I started a global branding and digital marketing firm 24 years ago. For the first 5 years I was scared to go on vacation for fear all my hard work would unravel. Then my in-laws, father, mom and stepdad all started to get sick and I wanted to be there for them. They all lived thousands of miles away so I started to work less. After years of decline they each died about 8 months apart (7 people in 6 years) and I became executrix which is like having another job at times. So I had to take very good care of myself or I would not have been helpful to anyone else. I started working out every day. I started planning me time on my calendar. I became more comfortable with white space in my day and stopped over scheduling myself. And guess what? My business did not suffer, in fact it has become stronger. We moved up the food chain and have better clients. I do not think I could ever go back. I am so much happier and more productive as an entrepreneur than I ever was working for others. It is all about controlling your calendar. Even before the pandemic I no longer tried to squeeze in more meetings or hit multiple events at night. As an entrepreneur, I can be selective. Less really is more. I've chosen quality over quantity. It sounds trivial but it is true. I created a platform to do work I enjoy and feel energized by. I feel I have found my purpose because I used to work all the time and life was passing me by. I got raises and promotions but I was all work and no play and I did not feel fulfilled. As a result of losing my loved ones my motivation to change came as I realized I needed to redefine what success and happiness truly meant to me personally. I shifted from valuing external markers of achievement to focusing on making a genuine difference, working with people I respect, and creating environments where others feel valued. Finding motivation requires aligning your time, actions, and relationships with your deepest personal values rather than societal expectations. This internal clarity became my compass for transformation and gave me the sustained drive needed to make meaningful changes both professionally and personally.
Hello, My name is Doug Fleener, and I'd love to be part of this series. My motivation to change began with a single What If question: What if I went one day without a drink or a drug? That question changed my life. It showed me that motivation builds when you shift your perspective and see new possibilities. I went from an unemployed addict who bankrupted a family business to the Director of Retail for Bose Corporation and later the CEO of a national company. That question became the foundation of The What If Rule — a simple three-step method I now teach through my upcoming book, Start With What If: Weekly Questions to Spark Immediate Change and Growth, releasing in January. The What If Rule helps people use forward-looking What If questions to create better perspectives, new options, and meaningful action in real time. To me, there is nothing more powerful than a combination of motivation and taking action. Thank you for your consideration. — Doug Fleener Author of Start With What If (January 2026) dougfleener.com
For me, the motivation to change my life came from hitting a professional plateau. I was working long hours doing what I thought was "enough," but I wasn't seeing the growth or fulfillment I wanted. One day, after losing a major client due to outdated SEO strategies, I realized I'd stopped learning. That moment pushed me to reinvent how I approached both business and personal development. I began setting measurable goals, investing in new tools, and dedicating an hour every day to learning something that made me uncomfortable — like public speaking or AI integration in marketing. The key to staying consistent when it's hard is building momentum through small wins. I didn't overhaul everything overnight — I focused on improving 1% every day. Once I saw progress, motivation became self-sustaining. I always tell people: don't wait for motivation to strike; create it through disciplined action. When your habits start aligning with your vision, the drive naturally follows. If someone feels stuck, I'd suggest starting with a brutally honest self-assessment. Ask: "What am I tolerating that's holding me back?" Then commit to one change — even a small one — and track your progress. Motivation isn't about hype or inspiration; it's about consistency, clarity, and the willingness to be uncomfortable long enough to grow.
Finding true motivation came when I recognized that my technical expertise alone wasn't enough to grow my business successfully. The turning point was investing in myself through focused courses and workshops that taught me crucial business skills like value-based pricing and creating repeatable systems. Surrounding myself with knowledgeable peers who faced similar challenges provided both accountability and valuable insights when obstacles arose. This commitment to continuous learning transformed not just my business approach but my entire professional identity.
My motivation for change came when I realized that my definition of success needed to evolve beyond personal achievements. The turning point was discovering that true fulfillment comes from helping others grow and succeed in their own journeys. Today, my greatest satisfaction comes from seeing the positive impact I can have on other people's lives and development. This shift in perspective completely transformed not just my career decisions, but also how I approach relationships and personal growth.
