For me, one of the most impactful tools I've learned, both as a professional in relational therapy and in my own personal life, is the practice of "name it to tame it." It's a simple concept, but incredibly powerful. When you consciously identify and label what you're feeling, it engages the logical, language-processing part of the brain, which helps calm the more reactive emotional centers. In my opinion, this practice works because it bridges awareness with regulation. If I notice myself feeling tense or unsettled, instead of pushing it aside, I pause and say to myself, "I'm feeling anxious" or "I'm feeling disappointed." That small act of acknowledgment stops me from spiraling into overthinking or reacting impulsively. It also helps me connect the emotion to its possible trigger, which gives me a clearer sense of what I actually need in that moment. I use this tool daily, sometimes in quick mental check-ins, sometimes in journaling, because it creates space between the emotion and my response. Over time, it's not just about managing emotions; it's about developing a more compassionate and curious relationship with them. And in my work with clients, I see the same thing happen: when they start naming their emotions, they begin to understand themselves more deeply, which transforms the way they relate to others.
I use body awareness as a way to understand my own emotions. Sometimes, I can't put a name on how I feel emotionally, but I notice something that changed in my physical body -- a movement, a posture, discomfort, a contraction, etc. I then trace back from that change to what changed in my environment or my thoughts. I notice that when I think about politics or other stressful topics, my body tenses up and I contract in uncomfortable ways. This body-mind connection is fairly easy to trace, but sometimes I need to spend some time with the physical change and ask it "what are you trying to tell me," as though it were a person inside me. This often clarifies what is happening when that sensation talks back to me, like "I'm sad/angry/stressed/lonely," etc.
The notion of countertransference or enactment. I often teach clients the same as a therapist would be taught in the psychodynamic or psychoanalytic tradition. We tend to internalize emotion and act on it, rather than exploring truly where it came from including what portion of that emotional was elicited by external sources, namely other people. A supervisee said reflected a client's statement, which elicited tears, and they felt guilty for eliciting this emotion. At the end of the session, the client apologized for crying. The therapist could recognize that maybe emotions were acceptable in the client's background, but didn't intuitively make the leap that their guilt told them more about the client about themselves: was it a coincidence the therapist felt guilt about a client's emotion that the client judges as unacceptable? No, the therapist's guilt was empathy - the felt (empathized with) the clients judgement of their emotion. Rather than internalize this guilt, lets use to understand the client.
A great technique I've found incredibly useful is Emotional First Aid, a concept popularized by psychologist Guy Winch. It's essentially about applying the principles of physical first aid to our emotional well-being. When we get a cut, we clean it and put a bandage on it; similarly, when we experience emotional pain—like a setback at work or criticism—we need to address it directly instead of just ignoring it. I use this tool by first acknowledging the emotional wound without judgment. For instance, if a business deal falls through, instead of dismissing the disappointment, I allow myself to feel it. Then, I actively counter the negative self-talk that often follows. I might ask myself, "Is this setback truly a reflection of my capabilities, or is it a single event with multiple factors?" This practice helps me to process and move past difficult feelings much more quickly and constructively, preventing emotional wounds from festering and affecting my long-term performance and mental health. It's about being as proactive and compassionate with my emotions as I would be with my physical health.
One technique I've found incredibly valuable comes from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): the practice of cognitive reframing. This tool helps me pause and consciously examine the thoughts driving my emotions, especially during high-pressure moments. For example, when facing setbacks in growing PressRoom, instead of immediately defaulting to self-doubt or frustration, I step back to identify the specific thought patterns fueling those feelings. Then, I challenge any unhelpful assumptions by asking, "Is this thought fact-based or just a fear?" Using reframing regularly helps me stay grounded, reduce emotional overwhelm, and approach challenges with clearer, more constructive perspectives. It's a way of turning reactive emotions into intentional responses. Emotions are data, not destiny. Cognitive reframing teaches us to interpret that data wisely and lead with greater emotional intelligence.
One tool I've learned from a psychologist that's helped me understand my emotions better is mindfulness journaling. I started using it during a stressful period in my life. The technique involves writing down my thoughts and feelings each day, focusing on what triggered my emotions, how I reacted, and how I could respond differently next time. This practice has helped me identify patterns in my emotional reactions, allowing me to address issues before they escalate. I use it every evening, reflecting on my day and checking in with how I'm feeling. It's been an eye-opener in recognizing the underlying causes of my stress and anxiety, and it's helped me manage them more effectively. By consistently using this tool, I've gained better control over my emotional responses and developed healthier coping strategies.
