One simple habit that can make you more likeable is consistently showing gratitude. Expressing gratitude regularly, whether it’s for small favors or significant help, goes a long way in building strong, positive relationships. I've found that expressing gratitude is crucial for maintaining a supportive and collaborative work environment. Whether acknowledging a team member's hard work on a project, thanking a colleague for their assistance, or simply expressing appreciation for daily efforts, these small gestures of gratitude can have a significant impact. Showing gratitude can be as simple as sending a thank-you note, offering verbal appreciation during meetings, or recognizing someone's efforts in front of the team. These actions boost morale and help make everyone feel valued. In my experience, when people feel appreciated, they are more motivated and engaged in their work. It also strengthens relationships, making it easier to collaborate and communicate effectively.
If you want to be more likeable, challenge yourself to be legitimately *interested* in other people! You will ask great questions, listen intently, and give people the focus and attention they crave. People will feel seen, and they need and love that! They will always come away feeling like they had a good experience interacting with you, and that makes you likeable.
Improve your conversation skills by asking better questions—ones that lead to stimulating, engaging, meandering discussions. People like those who show genuine interest in them. Instead of asking the usual "How are you?" or "What do you do?", try questions that spark engaging conversations. Interesting questions make you memorable and show that you genuinely want to get to know the person you're speaking to. An easy way to get started is to pick up a deck of conversation cards. They're usually the size of a standard playing card deck, offering options for intriguing questions that instantly start interesting exchanges. These can help you develop your conversation skills and make getting to know others more enjoyable. My favorites are from BestSelf Co and TableTopics.
Openness to feedback can improve one's likability and interpersonal relationships. In a business context, colleagues, peers, and leaders feel comfortable sharing observations and improvement ideas when they know the person on the receiving end is willing to accept various perspectives and adapt their ways of working based on new knowledge and observations. Keeping the status quo hinders creative freedom and innovation, so humbly and authentically embracing fresh perspectives rarely goes unnoticed. It has the double benefit of making one more likable and more effective in one's role.
For me it has always been an ability to remember names and something about their personal life. For example, I normally remember my team's spouses names and profession. Or their children names. The eyes really brighten up when I name their spouses / children and ask what they have been upto lately.
One simple habit to seem more likable is to ask others questions about themselves. When we take interest in others, we come across as more likeable and approachable. We all inherently - to some degree - like to talk about ourselves, so when someone gives us this opportunity, we feel good and like the other person for doing so.
Make an effort to improve our emotional intelligence. High EQ individuals understand the value of relationship management. They possess a strong sense of self-awareness, have the ability to control their emotions, and have an acute social awareness. They are compassionate, adaptable, and assertive all at the same time. They’re also genuine, own up to mistakes, and self-correct. Lastly, these individuals adhere to "the platinum" guideline, which calls for greater consideration and empathy in …treating others how they want to be treated, rather then how they’d personally want to be treated. Fortunately, neuroplasticity gives us the ability to continually raise our EQ!
I try to focus on being genuine. Just being myself, weird quirks and all. Now, that doesn't mean being rude, but it does mean being honest and open in my interactions. People appreciate authenticity. When you're true to yourself, your interests, and your sense of humor, it allows others to connect with the real you. It doesn't mean you have to be loud or the life of the party, but just be comfortable in your own skin. Plus, it attracts the kind of people who appreciate me for who I am, which makes building real connections way easier.
Author | Former Executive | Certified Executive Coach | Marketing Consultant at Solle Solutions
Answered 2 years ago
The key is to focus on them, not you. Likeability is focused on showing genuine interest in the other person and actively listening. Ask open-ended question, give them your full attention, be empathetic and think about how you can help them. Once you understand what interests them, pick one topic that you authentically are interested in, and connect on that.
Assume the best (instead of worst) about people. Believing in other people's good intentions helps you be more curious, patient, and open to connection. It makes your conversations more interesting and honest, and people will always remember that they felt good in your presence.
Ask deepening or clarifying questions and actually listen for the answers. Everyone likes to feel seen, heard, and understood. Try asking follow up questions, even in casual conversations, and you'll not only be more likeable, but you'll be more memorable as well.
Talk less, listen more. People like to talk about themselves, so if you can get good at prompting others to talk about themselves, they will view you as more likeable. Try to be conscious of how much you are talking about yourself when in others company and truly practice developing listening skills. We humans want to be heard, its a vital need and want to connect and share our thoughts. Listening is an easy way to develop genuine relationships, and get people to appreciate you.
This might sound cliche but regularly expressing gratitude and politeness can significantly enhance your likability. A heartfelt "thank you" or a kind gesture not only shows appreciation but also fosters positive relationships and strengthens your network.
Get to know the person in the mirror – YOU, and then embrace ALL of you, including the parts that you didn’t think were worthy of being liked or accepted; create space inside of your heart for those parts, let them be loved by YOU, and you’ll see serious magic unfold! By embracing and truly accepting your “less attractive” parts, you allow your strengths, your natural charisma shine brighter. People can’t help but be attracted to you, because they feel that you like yourself, without pretense. And for those of you who are noticing a voice in your head – “yeah, yeah, that’s great, but I’ve failed, I’m not good enough, I don’t like myself because …. “(fill in the blank) - that’s the part that you want to see and love first. And if you notice resistance to loving that part, create space for that resistance to be here too. Don’t force any of it to go away, but don’t buy into the mind’s “story” either, just notice all the inner storytelling with innocence and curiosity – like a toddler is watching tiny ants crawling. When you stop pretending to yourself that some parts of you don’t exist (because you learned as a kid that those parts are not likeable), you’ll naturally become more likeable, and it won’t even matter, because you’ll be so full of energy and aliveness that you’ll be unstoppable!
A simple habit you can do to be more likable is to remain curious about others. The ability to approach relationships especially conflict with curiosity versus judgement or preconceived opinions is the key ingredient to forming authentic connections.
My favorite way to be more likable starts with wanting others to like me. I know I’m likable and so I welcome people in to my heart so they can see and feel what they could like about me. One way I do that, first of all, I make eye contact and I show them that I’m listening, and they can feel it because when I look at them, they feel the energy between us. They feel the connection and that connection is my heart.
One simple habit or thing to be likable is to remember little things about them - how they like their coffee, their child's name, or even the last conversation they had with you. It's important to be authentic about repeating these facts and being genuinely interested in them and not winning a popularity contest.
Become a great listener. While we may like someone who is a great storyteller, we like people who listen to our stories even more. The key is to be present, focused and truly listen to what someone is telling us. Too often we get distracted or wrapped up in what we're going to say next and miss the important details of what someone is saying. If you really want to be more likeable, be sure to ask the person you're listening to a followup question, that shows you've been paying attention.
The best way for business owners to become more likeable is to help others. Adopt a servant leadership mindset, understanding that you must first serve others before you can lead. Every good employer knows their employees are their most important asset, and in today’s highly competitive workforce, talented employees have choices and won’t stay where they don’t feel appreciated. By leading with empathy, prioritizing employee growth and well-being, and acting as a role model, mentor and servant leader, you can ensure there’s mutual trust, respect and likeability with those who help run your business.
I have found that the most valuable thing you can do to be likable is to show up authentically. People like those who they can trust. This means the more you are willing to be vulnerable and transparent, the more others will trust you. Likewise, the more they can trust you are who you say you are, the more likable you become. Showing up authentically in a world that wants you to conform is no easy feat, however, it is the most notable journey anyone can take. Just be you.