My motivation to change came from watching what *doesn't* get said. In 1995, fresh out of Wake Forest Law, I saw client after client sit across from me unable to articulate what they actually needed--not just legally, but emotionally and financially. That gap between what people felt and what the law addressed drove me to build something different. The real shift happened in 2002 when I opened my own practice. I combined my MBA in finance with my psychology degree to create a system where we analyzed tax returns and business valuations while also asking "what does your life look like in two years?" One client told me later that having both conversations in the same room--numbers and feelings--made her feel like someone finally understood divorce isn't just paperwork. My advice: find the space between what your field does and what people actually need, then fill it with something concrete. When I became a Family Financial Mediator in 2008, it wasn't about credentials--it was because I'd watched too many couples destroy wealth fighting over principles. Now we save clients an average of $15,000 in litigation costs by mediating first, and they get to keep their dignity too. Motivation stuck because I measured outcomes that mattered: families restructured without bankruptcy, kids who didn't change schools, LGBTQ+ couples who got legal protection for their children. Track what changes for real people, not what looks good on your resume.
I didn't find motivation at 15 years old when I was in a wheelchair--I found a decision point. A therapist named Bob Smith donated his time to help me, and I realized that waiting to "feel ready" to walk again was bullshit. I decided I was going to figure it out no matter what, and that single decision eliminated the need for motivation entirely. Years later when I took over as head coach at Legends Boxing, we were struggling with member retention. I stopped trying to motivate my team and instead made them members first--they had to take classes, struggle through dragon walks, and feel what our paying members felt. Within 18 months we saw 45% membership growth because my coaches weren't coaching from theory anymore. The real shift happened when I competing in my first amateur fight while running national coaching programs. I had zero extra time and every reason to quit training. But I'd already publicly committed, so quitting meant failing in front of everyone. I used that same pressure at Legends--we track lead conversion rates and coach performance metrics publicly on whiteboards where the whole team sees them daily. Here's what actually works: stop trying to feel motivated and start building situations where backing out costs you more than pushing through. I tell struggling gym owners the same thing--the difference between trying and succeeding is just deciding you'll figure it out even on the days you don't want to.
I didn't find motivation in a moment of clarity--I found it in the middle of burnout. After more than a decade in high-volume hospital settings doing back-to-back deliveries and surgeries, I hit a wall where going through the motions wasn't enough anymore. The shift came when a patient told me she felt like "just another number," and I realized I'd become exactly what I never wanted to be. Opening Wellness OBGYN in 2022 wasn't about inspiration--it was about designing a practice where I could spend actual time with women going through fertility struggles or menopause without a waiting room of 40 patients breathing down my neck. I built my schedule around 30-minute appointments instead of the standard 15, which sounds small but meant I could actually sit down and hear why a 38-year-old was crying about her third failed ovulation cycle instead of just prescribing the next medication. The real motivation came from tracking something concrete: at Kapiolani and Straub, my patient satisfaction hovered around 87-90%, which is solid. Within six months of my own practice, it jumped to 98% because I finally had the space to blend my osteopathic training with actual lifestyle conversations--talking about stress management for PCOS patients or sleep hygiene for perimenopausal women. Seeing those scores meant women were getting the care I always wanted to give but couldn't in a system that prioritized volume over outcomes. What keeps me going isn't daily motivation--it's the structural change I made that removed the barriers. I blocked every Wednesday afternoon for surgical cases only, so I'm never rushing a da Vinci robotic procedure because someone's waiting for their annual exam. That one scheduling decision eliminated the constant dread I felt for years about compromising care quality.
I was drowning in my own accounting firm seven years ago, working 80-hour weeks and still feeling like I wasn't making the impact I wanted. Then I looked at my own tax return and realized I was paying way more than I should have been--and if *I* was doing it wrong as a tax professional, imagine what everyone else was missing. That's when I stopped just preparing returns and started asking clients one question during our meetings: "What would you do with an extra $5,000 this year?" The answers were incredible--pay off debt, start their kid's college fund, finally take that family trip. Dr. Ken Meisten went from owing $3,300 to getting $18,000 back when we dug into three years of missed deductions, and watching him reinvest that into growing his practice made me realize this wasn't about tax forms--it was about giving people permission to dream bigger. My motivation crystallized when I connected our tax savings to feeding hungry children through MannaRelief. Now every time we save a client money, we're also providing meals to kids who need them. When your work stops being about you and starts being about the ripple effect you create, motivation becomes automatic--I'm not pushing myself anymore, I'm being pulled forward by something way bigger than a bottom line.
