. This may resemble how you showed up early on in the relationship, with an eagerness around date nights and shared activities to show off your best self. Experiential intimacy can be a “lower stakes” and fun way to promote curiosity and closeness with your long term partner.
For my partner and me, it's about planning unexpected dates or weekend getaways. It could be as simple as cooking a new recipe together or trying a new hobby. The point is to keep things fresh and exciting, and to show each other that you're still invested in the relationship. It's amazing how something as small as a surprise picnic in the park can bring back that spark and make you feel like you're dating all over again. So, keep surprising each other, and never stop making an effort to show your love and appreciation. That's the secret to keeping the romance alive, if you ask me!
Small. Things. Often. Doing something as small as making your partner coffee or sharing a trait that you appreciate about them can go a long way. Research from the Gottman Method shows that these small actions contribute for a higher ratio of positives (as compared to negatives), which in turn impacts how we feel about our relationships. Next time you see one of these small opportunities to connect, make sure you take it!
Remember the small gestures go a long way. Romance is always viewed as grand gestures that we see in cinema and entertainment. These are usually widely over dramatized and embellished for entertainment purposes creating a unrealistic definition of what romance actually is. The simple truth is romance does not have gigantic price tags or months of planning intricate details it's the simple gesture of showing affection or care for your significant other. A simple love note on a post-it, an unexpected kiss or physical affection during a quick passing of your love is all it takes. The gestures of showing your attracted to them, you love them, you appreciate them is what keeps romance alive in a relationship. Of course, each person in the relationship has their own preferences of how they like to show and receive their romance but simply making the effort goes a long way.
Founder of Growing Self Counseling & Coaching at Growing Self Counseling & Coaching
Answered 2 years ago
Stop trying to control each other! The healthiest, happiest, most vibrant relationships are characterized by "Individuation" rather than "Enmeshment." Don't worry about "compatibility." Celebrate your differences, and appreciate your partner for their unique perspective, strengths, and gifts.
When it comes to keeping the romance alive in a long-term relationship, one tip that's been a game-changer for me and my partner is scheduling regular date nights. It sounds simple, but dedicating time specifically for each other, away from daily routines and distractions, really helps us reconnect on a deeper level. We make it fun by alternating who plans the date and surprising each other with new experiences or revisiting old favorites. This not only keeps things exciting but also reminds us of why we fell in love in the first place. Plus, it gives us something to look forward to amidst our busy schedules, adding a bit of anticipation and joy to our relationship journey.