Founding Attorney and Mediator at San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law
Answered 2 years ago
Avoiding a contested divorce is the key to a cooperate post divorce relationship. Working with both parties as a divorce mediation attorney for 20 years, I have helped hundreds of couples craft parenting plans that allow them to divorce amicably and then co-parent with minimal drama following the divorce. Crafting a parenting arrangement during divorce that is collaborative and negotiated in mediation is a huge key for people being able to co-parent without getting courts involved and keeping the fighting manageable. When couples divorce through the courts in a contested process, 45% end up back in court after divorce. That's because the courts are imposing parenting plans onto the parties and there is always resistance from one or both as there is no desire to go along with something they didn't want. A couple in mediation crafts their own plan and create their own arrangements together with a parenting expert like myself. By having a say in the way the plan came about, there is a dramatic drop in post-divorce litigation among mediated settlements. Less than 15% end up in litigation after divorce. Please link to my site if you wish to use me as a source. Happy to provide additional info. Scott Levin
As a relationship coach, one recommendation I often give couples rebuilding after a separation is to approach it slowly and reset expectations. A client couple, Mark and Jen, reunited after being apart 8 months but struggled because they rushed back into the same dysfunctional patterns. My advice was to take things step-by-step - date each other again, don't immediately cohabitate, and rebuild emotional intimacy before physical intimacy. Reset the foundation rather than springing back into the relationship that led to the separation. The goal is to reestablish trust, communication, and realistic expectations at a pace that feels safe for both partners.
My top recommendation for couples seeking to rebuild their relationship after a separation is to prioritize open, honest communication. It's crucial to create a safe space where both partners can express their feelings, needs, and concerns without judgment, which lays a strong foundation for rebuilding trust and understanding.
Marriage Counseling through Mediation In the context of rebuilding a relationship after a separation, my legal recommendation would be for the couple to consider seeking professional guidance through mediation or counseling. Engaging in open and honest communication facilitated by a neutral third party can assist in addressing underlying issues, fostering understanding, and establishing a foundation for constructive collaboration. Mediation, in particular, allows couples to navigate the complexities of re-establishing their relationship with the assistance of a trained mediator who can help them reach mutually agreeable solutions. This approach may contribute to a more amicable resolution, potentially minimizing legal conflicts and promoting a smoother reconciliation process. It is essential for couples to prioritize effective communication and seek professional support to navigate the emotional and practical aspects of rebuilding their relationship post-separation.
As a tech CEO, I often draw parallels between rebuilding a business and a relationship post-separation. I suggest the 'Product Upgrade' method. Consider your partnership as a product that needs an upgrade. Just like we take feedback from our customers to improve our product, take time to listen to each other's points of view about the issues that led to separation. Use this feedback objectively to improve your relationship status. Don't hesitate to take professional advice if needed. Rebuilding a relationship is like launching an updated version of your product. It takes time, but with patience, understanding, and love, you can successfully upgrade your relationship.