I didn't find motivation in a single moment--I found it by watching people stay stuck in the same painful patterns month after month, settling for dysfunction because change felt scarier than suffering. After 14 years as a clinician specializing in trauma and addiction, I realized motivation isn't something you find, it's something you build through one uncomfortable decision at a time. The breakthrough happens when clients stop waiting to "feel ready" and start acting before they're ready. I had a 16-year-old client with a TBI, substance abuse, and depression whose mother described feeling relief the first session because someone finally understood. That teenager didn't wake up motivated--she showed up restless and distracted, and we ended sessions the moment her attention waned so she'd come back. Small, strategic wins built momentum where inspiration would have failed. Here's what actually works in my practice: identify one specific behavior pattern that's keeping you stuck, then replace it with a concrete alternative action for exactly one week. I use CBT and DBT to help people recognize what's holding them back from being their best self, but the real work is doing the opposite of what feels comfortable. At our Mind + Body Connection Workshop, participants don't just talk about change--they physically practice connecting awareness to action in real time, because your body has to learn the new pattern before your mind believes it's possible. Motivation dies when you wait for circumstances to improve before taking action. The clients who transform their lives are the ones who show up to therapy even when they don't want to, practice boundary-setting when it feels awkward, and sit with uncomfortable emotions instead of numbing them. Start with whatever small action contradicts your stuck pattern, do it badly at first, and repeat until it becomes automatic.
I didn't find motivation through inspiration--I found it through absence. My dad owned a small business and never missed my local baseball games, but he couldn't attend a single out-of-town tournament. For years I thought it was a money problem, so I got a finance degree and became a registered investment advisor to help business owners with their finances. Working with small business owners in financial services felt hollow because I realized money wasn't their real issue--it was the inability to step away from their business. My dad's problem was a scalability problem, not a financial one. That realization hit me like a freight train and I left the entire industry within months. The shift happened when I stopped trying to fix symptoms and started attacking the root cause. I launched BIZROK in 2021 with my wife Lauren because I wanted to become the scalability coach my dad never had. Now when a dental practice owner tells me they haven't taken a vacation in three years, I see my dad--and that's all the motivation I need to show up every single day.
I didn't find motivation--I found my back against the wall during a brutal custody battle while running a spa as a solo mom. When you're fighting for your kids and your business is the only proof you can provide stability, motivation becomes survival. That pressure forced me to show up every single day, even when I was emotionally destroyed. The shift happened when I started meditating at 10 years old, but I didn't *use* it strategically until I was building Dermal Era. Before every client session, I'd take 60 seconds to ground myself and remember: this person is trusting me with their body and their story. That tiny ritual transformed my work from just "doing massages" to channeling energy--clients started booking out weeks in advance because they felt something different. What actually changed everything was realizing I couldn't heal anyone else while I was falling apart. I created My Eve's Eden (a natural libido line) because I was so depleted as a single mom that I'd lost connection to my own body. Building something for myself first--then sharing it--taught me that personal change *is* the business strategy. The biggest lesson: I stopped separating "Jessie the mom," "Jessie the healer," and "Jessie the entrepreneur." When I brought my three daughters to the spa during setup, when I mentioned my custody fight to clients who needed to hear they weren't alone, when I taught Woman 360 mentees that your mess is your message--that integration made everything easier because I wasn't performing motivation, I was just living aligned.
I was 13 when my brothers and I built our family's home from the ground up. No contractors, no shortcuts--just us figuring it out one wall at a time. That taught me something crucial: motivation isn't about feeling ready, it's about starting when you're not. At 16, my brother and I started Wright's Shed Co. with zero business experience. We didn't wait for perfect conditions or more knowledge--we just built the first shed and let the work teach us. Twenty-seven years later, we've built thousands of structures across four states, all because we committed to one build before we knew how to run a company. The real shift happened when I stopped thinking of motivation as something you find and started treating it like a skill you practice. Every morning at Wright's Shed Co., we show up whether we feel like it or not--and that consistency compounds. We've stayed debt-free and grown lean specifically because we built the discipline to do the work when motivation was nowhere in sight. Here's what actually moves the needle: pick one small thing you can build today, then build it again tomorrow. When people ask me how to transform their garage or shed, I tell them the same thing--don't plan the perfect space for months, just clear one corner this weekend. Action creates momentum way faster than inspiration ever will.