One valuable technique I learned from a psychologist is to focus on setting expectations around controllable behaviors rather than uncontrollable outcomes. This approach has significantly improved my emotional well-being by shifting my self-worth from being results-based to being grounded in keeping promises to myself. I apply this tool daily by celebrating the consistent actions I take rather than fixating on outcomes that may be influenced by external factors. This mindset shift has transformed my relationship with myself and how I process both success and disappointment.
In the fast-paced world of professional development, it's easy to get caught up in the external metrics of success. But I've found that true leadership starts with understanding what's happening on the inside. A technique that's been invaluable for me is the "Name It to Tame It" approach, a concept popularized by Dr. Daniel Siegel. It's a simple yet powerful practice of acknowledging and labeling emotions as they arise, rather than letting them take control. When I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed—which, let's be honest, is a common occurrence for a CEO—I'll take a moment to pause and mentally (or even verbally) say, "I'm feeling stressed right now." This simple act of identification creates a small but significant space between the emotion and my reaction to it. It shifts me from being a prisoner of my feelings to an observer of them. This allows me to approach situations with more clarity and a calmer perspective, whether I'm making a critical business decision or navigating a challenging team dynamic. It's a foundational skill that I believe not only helps with emotional regulation but also enhances empathy, a key trait for any leader seeking to build a strong, resilient organization.
One technique I picked up from a psychologist that's stuck with me is something called "naming the emotion." Sounds simple, but it's been a game-changer—not just in life, but on the job. As a Level 2 Electrician running my own business, pressure is part of the deal. You've got clients breathing down your neck, emergencies popping up, jobs running behind, gear not arriving on time—you name it. For years, I'd just push through, thinking that was strength. But inside, I'd be boiling—stressed, angry, even anxious. I just didn't have the words for it. Then I had a chat with a psychologist during a rough patch. He told me, "You don't have to fix the feeling. Just name it. Say it out loud." That hit me. So I started doing it. On a job site, if I felt tension rising, I'd take a second, step away if I had to, and say to myself, "I'm frustrated," or "I'm overwhelmed." Not in front of the crew—just to myself. And here's the weird part: once I named it, the emotion lost its grip. It stopped controlling my next move. I could breathe, reset, and get back to leading without snapping or shutting down. It's made me a better boss, a better husband, and a better mate. Because when you run a team, your mood sets the tone. If you don't have a handle on what's going on inside, it spills out where it shouldn't—on your crew, your clients, even your family. Naming the emotion gave me that handle. It's a tool I keep in the back pocket every day—no different than a voltage tester or pair of pliers. Simple. Quiet. But powerful.
One of the best tools I've learned from a psychologist is naming emotions. It sounds simple but giving language to what I'm feeling has changed everything for me. Instead of saying "I'm stressed" or "I'm upset" I pause and ask myself, Am I feeling anxious? Overwhelmed? Frustrated? Lonely? That extra layer of precision makes all the difference. My therapist once told me that emotions are like signals on a dashboard—you can't address them if you don't know what they're telling you. Now whenever I feel a strong reaction I take a moment to identify it and even rate its intensity on a scale of 1 to 10. If I'm at an "8" in frustration for example I know I need to step back before I respond. Over time this has made me less reactive and more compassionate with myself. Instead of getting swept up in vague feelings I can acknowledge them, understand what's underneath and choose a response that aligns with my values. It's a small habit but it's helped me have greater emotional clarity and healthier relationships.
Labeling emotions with granularity proved far more effective than broad terms like "stressed" or "upset." A psychologist introduced the idea of an emotion wheel, which breaks feelings into nuanced categories such as frustration, disappointment, or apprehension. Using this tool during journaling or reflection created space to identify the exact emotion rather than reacting to a vague sense of discomfort. Over time, patterns emerged that made triggers more visible. For instance, realizing that irritation often masked fatigue changed how rest was prioritized, while recognizing that disappointment stemmed from unclear expectations improved communication. The practice did not eliminate difficult emotions, but it provided a framework to interpret them with clarity and respond in ways that were constructive rather than impulsive.
