Mediation offers a unique opportunity for parties to share their story, express their emotions, acknowledge their wrongs, and meet their needs through personalized solutions. In high-stakes negotiations, it’s crucial to help the parties identify what truly matters to them as they explore their options. If significant money is involved, what does that money symbolize, and how would they use it? If relationships are at risk, how much do those relationships influence their decision-making? If a party seeks to punish the other, do they need acknowledgment of a dignity violation? By addressing these underlying concerns, you can unlock more creative resolutions than initially imagined.
As a divorce mediator, all of my cases are "high-stakes" to the families involved. Divorce mediation touches every aspect of a person's life, and puts into question everything they hold dear, including time with their children. When the stakes are this high, you can bring calm to the situation by taking a "win-lose" mentality out of the equation. Get to the core of the FEARS about the situation that both parties have. Once the underlying fear about a situation is articulated, you can make both parties feel heard and understood. Often, the most important thing someone wants in a situation is to feel understood. When a mediator fosters understanding between the parties, they are usually willing to be more flexible in their positions than they were when they got to the mediation table. That new flexibility can be highlighted by the mediator and should be appreciated and reciprocated by both parties. This new loop of "goodwill" that the mediator can create allows even high-stakes negotiations to move forward smoothly.