If a key skill to be successful in real estate is learning location, location, and location, then a key skill to be successful as a mediator is learning listen, listen, and listen. People involved in a dispute need to be heard and listened too. This also has a cathartic effect. Once a person involved in a dispute feels heard, this typically allows them to move forward and focus on resolving the dispute at hand. How to develop effective listening skills? By remembering we were born with 2 ears and 1 mouth so we should listen twice as much as we talk!
Active listening. As a mediator, I have to understand the parties’ perspectives, needs and interests. I start out by reading mediation statements carefully, but in order to fully understand, I must listen to the parties with full attention and respect. The parties need to know that I understand and appreciate their world views and perspectives. Only when they accept me to be fair and neutral, I can engage them in a conversation toward making peace.
A key skill I believe is essential for a mediator is active listening. Active listening is more than just listening to what the client is saying like you might do with a friend or family member. It means that you are focused on what they are saying and able to take what they've said and mirror back to them or rephrase in a way that will help the conversation move forward more productively. I developed this skill in a few different ways, one was in completing my courses for my Masters in Dispute Resolution from Straus Institute of Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine University School of Law. Additionally, I find the best way to develop this skill is to practice, which is something you can do with friends and family. The more you practice the more it becomes like second nature to be present and listening to what someone says and able to pull out the important aspects of what they've shared with you.
A key skill that is essential for a mediator is patience. Most mediations begin with one or both sides saying they don’t see a possibility of settlement, and most (in my experience) end in a settlement. The key to making that switch in opinions is taking the time to really listen to what each side is looking for and expecting, and assuming the process will take time. If the mediator tries to rush the process, the process will fail. If the mediator gets angry at one side or the other for being unreasonable, the process will fail. My method for developing the patience needed for mediation is one that most mediators would not want to follow, however: I was a high school science teacher for almost 20 years. Talk about needing patience!
I can think of several skills a mediator needs in order to be successful. 1) active listening is by far the most important and underrated skill there is to develop. Interestingly, it's an easy skill to develop but a hard one to practice. To do so, all one must do is listen without judging, not jump to conclusions while somebody else is speaking, and allow the other person to finish their thoughts/sentences. 2) creative problem solving is this the second step to delivering results in mediation. To do so? All one must do is think deeply about what the parties really want. Sometimes it's money, but oftentimes it's not. Often. It's something else, something deeper, something that takes time to develop through active listening in mediation.
Impartiality is a crucial skill for an arbitrator, involving the ability to assess evidence and make fair decisions without personal bias. I developed this skill through extensive training in conflict resolution and mediation, which stressed the importance of neutrality. Additionally, I gained practical experience by actively listening to disputing parties and consistently maintaining impartiality. This continuous practice has allowed me to establish impartiality as a core competency in my role as an arbitrator.