One tool I picked up from a conversation with a psychologist—believe it or not—was naming the emotion. Simple, but effective. Sounds obvious, but when you're running a roofing business, managing crews, dealing with weather delays, customer stress, and the constant pressure to deliver, you start reacting more than thinking. You bottle it up or brush it off—and that's when mistakes happen. This tool helped me step back. Instead of just snapping or pushing through, I learned to pause and call it what it is: frustration, burnout, anxiety, pressure, even guilt. Saying it out loud—sometimes just in my head—diffuses it. It gives me a bit of control back. It turns a vague weight into something I can handle. I use this the most after jobsite issues or client complaints. Before I respond to anyone, I ask myself, "What am I actually feeling?" That little moment helps me choose my response instead of reacting emotionally. It's helped me lead with more clarity, especially during heated crew talks or when we're under deadline pressure. This tool doesn't make the emotions go away. It just makes sure they don't steer the truck off the road. And in this industry—where reputations are built on how you show up during the toughest moments—that kind of emotional control is just as valuable as knowing how to patch a roof under pressure.
One powerful technique I've found incredibly useful is cognitive reframing. It's a method where I consciously challenge and change the way I think about certain situations or emotional responses. Instead of getting stuck in a negative loop, I try to re-evaluate the situation from a different perspective. For example, if a business deal falls through, my initial emotional response might be frustration or disappointment. Using this technique, I'll reframe it not as a failure, but as a learning opportunity. I'll ask myself, "What can I learn from this? What can we do differently next time?" This shift in perspective helps me move from a place of emotional reactivity to a more strategic, problem-solving mindset. It's a way of taking control of my internal narrative, which has been crucial in managing the pressures of running a global company and maintaining emotional resilience.
One technique that proved valuable is the "name it to tame it" approach, which involves identifying and labeling an emotion in the moment it arises. A psychologist explained that the act of naming an emotion engages the brain's rational processing centers, reducing the intensity of the feeling and making it easier to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. I use this tool by pausing during stressful situations—such as high-stakes grant negotiations—to internally acknowledge, for example, "I'm feeling anxious" or "I'm feeling frustrated." This brief acknowledgment creates enough mental distance to assess whether the emotion is based on the current situation or on external pressures. Over time, this practice has improved both self-awareness and decision-making under pressure, allowing for calmer, more constructive interactions.
Keeping an emotion journal, structured around the "name it to tame it" principle, has been a valuable technique. Each entry records the triggering event, the emotion felt, its intensity on a 1-10 scale, and any physical sensations that accompanied it. The practice forces a pause to identify emotions with precision—distinguishing between frustration, disappointment, or anxiety—rather than grouping them into vague categories. Over time, patterns emerge that reveal recurring triggers and the contexts in which certain feelings intensify. Reviewing these notes makes it easier to anticipate emotional responses and choose more constructive reactions. Using this tool consistently has increased emotional clarity and reduced the likelihood of impulsive decisions in high-stress situations.
The "name it to tame it" technique—labeling emotions as they arise—has been particularly useful for gaining clarity during stressful moments. When a strong feeling surfaces, the practice is to pause and identify it with precision, such as "I'm feeling anxious" or "I'm feeling frustrated," rather than using vague terms like "I'm upset." This simple act of naming engages the brain's prefrontal cortex, which helps regulate emotional responses and reduces the intensity of the feeling. Over time, it has become a habit used in meetings, personal conversations, and decision-making situations. By acknowledging emotions without judgment, it becomes easier to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively, leading to more constructive outcomes in both personal interactions and leadership contexts.
One tool that has been especially helpful is the practice of naming emotions rather than generalizing them. A psychologist explained that labeling a feeling with precision—whether it is frustration, disappointment, or anxiety—reduces its intensity and provides clarity about what is truly happening. Instead of saying "I'm stressed," identifying it as "I'm anxious about an uncertain outcome" or "I'm frustrated by delays" makes the emotion less overwhelming and more manageable. In practice, this technique allows for more thoughtful responses in high-pressure situations such as negotiations or client meetings. When emotions are accurately named, the focus shifts from reacting impulsively to addressing the underlying cause. Over time, this habit strengthens self-awareness and communication, since it becomes easier to explain feelings clearly to others and work toward constructive solutions.
Marketing coordinator at My Accurate Home and Commercial Services
Answered 8 months ago
Practicing the "name it to tame it" technique has been a valuable way to process emotions before they influence decisions. When a strong feeling arises, the first step is to pause and label it as specifically as possible—frustration, disappointment, anticipation—rather than using broad terms like "stressed" or "upset." This labeling engages the rational part of the brain, creating enough distance to assess the cause without being swept up in the reaction. For example, identifying that irritation stemmed from a delayed delivery rather than the project as a whole made it easier to address the specific issue calmly. Using this tool consistently has improved communication, reduced misunderstandings, and allowed for quicker emotional recovery during high-pressure situations.