I didn't find motivation to change my life--I found it in my clients who *couldn't* change theirs despite desperately wanting to. Working at MVS Psychology Group, I kept seeing the same pattern: people waiting for the perfect moment of clarity or inspiration that never came. The breakthrough happened when I stopped treating change as something you feel ready for and started treating it as something you structure around. During COVID, I wrote about the concept of "flow"--people feeling engaged not from doing comfortable things, but from stretching their minds voluntarily toward something worthwhile. I applied this backward to myself: instead of asking "am I motivated?" I asked "what small thing can I do today that requires just enough effort to feel meaningful?" Some days that was learning a new therapy modality for 20 minutes, other days it was reaching out to one isolated client who'd gone quiet. What actually worked was borrowing from my own depression treatment framework--specifically the "movement" principle. Depression slows you down physically and mentally, so I forced micro-movements before feelings caught up. I'd commit to showing up at my desk for 15 minutes to review one case file, nothing more. The action created the motivation, never the reverse. After tracking this for three months, I noticed my clinical output increased without burning out because I'd stopped negotiating with myself about whether I "felt like it." The real shift came from setting what I call "laughably small goals" with clients--and stealing the technique for myself. Not "transform my practice" but "send one email to a colleague about collaboration." When you hit tiny targets consistently, your identity shifts from "someone trying to change" to "someone who already is changing." That evidence stack becomes self-reinforcing, and suddenly you're not searching for motivation anymore--you're just showing up as the person you're becoming.
I left Cuba with a childhood dream of working in beauty, but when I got licensed 14 years ago in Florida, I quickly realized talent wasn't enough. I was technically skilled but completely invisible--no clients, no reputation, just another stylist in a saturated market. The wake-up call came when I calculated my hourly rate after expenses and realized I was making less than minimum wage. My motivation clicked when I stopped trying to compete on price and started documenting my color correction work. I had a client come in with severely damaged hair from a botched box dye job--orange roots, patchy blonde ends, completely fried. I took before photos, fixed it over two sessions, and posted the change. That single post brought me five color correction clients in one week, all willing to pay premium rates because they could see proof I could fix disasters. The shift was treating every challenging client as a portfolio piece rather than a problem. I started specializing in the work other stylists turned away--corrective color, complex balayage on damaged hair, extension color matching. Within eighteen months I had enough demand to open To Dye For Beauty Studio. Now 80% of my new clients come specifically for corrections or advanced color because I built my reputation on solving the hard problems, not doing the easy work everyone else offers.
I was 60 years old making good money in nonprofit financial management when I walked away to start FZP Digital. Everyone thought I'd lost my mind, but the truth is I'd already lost something more important--my "Why." I wasn't depressed or having a crisis; I just woke up one day and couldn't answer why I was doing what I was doing anymore. The motivation didn't come from inspiration or a lightning bolt moment. It came from realizing I'd been a drummer since age 10, got pushed into accounting by my parents, then accidentally finded I loved web design when a job required it. I had this weird combo of left-brain accounting skills and right-brain creativity that almost nobody else had, and I was wasting it sitting in someone else's office. Here's what actually got me moving: I wrote down Simon Sinek's Golden Circle questions and forced myself to answer them honestly. My "Why" became helping business owners grow so they could focus on THEIR why instead of wrestling with WordPress. That specificity made the scary parts--being 60 in a field full of 25-year-olds, leaving steady income--feel less important than the alternative of staying stuck. The thing nobody tells you is that what I thought were weaknesses became my biggest differentiators. Clients didn't want another young tech bro--they wanted someone who understood their business problems because I'd lived them for decades. I've kept almost every client for nine years now, which is unheard of in web design, because I'm not selling code, I'm selling understanding. When you find your actual "Why," the motivation stops being something you search for and becomes something that won't leave you alone.
I didn't find motivation in a moment of clarity--I found it in the faces of people everyone else had given up on. Early in my career at Mills/Peninsula Hospital, I worked with a woman who'd been homeless for three years and had cycled through seven different programs. She told me she was "too broken" for housing to work, and honestly, her case file supported that belief. What changed everything for me wasn't inspiration--it was watching her succeed anyway. We placed her in supportive housing with weekly check-ins instead of monthly, and she hit 18 months of stable housing. That's when I realized motivation isn't about waiting to feel confident in the outcome. It's about building systems that work even when people (including yourself) don't feel ready. At LifeSTEPS, we now track a 98.3% housing retention rate across our programs. That number exists because we stopped designing services for the "perfect" client and started building them for real people who relapse, miss appointments, and struggle. When I feel burned out or question if this work matters, I look at that retention rate--it represents 36,000 homes where someone is still living despite all the reasons they "shouldn't" succeed. The actual motivator is evidence you're building something that survives your bad days. I keep a folder of resident milestone photos--not the staged ones, but screenshots of text messages like "Made it to my grandson's birthday" or "6 months rent paid on time." Those tiny wins from people who weren't supposed to make it? That's what keeps you moving when motivation feels impossible.
I left a 30-year corporate tech career to become a life coach, and honestly, motivation didn't come first--clarity did. I started by asking myself what actually mattered when nobody was watching. Turns out I valued presence, connection, and helping people grow way more than climbing another corporate ladder. The breakthrough wasn't some epiphany--it was doing laundry. After I left my job, folding my son's swim towels and worn workout socks stopped being a chore and became this tangible reminder of a life I'd chosen on purpose. That's when I realized motivation isn't about pumping yourself up; it's about building tiny rituals that reconnect you to what you value when things get hard. Here's what actually worked: I picked one perspective shift at a time instead of overhauling everything. With clients, I've seen the same pattern--the guy who stopped using nicotine and marijuana didn't white-knuckle it through willpower. He built clarity around who he wanted to become first, then the behavior changes followed naturally because they aligned with that identity. My take for anyone stuck: stop looking for motivation and start designing your environment. Put your running shoes by the door. Make the default choice the one that serves your values. I coach tech leaders through this all the time--they're great at optimizing systems at work but never thought to apply it to their own lives.
I was burned out teaching middle school math in Massachusetts after 8 years, and the breaking point came when I realized I was going through the motions rather than actually connecting with students. My motivation to change came from a radical decision: I bought a motorcycle and spent months traveling the world in 2019, meeting teachers in different countries who reminded me why I started teaching in the first place. What I finded during that trip was that the one-on-one conversations I had with educators everywhere--from rural Thailand to European cities--all pointed to the same thing: students thrive when someone takes time to truly understand them individually. That realization made me physically unable to go back to a traditional classroom where I'd have 150+ students and couldn't give them personalized attention. I started A Traveling Teacher the month I returned, working with just three students from my kitchen table. The motivation stuck because I saw immediate results--one eighth grader went from failing algebra to getting a B+ in six weeks, and his mom cried during our progress call. When you see concrete evidence that your change is working, the fear and doubt disappear fast. My advice: create a forcing function that makes staying the same impossible. I literally quit my job before having a business plan because I knew I'd talk myself out of it otherwise. Sometimes motivation isn't about inspiration--it's about burning the boats so moving forward is your only option.
Change is a natural part of life, and instead of fighting it, I've learned to embrace it. That doesn't mean it's easy, but by realizing that both prosperity and adversity are part of the journey, I can keep a more balanced perspective on life. When self-doubt and fear creep in, I think about the passion that drove me to start this business. That passion gives me the discipline to remain consistent when the going gets tough. To create motivation, one must embrace life as a constant state of change. Someone can begin this process by setting goals that are thoughtfully designed to be spiritually and socially uplifting, as well as readily attainable. By clearly defining what they want to achieve, they establish a guiding compass that helps them navigate challenges when trying times arise. These goals should reflect your morals and values in life, serving as a beacon to guide one's path in critical times. Next, it is of utmost importance to have faith, whether in yourself, your vision, or the process, which will serve as a safety net in stormy weather. Change does not happen at the snap of a finger, but gradually by large or small steps. If one remains committed and has faith, they will learn how to overcome obstacles and grow the long-lasting change they desire in their life just as I did in mine as I endeavored to live the life of an entrepreneur.